Scary urges to mutilate myself... how can i tell my psych without freaking her out?

Question

I have been a self harmer for the past 3 years and i have also been suffering from Bulimia and panic disorder concurrently.

Every once in a while i get strong urges to really badly hurt myself (worse than cutting or burning)

I have had urges to: (**disturbing**)

- Break my wrist -done

- Pull of my fingernails - done

- Push sewing needles through my skin - did not do

- Cut the white part of my eye - did not do

And last night i had a strong urge to cut off my eyelid. but i didnt do it...

I am seeing a psychologist for my other issues (Eating disorder, self harm and anxiety), but since i have managed to stop cutting (1 month free), i feel strange mentioning these urges.

How can i tell her how i feel about this without freaking her out?

Answer 1

I think that you should mention that you have stopped cutting but are still having fantasies about self-harming thoughts.  If she asks you to elaborate, then let her know what you are thinking of.

Answer 2

Just tell her she won't freak out. that's what they are there for.

Answer 3

whooo thats kinda bad u really should talk to someone about it and fast before u really do harm yourself!!! dont do that stuff man!

Answer 4

Tell your psych that you are really scared, and just let the truth spill out. Psychs are meant to be there for support, not to judge you. They will help you, they are trained to react well to things like that. Breathe, and everything will be fine, really..

Congratulations on the one month free of cutting ! That is a big achievement ! Hope all goes well with the psych, goodluck !

Answer 5

woah.... im not touching that with a 50foot pole...

Answer 6

wow. looks like you have a problem there. Well I'd say what you feel those urges listen to some calming music like jazz(at least i think is calming). Well, you can choose whatever music you want, but it does help. When your going to hurt your self think also how is going affect you. you don't want red skinned and no eyelid eyes do you?  

Answer 7

She would have heard worse, if she has been practicing any length of time. You could just print this page, and show her, or make a voice recording, and play it (check functionality).  View the techniques for control of anxiety/panic attacks, in section 8, at ezy build, below. Begin, on this first occasion, only, by holding your breath for 5, or 10 seconds: this will give you the confidence to realise that YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR BREATHING, but not pass out, or die (your autonomic nervous system resumes breathing, if you become unconscious). Understand panic attacks, and what triggers them, in your life (if it is unresolved anxiety, or stress, see sections 6, or 42, respectively; bulimia: section 39; self harm: section 16.). The paper bag method works for most people: try it.  

   If you are fairly suggestible, the following are reliable: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/

Your last alternative is psychotherapy, to address its fundamental cause: read section 1, and examine the http://1-800-therapist.com/  website, and use the locators, and phone book. I used to suffer from panic attacks, until I questioned what had changed in my life, at, or just before that time, to trigger them. For some people, this is enough. These days, I have instilled the habit of, whenever a situation occurs where panic is likely, I visualise a large, "STOP!" sign, as vividly as possible, followed by repeating to myself: "stay calm" in my mind. You could try the same method. It usually takes 30 - 40 repetitions, for most people, to establish a new habit. I also suggest that you learn, then practise the controlled breathing technique, until competent, then employ it, at the very first sign of a panic attack.  

   Practice one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer: "Even though I sometimes suffer from panic attacks, I deeply and completely accept myself." Note: the controlled breathing only helps with the symptoms (as do medications/herbal remedies): you need to address the underlying cause, and this requires some form of therapy, and Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy has proved effective.

   Advice from a published psychiatrist on controlled breathing. (1.) Get a clock, or watch with a second timer. (2.) Practise for 5 minutes, 4 times daily, until proficient. (3.) Take a small breath in, and hold it, for 6 seconds. (4.) Think to yourself: "RELAX", just before breathing out. (5.) Try to feel a sense of releasing tension, as you breathe out. (6.) Breathe in for 3 seconds, then out, for 3 seconds. Try to make your breathing very smooth, and light, as you breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth, or nose. (7.) For the next minute, continue to breathe in, and out, every 3 seconds. (8.) Go back to step 3, at the end of the minute, and proceed through to step 7, doing this for 5 minutes. Use this at the very first sign of a panic attack starting, or any time you feel anxious, or tense.  

   Because many people can't access/afford professional therapy, I include the EFT, and EMDR variant for them to try, free of charge. Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy is generally available in most areas, but EMDR (see section 33) may well be worth trying, and is becoming more widespread.

  (The following is a variant of EMDR therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, insomnia, and anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective. It is easy to be dismissive of such a seemingly unusual technique, but give it a good tryout, for at least a few weeks, to see if it is effective in your case).

Prior to using either of the methods in the above paragraph, first sit comfortably, and take a deep breath. Then, without moving your head, move your eyes from the left, to the right, and back again, taking around a second to do so (say: "a thousand and one": this takes approximately a second).

Repeat this procedure (without the words, although you can count, subvocally, if you like) 20 times: "A thousand and one; a thousand and two... " and so on, to a thousand and twenty. Then close your eyes and relax. Become aware of any tension or discomfort you feel.                      

                 Then open your eyes, and take another deep breath, and repeat step one, closing your eyes, and relaxing afterwards, in the same manner. Then, repeat the procedure one last time. Some people may find that this is all they need do.   With experience, you may find that you can practise this in public, with your eyes closed. See section 8, at ezy build.

Answer 8

Well let me say first Congratulations on the one month free of self harm.

With that said I really doubt that your therapist is going to freak out- you do know she/he has heard a lot. Thinking of hurting yourself is not doing it, but not telling your therapist is being dishonest and it sounds like you're making progress, so don't stop now. It sounds like she has been there for you during lots of things and she still is there for you so keep trusting her, it'll workout. Best of Everything,it sounds like you have worked very hard on your issues-good for you..

Answer 9

Sweetie, I dont think its possible to really freak out your pyschologist, as this probably isnt the first time shes heard that, and if shes been a psychologist for a long time shes probably heard just about everything, so I wouldnt worry too much about her reaction, especially since she wouldnt judge you anyways.  I would focus much more on how your going to tell her and what your going to say.  And then maybe make a few mental notes on how you can work with her on this issue and get passed it, without hurting yourself.  Also, you should know that if your under 18, your psychologist might have to tell your parents, if she thinks your a threat to yourself or to others.  Good luck sweetie!!

Answer 10

Your psychologist is not going to be freaked by this-it's fairly routine stuff. You are in a very scary place and you need her help, she has to know everything.

It's a compulsion you have to harm yourself. Your emotional pain is so deep that the pain from hurting yourself is allot easier to deal with. With the cutting I was told to use a red magic marker.

Your doctor is the last person you should be worrying about. She is trained in this disorder. I don't know where you live but in Canada psychologist can't write scripts for medication.

You will work through this.

Keep writing but in the right forums

http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/

http://mentalhealth.about.com/

Answer 11

If shes a good psychologist, she will not freak out, but she may inform someone, because "if you are a danger to yourself or others" i think they have to say something.