Scenario: you wake up next to your sleeping partner and you've shat the bed due to illness. What do you do?

Question

There's not much time. Your partner will soon wake up. Your abdominals are in agony but you must act. You've soiled yourself and the bed. And your partner has already rolled over into the mess but hasn't awoken to the horror of it all yet.

What do you do?

Answer 1

just pretend to be still asleep. and then make sure to wake after your parter. say you didnt do it and your partner will think they did it and be embarrased.

Answer 2

Blame them.

Answer 3

i get dumped.

Answer 4

I hope you're not asking this in the middle of it all...

fess up and fast. you're about to find out how much your partner cares about you.

Answer 5

get out of bed quick and if its still in ur pants...run to the BR and change

Answer 6

My partner and I have been together for over 49+ years. I would nudge him and when he opened an eye I would tell him not to be upset, but that I had had an accident and would be busy for a few minutes dealing with it. I would say, "Please roll over a little to your left so I can deal with this quickly." This thing you mentioned is part of life. People live, people die. People are well, people are sick. People choke on their food in restaurants. People have outbursts they can't control as leftovers from a stroke. The list goes on. Some with Tourette's Syndrome shout suddenly. Life goes on. As embarrassing as it might be, if you know and love the person you're with, that is the strength of the reality of your friendship. Just be gentle, don't get all upset yourself. Get up and quickly go get what you will need to make things right and be about your business. New sheets, perhaps. We have all experienced things like this. Quietly push up a window. The idea is not to dramatise it, but to quickly perform hands-on clean-up and put it behind both of you immediately.

Answer 7

Get up, clean yourself up. Then get a wet towel, and clean your partner... If they awaken, simply say, SORRY!

Answer 8

Only one way to go mate, the truth.  wake her up, explain your ill and take her in the shower,  she will understand, it may even bring you closer!

Answer 9

Time to find a new sleeping partner dude

Answer 10

There's nothing you can do but get up and wash yourself then start cleaning the bed.

Answer 11

I mean it is absolutely DISGUSTING but since it really wasn't your fault and was due to illness...You partner may understand!

I guess I would wake her up and say...THIS IS DISGUSTING, but you need to get up and get out of bed and in the shower!

I am so sick that I ended up making a mess in the bed!

I am SO, SO sorry!

Then I would hurry up and throw all the sheets and blankets, clothes in the washer while she was in the shower!

I mean...SHAT happens I guess ;o)

Answer 12

Wake them up and be like "Eeewww, look what you've done!"

You may have to smear it more on their side so they are convinced it came out of their bum.

Answer 13

Clearly the best action to take next is quickly yell 'jiggooooo' and that will immediately wake them up. Now look them in the eye and make sure they do as well. Now, as your leaving, remain in eye contact and just back out of the room. The moment you're around the corner, run, you're home free.

Answer 14

Ruuunnnnnnnnnnnn

Answer 15

Tell them that it won't happen again.

Answer 16

uh tell him im really sick, and he needs to jump in the shower, im so sorry. and he is the sweetest guy so he would not care and he would take care of me, probably take a shower and wash the sheets while i sat on the toilet. i love my boyfriend

Answer 17

Take her while she's asleep into the shower and and be really s**y about it and pretend you're going to make love in the shower, but really just wipe the c**p off of her. Then leave her there and say "I'll be back". And change the bed sheet.

Answer 18

Get up, slowly let them roll over onto the side you just got out of and steal their side.

If they wake up and say "What the ****?!" rub your eyes and ask 'what?'. Quickly jump out of bed in disgust and steal the shower.

Free shower AND no blame.

Two for one.

XD

Answer 19

clean yourself up and then blame it on him/her

Answer 20

Drag them into the shower quick!

SHOWER s*x!

Answer 21

wake up your partner with a slap to the back of the head call them a dirty b*****d and get them to clean it up   (i do it all the time)

Answer 22

laugh hysterically at what THEY done

Answer 23

If you and your partner are in love, they will understand and ask you if they can get you anything or take you to a doctor because you aren't feeling well.

If you and your partner are just dating and not very close, don't expect a call.

Answer 24

I peed on my husband one time. We both fell asleep drunk. I was soo cold and my belly was full -I totally freaked -I went in the kitchen(after i took a shower) I got a glass of warm water poured it on my husband (he was way passed out) When he woke up I was like -"Ewe-You peed on me" I blamed it on him=he totally believed me-you have to turn it around-that way he/she can't freak.

Answer 25

Two words. RUN OUT! LOL.

This is one messed up scenario dude.

In all honesty, i'd probably try to hide/clean it up if I could...if not i'd just tell them the truth as soon as possible, regardless of how AKWARD that would be.

Answer 26

lolllll SWAP PANTS WHILE THERE STILL SLEEPING THEN RUNNNN  QUICK!!!!

Answer 27

blame the dog?? idk that really sucks.

Answer 28

ohh leave home and return later and blame it on the dog

Answer 29

cry.

Answer 30

LOL, the questions on here get more odd by the minute! Personally I'd be mortified

Answer 31

Spread it all over him/her and change into some fresh clothes. Wake them up saying, "OMG are you okay??? You just crapped all over me!"

HAHAHAHAHA