Schizophrenic friend. I don't know what to do!?

Question

okk this is really long, but please read, I need advise.

My friend Brea moved from Asia to Canada in grade 3. We have been in all the same classes at school. (I"m in grade 9 now) So I'm close to her, but we never considered eachother bestfriends. But she was with my group of friends. Brea said that she had a bestfriend who was very close to her. Her name was Tai. They both moved from Asia but Tai moved to the US. So they were sepreated but still kept lot's of contact. About 10 months ago, Brea found out that Tai was injured in a car accident. Tai got amneisa and forgot who Brea was. Brea was very depressed for this, and would cry and cry all the time. Finally Tai remembered who Brea was, but never remebered how close they were. Brea only told me and our other friend Jess. She told both of us not to say anything to anyone. We promised we wouldn't. Then at a party, Jess blurted it out infront of everyone, including Brea.

Brea does not forgive people. She's still mad at people from grade 4. I've tried to tell her it's not healthy but she would never beleive me. So, Brea never forgave Jess. And Jess got "kicked" out of the group. So Brea continued with depression. She would cut her wrist but only did it once. She went to the thearpist and they diagnosed her with schizophrenia. That was about 8 months ago. She only told me, but I needed advise so I told some people. And then one of the people I told, told Brea. Brea got mad at me and still hasn't forgiven me, but talks to me. So our group of friends knows whats been happening. We also thought that Brea was always a little (I hate to say it but...) wierd at times. Terry (other friend) hated Brea, but couldn't do anything about it. Then on our grad trip we wanted to have fun. But we lost Brea by accident. When she found us, she was screaming and shouting as us! She hated everything. We didn't know what to do. Eventually she started to talk to us again. We were all a bit afraid of her, but didn't want to leave her. My parents don't want me to talk to her that much. Neither does any of my freind's parents.

Then sometime in the summer, Brea overdosed on her meds and got her stomach pumped. I dont know what to do anymore. None of my firends know what to do anymore. My birthday party is this weekend and I'm inviting all my friends for a sleepover. Brea is invited but not for the sleepover. But that's for two reasons. 1, my parents don't want her to. and 2, none of my friends want her to.

Now as for Jess. All of us forgave her awhile ago. But the girl who told Brea that I told about the schizophrenia thing to and of course Brea.

Oh ya, and she made up a girl in her head named Lori. So sometimes she talks in 3rd person as Lori. And then in my math class, Brea was sitting next to me and pointed at an empty seat. And then she was like is anyone sitting there.And then me and my two friends Ashley and Sarah were like no. And then she's like, "I see Lori"

I Dont know what to do anymore and how to deal with it/ Please help.

And I know that this was very long, but thankyou so much for reading it all :)

Answer 1

I have a schizophrenic friend. He can be very hard to deal with, but this I know.

1: You can be friends, but you have to have boundaries. For instance, my friend knows that he can call me when he needs someone to help him anchor him. But he knows not to call me at 3 in the morning. He knows he can't live in my house or stay over ever.

If I didn't put those boundaries in place, my life would be a chaotic as his, and that's not going to help either of us.

2: Maybe this should be #1. You can't "help". You can be a friend, but you can't fix/treat your friend. Your friend needs professional help.The best thing you could do would be to encourage your friend to take their medication/treatment as directed.

I'm glad you forgave your friend. It's not her fault. She didn't choose this. It's no different than getting the flu, cancer, diabetes, etc...

So be a friend, but have your boundaries. Talk to your teachers about it. Talk to your principal. They can assist in getting treatment, and they should probably be in the loop on this anyways.

Answer 2

Google Schizophrenia and find out about it. Knowledge will help you. I'm kind of surprised that she's in regular school if she is psychotic. Anyway, read about it and there will be information on how to behave around people who are impaired in this way. Their mind does not work the way yours does.

Answer 3

Having a loved one with a serious mental illness is difficult at any age ~ the only thing you can control in the situation is your reaction. Love your friend and be supportive as you can...without making yourself crazy trying to 'fix' things. Brea's illness means that her reality is not always the same as yours, and her reactions are based on perceptions that may not make sense to anybody else involved. Your parents love you and want to protect you ~ Brea is going to have a hard time and need lots of support but her illness should not be allowed to overshadow all your other activities (like your birthday!) and you shouldn't feel guilty about taking care of yourself.

Answer 4

wow you werent kidding this is really long. Idk they have this thing on Schizophrenia on MTV's True Life you might wanna look into that.

Answer 5

sweetie, this is too much for you or us to know how to handle.  She has very serious problems.  you're a good person for not just writing her off totally.  She'll thank you forever for that.  Maybe you should talk to Brea's parents (with your parents in tow) to get a better feel of what kind of relationships Brea is capable of having and the best way to reach or avoid her.  I'm sure her parents are terrified watching their baby go through all of this.  They'll appreciate your goodness.

You're not obligated to be her friend.  She is not your responsibility.

You'll be in my prayers.