School Issues Again, Can You Advise?

Question

Hi every one. I'm back with my school issues. My 10 yr old son has been suspended from school for two days. He is starting to fight back. There is a kid that has been harassing him verbally, and sometimes physically. The kid calls him names ALOT. Calls him things like M*****F*****. We have been dealing with this since January. Well my son is tired of it and the school has done nothing to help him. This kid has at one point threatened to break my son's legs, and fingers. The same kid has threatened to kill my 12 yr. old daughter.

Now I have filed a police report, but because the kids are under the age of 12 there is nothing they can do, it is a school issue. When my son came home that day he got suspended, (by the way, another one of the students mother drove my son home because he was visibly upset) he was crying because the principal had told him that he couldn't return to his classroom because he was too dangerous to have in the class.

Answer 1

Honestly, I have been going through something quite similar over the past few years w/my son. The school has yet to do anything productive to protect my son. At one point my son was retaliating and he was the one getting in trouble, not the children who initiate it. The teacher told me she knew what was going on but could do nothing about it because the children initiating it never got caught and that my son was getting caught because he was not sneaky like the other kids. I don't know if this could be an option for you but I have decided to homeschool my babies (nearly 12, nearly 11, and 9 1/2....my eldest is 16 but does not want to be homeschooled because he is a vocational technical school).I will be starting the program at the beginning of the next term. I hesitated at first, fearing I would not know how to go about it properly but then I found an add for a public cyberschool and it seems as though they take care of pretty much everything aside from the hands on part which I am more than happy to manage. Good luck.

www.agora.org

Answer 2

first tell the school your son will be out for a month and will be needing all assignments to take home for him then go to the school board and let them know either action will be taken to remove the hostile environment for your child or you will file a law suit for endangerment and neglect and the fact that your child has been staying home due to fear of his life being unprotected(guns do enter the hands of kids and schools these days, worry a lot). Yes Ma'am the police certainly do have the responsibility to arrest that child if he touches your son again, I think in your sons case he was fighting to defend himself out of extreme fear(normal),I also would recommend serving that boys parents or guardian with a summons to court for abuse and also notify the juvenile court system and speak to someone there about this bully and see what your options truly are. That school has the responsibility to ensure the welfare of your child each and everyday at that"federally funded" institution, I dont think they want their names dragged through the papers and media(you could remain anonymous).

Answer 3

I watched my cousin go through this as well. we turned to the police and as they cant fine the child they can fine the parents.  I know its not the best advice but it may help maybe the parents will do what they are sopose to..

Also hopefuly at the meeting with the school board that should be good also.. maybe have your son write an appology letter even though he was only defending himself, it may look like he is trying to make an attempt and show that he really was upset with the hole ordeal.

Answer 4

You can't switch his schools??

I guess that would be the easy way out.  It's not right what they're doing.. it scares me that there are schools out there that will not stand up for these children..

All I can say is to go in there with a cool and collected attitude.  Do not go in there ranting & raving.  Also do not go in there like a push-over.  

Tell them that you demand respect & that they find a better solution than just suspending him when it's obviously NOT JUST your son "fighting".  

Bring all paperwork you have, even insident reports and ask them to provide you with copies of THEIR incident reports (schools must report when something like this happens -threats, fights, etc) make sure the school is doing their homework!

Answer 5

several years ago when my son was at secondary school  - he was verbally bullied to the extent that he became anorexic and I had to have him sleep on my bedroom floor as I was afraid to leave him - countless times I contacted the head etc and always got the same answer "the children involved have problems etc etc" - I eventually moved my son to another school and he never looked back - the head of the old school kept phoning to say how sorry he was and that it should not have happened and if he went back blah blah yes right.  My son is now in Uni in london and doing very well.

Answer 6

I did not read your previous questions, so I'm really not sure what has went on the past, but I would suggest:

Most school personnel (teachers & administrators) really feel as they are the King of the world and most HATE any kind of suggestion that they are doing a poor job ruling their kingdom.  

Call the home room teacher and ask to schedule an appointment so that you can get your son's homework.    Ask the teacher what she has observed as being the problem between your son and the bully.     Don't argue with her.    I know that you believe your son (and you should) but you also should hear what the teacher knows about the matter.      

Meet with the principal and school counselor to try to resolve a problem.    Stress that you don't want to cause problems for anyone, but you do want to help your son and help prevent other students from being bullied.    Did any other students see the bully harass your son or make any death threats towards your daughter?   If so, talk to those parents so that you can convey that information to the principal.      Ask that your son be moved to a different homeroom.      Afterwards, follow up your meet and confirm your discussions in writing and hand deliver the letter.    Be professional.  

Going to the school board or threatening to do so before meeting with school officials will probably cut down the line of communication.   However, if you  don't get results from the school administrators, you need to ask to be put on the agenda for the next school board meeting.    Go individually to the school board members to address your concerns ahead of time (usually they are pretty approachable since school board members are elected by vote of the community).    Go into a meeting and present the facts.    Let them know that you are concerned for your son's safety and the safety of the other students.      

Keep a written journal of problems, conversations, etc.     Make sure you have specifics (date/name of person).   Keep all correspondence.    You may need this if you end up having to hire an attorney and sue the school district.  

Good luck.       If you can (it'll be hard), try to remain calm and appear as though you want to help the school in finding a solution to this problem.

Answer 7

There's a kid like this at the school I teach at and there's not much you can do with that kind of kid.  Chances are his parents don't care about him as much as you care about your son--it's hard for a school to do anything with a kid if the parents don't support them.  Also if this kid is doing these things when no one is watching, it's hard to discipline.  You can't take one kid's word over another.  

If the child causing the problems is in the same classroom you can ask that your son be changed to another room.  Ask for a conference with the principal, teacher and anyone else involved (bus driver, p.e. teacher, etc.) about the situation. Avoid being confrontational--even if others in the meeting start getting hostile.  (I hate to admit it but there are people in the teacher profession who are *very* defensive.)  If you don't get any help--or at least attempts at help--then, take it to the school board.

Answer 8

Argue with the Head of school { if you are lucky enough to see them , we never see ours, it get delegated to someone else. } you can write to the Governers of the school to ask them to intervine,

Answer 9

That is very sad... and since the authorities in his school aren't doing much or anything at all, then I'd suggest that you take him to another school... why should you stay there anyway?

But before leaving, you should really file a case against them or something... just something that would alleviate or lessen the bullying around school campuses... that's just not right... but really, the best that you can do right now is moving your kid to another school or else, he'd only experience more harassment...

Answer 10

You need to start writing all of the things your child says down and have A sit down with the principal and the other childs parents,(don't let the children be there only adults). This really sounds like A bad situation, If it was my children I don;t really know what I would do, But it's always good to have documentation so you really should start keeping notes.  I wish you all the best luck, and hope that it all works out for you,wouldn't wish this on anyone, maybe you should even switch schools if possible. I hate dealing with schools sometimes I've had to fight them before and it was a lot of work, but I did eventually get what I was needing. Sometimes you just have to fight back, especailly if it's for your children, no child should have to live like that.

Answer 11

Change the school, that's for sure. Its unacceptable for principal to react like that, and not react to death threats.

Try calling childline. They will give you information that you need and maybe some other advice how to support your son  (it must be very hard, so he must be stressed and things.)

Hope this helps, good luck and the best. x*x

Answer 12

When you go for this meeting.  You need to have a journal of events when you son was bullied by this other kid.  Then you need to tell the all of them that your child has a right to go to school and be safe.  Tell them that the other child also needs to be repremanded for his part in the mess.  Also tell them that in the future if they cannot insure your son's safety, you will see them court.  The other thing is the police report you made.  I don't know who told you they couldn't do anything because of their age, but you need to go back to the police dept and speak to sgt. or commander. or even the chief.  This is the reason there are school shooting all over the U. S.  Take a copy of the report to the district attorney and tell him you want something done, even if its putting the kid on probation.  And tell those people at the school meeting that the next time your child is hurt by a bully, at school your going to sue them and the district.  The other thing you could do if you can't get them to move their  a s s  is contact your local t.v. station. Meet with a reporter and tell them what's been happening and that the school did nothing to help your child and when he finally defended himself, they suspended him.