School bus and bus stop problems?

Question

heres a little of the story my son is 5 and has to ride a bus to get to school. there are three other kids on his stop and 8 year old girl an 8 year old boy and a 12 year old boy. who should be in middle school.but hes not

the girl isnt really the problem the two obnoxious boys are. they get in the bushes banging on the air conditioning units(we live in an apartment complex) they scream and yell its 7 am when we are out there. very early, the hit spit cuss punch kick and throw things. my 5 year old is picking up these habits and doing them at school and on the bus. they also tease my son and the girl they have resorted to name calling. i am at my wits end. i have talked to my complexes office its not really their problem today the two boys were hitting with each other with jackets and running into the street without looking the 12 year old was almost hit.

who is responsible for these terrors on the bus stop? who else can i call for help? i want these kids to be safe any advice for d

Answer 1

as a former school bus driver, I feel for you.  I delt with people's little darlings like that all day everyday and when I confronted parents about that behavior 75% of the time I got ignored.  To make it worse most school admistrators won't support drivers trying to discipline that sort of behavior.

What you can do is

A> stay with your child, even if that means taking him in a car to keep him away from that behavior.

B> talk to the driver, not the bus company.  Make sure he knows and seat your kid  and even the other girl away from those boys.

C> talk to the little girls parents.  A united front when you finally find out who those little terrors belong to is more impressive.  If more then one parent is complaining its more likely to get attention from both their folks and the school board.

D> Request a change of bus.  - often school districts have a van service for special needs children, and worse come to worse you could request that your child ride that bus, rather then be exposed to the mess at your stop

E> be a stalker.. sounds horrid dont it?  but follow the two kids to their building if you can, since the appt complex wont tell you who they are. Ask older kids in the neighborhood if they know where they live.  Sometimes parents simply dont know the mess their own children are causing.

Answer 2

Are you worried about your son, or about these other kids' safety? If it's your son, bring him out to the bus stop at the last minute before the bus comes, or take him to another bus stop, or use the opportunity to quietly tell him what you think of the other kids' behavior and how proud you are when he doesn't act like that.

If you're worried generally about the other kids' running into the street and so on ... I'd leave alone the annoying behavior (like yelling) and tell them firmly to cut out any dangerous behavior (hitting, kicking, running into the street).  I'd coach your son on how to stand up for himself in the face of name calling, and if he needed more support and it wasn't working, I'd tell them yourself to cut it out.  Most elementary school students will see any adult as an authority figure, and if the parents aren't around and they're being unsafe, it's fine for you to step in politely but firmly.  If they're so wild that they won't listen to you, I'd talk to the parents if you know them (mention the running into the road thing; that won't sound critical but is likely to get them outside monitoring their kids) or call the school and say you've witnessed them running into the road, hitting other children at the bus stop, and otherwise being unsafe.

You can also tell your son to sit near the front of the bus by the driver if there's bad or dangerous behavior going on on the bus.

To the extent your own son acts out, make sure you discipline him consistently and also let him know you're proud of him when he's behaving well.

Answer 3

Call the school and talk to the person in charge of the busses. Maybee they could help.

Answer 4

Have you spoken to the parents? That would be my first thought, However, having 4 children of my own I realize that some parents today just don't give a c**p. So if talking to the parents is not helpful I would speak directly to the children. These are obviously not the kind of kids who care about setting an example for the younger ones so I would take a harsher approach and just try to put a little fear in them. Perhaps mentioning that you will speak to the police will do it. Otherwise, talk to the school and see if they can be of any help. Usually not though as they are not responsbile for rkids while at the stop. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

We've been this route as well - I totally sympathize, my friend. It's a horrible situation to be put in by irresponsible parents.

This is what I did: First, I talked to the parents (which we had to track down) and let them know that I was concerned for their kids' safety. They shut the door in my face. Which led to step two, which was asking the bus driver if he had problems with them. He did and let me know that they were within one more write-up before they were kicked of the bus... which I prayed for, but unfortunately, it didn't happen that year! I also let the bus barn and school know, even though nothing was said to the parents at the time.

Finally, after all the other steps, the final straw: when the boys started horsing around, throwing things, picking on other kids, I stood in front of them, lowered my face to their face and told them "That's enough. Stop right now." The first time I did so with the older boy, he stopped in his tracks. The second time, I told the younger boy "That is not acceptable behavior", he ran home crying, missed the bus and his parents never let him come to the bus stop alone again. Win! But when those boys started cussing, I told them that language isn't tolerated. When they started running, I told them to stand still or have a seat, this is not a playplace. I literally became the parent of the bus stop and it sucked... but it kept my child safe and stopped him from picking up bad behavior.

If the parents get all torqued, and some will, tell them to feel free to come down and keep an eye on the kids with you so they don't have to worry about you correcting their kids. Bet they won't. And they probably won't say anything to you again, either.

Just a side note: Our school district adopted the policy that the school bus stop is included in the disciplinary bounds. So if a kid is not acting at the bus stop the way he/she should be acting in school, the school has the right to discipline the child according to school policy. You might want to check on that in your area.

Every situation is different, but you're on the right track in keeping the bus stop a safe place for all of the kids. It starts a day of learning off soooo wrong when you have chaos first thing in the morning. Good luck!

Answer 6

Their parents are ultimately responsible.  Talk to the parents if you can.  Tell them that their children are unsafe alone and making it unsafe for others as well.

Otherwise, I see no problem telling these kids to cut the "you-know-what" around your child.  I would be very tactful and constructive with them, though.  12 yr olds turn when you least expect it... could make things worse (talk to the parents first).  

If this affects the whole complex, have the management say something to the parents.  If they want to live there, I would think they would try to control their offspring or at least monitor them better.

I have twin 7 yr old boys and their self-control level is not that high.  When older kids are around they can be 10x worse so, I get what you are dealing with.  Good luck

-- If the complex will not intervene nor allow you to do so there is always the police... based on the need for these kids' safety... if it's that bad.  It sounds really bizarre to me that your housing complex does not "allow" you to communicate with your neighbors.  You can talk to other tenants affected by these kids (if there are any) and band together to discuss it more with the management.  Good luck.

Answer 7

Why not take him to another bus stop, somewhere else along the bus route?   Perhaps there is a stop where other children wait that are closer to your son's age.

Answer 8

Are you not staying at the bus stop with your son while he waits for the bus?  If that's the case, you should be.  Then you can  sit with him an make it apparent to him that the behavior that they are exibiting is not acceptable to you should he pick these habits up. And who knows?  Maybe the older kids behavior will change seeing an adult at the stop with them??