School has changed my daughter?

Question

My daugher is 12 years old. She has been homeschooled all her life until this last year. She begged me to let her try school. I gave in and let her go. She has changed soooo much since she has been going to school. I have read some things she has written with bad swears in them, she says mean nasty things, Is not sweet like she used to be. My other daughter showed me that my 12 year old made a myspace account, and it says some horrible things on it. For her mood, she put "drunk" What can I do about this? I have never had to punish my children as they have always been very good. I am just so upset about all of this. She starts Middle School next school year!!! OMG!!!

Answer 1

try putting her to a very strict school,private school

or christian school

Answer 2

BRING HER BACK HOME,  NOW YOU SEE WHY PEOPLE DO HOMESCHOOL

Answer 3

12 is a rough year. I think you should let her stay in public school. She needs to learn how to adopt to interacting with her peers. Even though she is only 12 and you need to be 14 to have a MySpace account, you can monitor it. She may have a MySpace because she wants to interact with her friends. Setting up an AIM account is less dangerous than MySpace. Only people with her ScreenName can contact her and no pictures are available. She is probably cursing because all of her friends do and she thinks its cool. Just talk to her about it not being cool. You cannot control what happens at school, but you can control what happens outside of school. This is a crucial stage for her development and her being in school has a lot to do with that.

Answer 4

Ok, she is a teen and she is going through puberty too.  Now, as a parent you can block My Space from her computer and not let her use it.  My Space is a horrible place for young teens (although they will tell you differently).  You need to talk to her and find out what is going on with her.  She may be acting out because she was sheltered by home schooling for so long and just trying to fit in because regular school is a whole new world for her.  However, going to a regular school also comes with its benefits... it will help her learn to interact with peers better and also will help her matriculate into a college setting along with general society.  Either way, you need to sit down and talk with her honestly... she is a young adult and although you want to keep her sweet and inocent... she will make mistakes on her own.  Ask her why she put "drunk"... are you sure she means alcohol?  Could it be that she thinks she is drunk in love with some guy?  The only person who knows your daughter better than anyone else is your daughter... and she is the one with the answers.  I wish you the best of luck hun... >hug< because you need one.

Answer 5

I feel sorry for her. It has to be like culture shock to go from a family only environment to one where kids are allowed to express themselves freely. Not saying that you don't allow self expression in your home, but now she is able to see how other kids dress and act and maybe she feels there's something that she's really been missing out on. Plus she is at a very defiant age right now too. She's trying to figure out who she is, or who she wants to be and its likely a tough adjustment for her too. If you're concerned, talk to your daughter about it and let her know how you feel. Try to get an open conversation going on without getting upset. Maybe that will help you understand what's going on in her mind.

Also on the myspace account, you can have it deleted. She's not allowed on myspace until she's 14.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Just talk with her, and tell her MySpace is not OK. Block MySpace.

Also, kids do change, but this is a bit extreeme. Although she's going through puberty let her know, that swearing and saying nasty things is not OK.

Keep her in the school system, she'll resent you so much if you pull her out now. Talk to her calmly.

Also, kids can't stay our little babies for ever. They have to grow up eventually. And yes, that's hard on us parents, but it's something we have to do.

Try to find a school with a good reputation to send her to. DON'T do private school or a religon school. Everyone always thinks those places will work, but to be honest, there the ones with the drug dealers and stuff. Go with public schools.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Funny how people are so quick to shrug off red flag behavior by saying, "It's just puberty."

I would suggest that you have tried an experiment and have seen the results of the negative social environment of school.  Now that you are aware of the damage school does to kids, you have two choices...allow the school to continue to damage your child, or to homeschool her again.

Answer 8

That is what most 12 year olds are like in real school...maybe just talk to her about it..tell her you don't like it and that it is bothering you. I hope this helped.

-Tara

Answer 9

Sounds like you have a tight hold on her, and she's looking to find herself. I bet there are a ton of things that she is into but you have no clue what they are. And she is probably too scared to disappoint you and therefore hides her true self from you. Of course it can also be those raging hormones that are starting to come out.

Answer 10

School changes everyone.

Today's generation is getting worse and worse, since they all start dating/swearing earlier than expected.

Teach her the values/morals of life. My mom always told me that swearing is only the lowest form of communication there is in humanity; it demonstrates your lack of vocabulary. So I've never sworn in my life. 12-year olds are very self-conscious of their behaviour and their popularity, so that may be the reason that she has changed. Also, teach her that being drunk is not fun, it ruins your body and mind, and then she will not be popular and won't have friends anymore. The subject of friends is extremely important to 12-year-olds.

Answer 11

easy.home school her again.

My mom put my lil sis in private school thinking it would be better,but it turned my sister into this little stupid annoying  kid.she changed alot since she started school also,

Answer 12

Its not her, its her friends she chooses to hang out with. You need to talk to her and tell her what she is doing wrong, dont punish her just tell her. If she dosnt change then thats when you need to punish her. If she gets mad at you then you need to tell her that your just doing this to protect her and you want her to be safe.If you dont talk to her now, middle school will be way worst! you need to do something about this as soon as possible. Before she gets too extreme and starts doing very bad things with boys and maybe even girls! You need to talk to her as soon as possible.

Answer 13

Don't blame school for your daughter entering puberty.  It would have happened even if she was home schooled.  I guess you were a perfect angel when you went through puberty huh?  Or maybe you didn't go through puberty?  *snicker

Answer 14

I doubt it's just the school. Some of it is the age. It's like a switch is flipped and suddenly you have a monster instead of the sweet girl you knew. The switch doesn't get flipped again until age 21 or so.

And, she wanted to go to school at just about the time of the "mean girls" and the competition for popularity is really starting to heat up. Even girls who have been in school since kindergarten can be unprepared for the drama that comes with that age. Seriously, I don't know what would be better, to take her out and risk that she not learn necessary social skills or leave her in and risk worse behavior.

Answer 15

You can have the MySpace account deleted.  Contact them and tell them she's only 12 (you're suppose to be 14 to have an account).  Then you can block it along with any other site you want.    

Talk to your daughter about what is going on with her, honestly talk to her, not lecture.  I've said this before and got thumbs down, a teenage will always need you to be a parent, but sometimes, they need you to be a friend.

Answer 16

she sounds like a average 12 year old 2 me. they all try 2 act punk-y. and is she being disrepectful 2 u? is she failing school? is she actually drinking? shes not. and shes not having s*x at 12 so just relax, shes probably trying her hardest 2 fit in going from homeschooling 2 public school is a huge transition