Question:

School is about to start and I'm extremely shy, how can i become more social?

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

I'm about to be a sophomore, when I was a freshman I had planned to make more friends and be more social. Well that backfired and I became quieter than I had ever been.

Now sophomore year is about to start and I don't want the same thing to happen again. I mean, I have a horrible social fear, my heart pounds just thinking about school. How can I break out of my shell, be less afraid, and more confident?

 Tags:

   Report

22 ANSWERS


  1. Alright so I am the new girl and this is my second week of school. I'm trying to be funny and confident, haha. Anyway, I read this thing in a book [Don't Sweat The Small Stuff, and It's All Small Stuff by Richard Carlson] and one of the things it said was, '100 years from now, all new people', then I realized, in 100 years, not one person will care who I was friends with, if I had embarassing moment, heck, I'd be happy if they just remembered who I was! So that's when I realized, no one's going to remember the first time I chatted up that girl in my history class, or in my chem class, so this morning [after reading that yesterday] I just went up and just talked to her. I guess she's considered 'popular', but I really didn't care. What did I have to be afraid of? So I just started talking to her, just the who time remembering, in 100 years, or even maybe in two days, no one's going to remember this conversation, what do I have to lose? So just keep thinking that, and you'll be confident. No one will remember that I tripped, snorted when I laughed, didn't make the volleyball team, ect, so why not just try anyway?!

    By the way, that's just one of the 132234057 tips in that amazing book, so please read it, you won't regret it.


  2. Ok start by making small comments in all your classes. Make them funny. Everyone loves a sense of humor.

    Also, start making small talk conversation. Asking for a pencil or if you need help on a probelm.

    But the most effective one you can do is, luagh at people's jokes and carry on a conversation

  3. be yourself the best way to make friends is be yourself and be really fun amd exciting..thats what i do and it got me really far in school.....theres nothing to be afraid of

  4. I know how you feel, im shy.  Well im in drama and its wierd because i have no truble acting and talking in front of a crowd, but when it becomes a 1 on 1 conversation i dont have a script and i get nervous because i dont know what to say so i dont sound stupid.  But drama has made it better because i made friends and became more social.

    I suggest you find something you really like doing and it will be easier to talk to others who are interested in the same thing as you.  It also helps to not care what other people think and just be yourself, do not be someone your not.  

    Good luck breaking out of your shyness.

  5. get invole in anything at school...a book club...anything like that..cause then you will be around others...they will want to know you and you them.....

    its hard just coming up with something to just say to ppl.

    but listen and hear what ppl. talk about then throw in you 2 cents...and be cheerfull...ppl. love ppl. who smile and shine...never talk bad about anyone...with anyone...aways have ...theres a bright side to everyone...kinda  way bout you...ppl. will come around...good luck shug..

  6. Hey Michelle, it sounds like you experience social anxiety. I know exactly how you feel, because I have this condition too. I believe my social phobia was created from being shuned by others and worrying about what they think (a deadly combination -.-).

    Your friends and family may tell you to "just relax". But you and I know things aren't that simple, the mind is a complex subject. I have lived with social anxiety for a long time, in fear of people's opinions. I deal with it well, but I have had no luck in getting rid of the fear, only acting in spite of it.

    I guess the way to beat any phobia is to face your fears. If you want to become less shy, be courageous. Break yourself gently into situations were you feel slightly anxious and do this frequently. This has helped me slightly. It is easier said than done. Don't throw yourself into the deep end straight away though, this will only hinder your progress.

    Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is useful. In simple terms, it is therapy. I am sure other people will suggest counselling and you may shake it off at first, but it honestly does help (I saw a counsellor for two years and I was at my best then). Talking through your fears is a helpful way of putting things into perspective. It sorts out your mind much like a computer being defragmented.

    Remember that being shy is not at all, all bad. Shy people are sensitive people. I think that you are most likely a lovely person and you care about others. You are probably more tuned into your environment and pick up on what people say, about you and others.

    Its so much easier said than done, but if its possible, love yourself for who you are. You can only do your best. And if that is not enough for other people then %$%^ them!

    Bonne Chance.

  7. It all starts with self-confidence. You have to feel good about yourself and then talking to other peopel and making friends will be easier. i think you need to get a new haircut and buy flattering clothes. then you will know you look good. head up and shoulders back. walk confidently. strike up conversations with people . compliment them about their outfit. ask them what their schedule is to see if you have any other classes together.  

  8. Social Anxiety.  One out of 10 people have it.  It's very common and a pain in the tail. The good news is, you can control it and arrest it in most situations.  Mind you, you'll always have that meeting that you'll walk into biting your nails.  That's natural, you can expect that in life.

    As much as you think the problem is outside of you, the good news is the problem is inside of you where you can 'fix' it.  Rethinking how you think about yourself gives you the self confidence to face anxious situations and start making friends.  

    I hated hearing this when I was younger but 'you have to love yourself before you can love others'.  The truth to this is, who knows you more than yourself?  No one.  So, if you're always Ms/Mr "I'm not worthy", others will see it and believe you before you open your mouth to say 'hi'.  Change how you treat yourself, and they'll start asking 'who are you and where have you been?'.

    You can start here...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWJkbsGFt...

    ... and see what else is out there for 'self confidence' and behavior modification.  Remember, it's easy to do it now, rather than years from now.

    Good luck.  'Hope this helps

    T


  9. I was shy in school.  I finally firgured out that my shyness and fear came from my insecurity.  I constantly worried what people were thinking about me.  You will more than likely grow out of it.  I certainly did.  My only suggestion is to try not to care so much what other people think of you or your outfit or what you say.  I would just put yourself out there and express yourself they way you feel comfortable.  Join in more conversations going on around you.  Join as many groups or clubs as you can.   You can also try taking a class in drama or theater.  You will be forced to interact with people you don't know.

  10. Social Anxiety 'is nothing to shake a stick at'!

    I heartily recommend reading the following articles, & putting into practice the suggestions therein:

    Bringing Phobias Under Control

    - Tormented by Phobias

    - - When All Eyes Seem to Be Upon You

    - - - Controlling Social Phobia

    - - - - Watch Your Breathing!

    - - - - - When Fear Leads to Panic  http://watchtower.org/e/19980722/article...

    You Can Fight Pessimism! http://watchtower.org/e/20040422/article...

    How to Find Real Happiness

    - Think of Your Spiritual Needs

    - - Keep your Life Simple

    - - - Happiness and Self-Worth

    - - - - Hope--Vital to Happiness  http://watchtower.org/e/20010301/article...

  11. I have the same thing.

    But i say dont try and make your self something your not, your shy stick to that, youll meet a few friends compared to some that will meet hundreds, but them 1 or 2 friends will be better then the 100 =].

  12. join clubs and sports, not only will you meet friends you will have a better resume for college  

  13. Smoke a blunt with a couple beers before school and that should loosen your knickers a couple notches and make you more relaxed around people...

  14. Try getting into some clubs in school. Or get involved in things outside of school maybe join something outside of school like a gardening club or something you are interested in. I would really suggest to get involved in something in school like band or chorus. Maybe even doing dance outside of school! I hope I helped and good luck!!!!

  15. just join a club or sport or something that you enjoy and you'll meet other people who enjoy the same things. and be yourself quiet or loud their are other people out there to be with.

  16. Usually friends are made if you have a common intrests with them you could start by trying out/join school sports activities do some type of recreational activities etc. hope it works all the best  

  17. talk to people then u will be less afraid of them.That happened to me when I talked to girls I liked

  18. Yah i'm the same age as you and am kinda shy just try to take it one step at a time.  Find someone nice in your classes and just try to find something in common with them like the homework or something.  Start a conversation like saying do you get this, then you will eventually break out of your shell.  You have to challenge yourself and do the things that you are afraid of.  You will come out of it don't worry.  Just try to talk to people the worst thing that can happen is that they aren't nice.  Or you have nothing in common with them.  You just have to put in some effort and it will get easier and easier each time you talk to someone new ;]  Just relax ;]

  19. Weird. I'm a freshman right now and it's easy.

    I guess that all changes.

    Well good luck join some sports or clubs then you can have people to sit with lunch it's ALL A CHAIN REACTION. I found that out in the first week of school.

  20. there are actually classes for anti social behavior. you could take those. or if you just want to reach out a little more then i suggest you talk to a close friend and have them introduce you to people. that way you can meet new ppl but you dont have to approach them yourself

  21. if someone says hey say hey back then Bang you have a convo

  22. just be yourself and try to start conversation with ppl dont be afraid they arre not going to do anything they probably want to meet you too

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 22 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.