Scrap this idea for a poem?... a few lines so far? 10 points?

Question

Ok so poems take me ages coz I have to want to write them, and it's beyond 'rough', sounds better when I say it, but is the idea worth working on? I've only thought about two verses so far.. i know it doesnt rhyme properly, isn't punctuated properly and doesnt flow yet.. im 15 btw so be nice =P

Today was the death of nobody’s dog

A cross in black marker is stuck on his seven day

He just a stray, he can hope and pray log

Another tug on a leash that will never be tamed

A shaggy head lying lifeless, never to be named

But somewhere his puppy face sleeps in a paw printed frame

Today was the death of nobody’s dog

A hungry silence in the kennels misses his rough

No pedigree scruff, stay away bluff howls

His battered old paws that lie limp by his face

Once sped along grass and pawed for embrace

But his muddy paws in that kitchen have long been erased

Answer 1

Loved the idea.

Great ideas in there. And easy to attach images to your words.

Though it doesn't flow at certain parts.

Keep working on it, for sure! It's worth it.

Answer 2

I am glad to see that you know of the issues with this poem and I do not want to lead you through writing it because even as it is I can feel your emotion in it and that is what gives it merit. I would like to suggest that if your interested in writing you should check out helium .com it is very helpful and you would be an asset go ahead it's free you might even make some money for your efforts

Answer 3

I love your poem.  Yes, it is in rough stages of development.  It does however exhibit correct spelling, and structure.  It's wordy as well (you say much more than is needed) and I took the liberty of paring out the unnecessary wording.  This is how I read it ..............

Nobody's Dog

Today was the death of nobody's dog

a cross marks the spot where he lays

just another forgotten old stray

one could hope and pray

for another tug on a leash but

a shaggy head now lies lifeless, no name.

Today was the death of nobody's dog;

a hungry silence in the kennel

for another no-pedigree scruff.

His battered old paws lie limp by his face

paws that once raced through grass;

whose muddy paws on kitchen floors

were long ago erased.

This is a lovely poem, has depth of emotion and draws a picture with words.  You do have some bright promise as a writer I think.  Presentation of a poem is something we all learn along the way, (how to edit our work; take out excess wording) but being able to write one worth reading in the first place, well that is special.

There are lots of submission here at Yahoo Poetry that are nowhere near your potential.

Write On!!! and keep submitting.  

For 15 yrs. old, this is just a wonderful effort!!!