Seating arrangements... how to do them!?

Question

I am having a huge issue with getting together a seating arrangement.

The problem is this--- my guest list was only 40 people. My fiances was 100 people. Also, we have several different "Groups" of people- coworkers, neighbors, old friends, new friends, my family, his family.

It is a pretty casual wedding- outdoor park ceremony, BBQ buffet indoors, that sort of thing.

I wanted to NOT do arranged seating- just to let people sit where they are comfortable, and withi whom they are comfortable. Also, if someone sits with someone they wouldn't usually sit with, it would be great for guests to meet each other and mingle.

I am planning on having a game at the tables- I found these fabulous cards that ask questions about the bride & groom- "How long have you known them?" -- "How did you meet the bride & groom?"-- "What is your funniest memory of the bride & groom?"

I think that game would be a LOT more fun if people were sitting with people they didn't know all that well. Also, will people not come in and sit somewhere on their own, and the tables would fill up as people sit wherever they choose?? I am sure everyone would get along pretty well, there are no guests who do NOT like each other that we are aware of.

On the flip side, my M-I-L is insisting on a seating plan. That side of the family likes to sit together, and kind of stick to themselves, which is what I DONT want!

However, how do I go about making a seating plan? Just in case? The wedding is in 3 weeks!!

Answer 1

It's your wedding so don't have a seating plan if you don't want one. Even with one guests tend to table hop anyway. His side can sit together if that's what they want but let everyone else sit where they like.

Answer 2

I used www.weddingwire.com to do my seating plan.  You just enter in all your guests, create your tables, then you can move people around as you want and try different combinations.  I sound it helpful.  If she wants a seating plan, it may not be a bad idea because then you can intermingle people with those that they may not necessarily know, but that you know they may hit it off with.

Answer 3

Don't do a "just-in-case" seating plan - either have one or don't. If you don't want one, don't have one. Just tell MIL that the reception is casual and people can sit where they want, period. If her family all wants to sit together, they should arrive a few minutes early and claim their seats. This is one of those small but important things where you get to put your foot down, because it's what you want and it doesn't hurt anyone else:

"Susan, it's so nice of you to offer to help with the seating plan, but it really won't be necessary. Because the tables are so big and the reception so casual, everyone should be able to find a seat easily. And people can move around and switch places once the dancing starts."

Answer 4

Just leave it to open seating, but reserve tables for close family. If MIL wants to herd her family together, fine.

Answer 5

I just got married last weekend and we did what was suggested in another reply.  We had assigned seating for family and the rest were left open so people could sit wherever they wanted to and mingle.  We did mix the families a bit in our assigned seating as well though, i put some of my family with his so we didn't have tables strictly for "my side" and "his side".  I think by doing assigned seating for everyone and keeping the people separate you are saying that you don't want them to get to know eachother and you want to keep the sides apart.  After dinner and the traditional first dances everyone was up and dancing and moving around to different tables anyway so it didn't matter whether they were assigned or not.  I think the seating chart is just an added stress for you planning a wedding. Either you or your fiance need to let your future Mother in law know that this is your wedding and this is the way you prefer to do it.  Trust me, if you let them have their way on all of this just to not cause problems, it will turn into a nightmare. :-) Goodluck and congratulations.

Answer 6

Hi.  You can do it either way.  I live in a small town (with HUGE weddings) and no one ever does a seating chart here.  We just sit with whoever we want.  However, most wedding guests DO want to sit with people they know.  So....seating charts ARE nice.

You answered your own question basically.  Put the people that know each other together the best you can.

~ Co-workers together

~ Neighbors together

~ Old friends together

Put his family together the best you can and your family together the best you can.

It's really not that hard.

Answer 7

I prefer seating plans and had them at my wedding, only because I have seen 4 people sitting alone at a table that was meant for 10, and certain friends sticking together, ignoring everybody else. If you decide to do seating plans, you may want to put your coworkers together, and the "MIL"'s family at one table, etc/etc/ you will be able to come up with an arrangement, depending on how many people can fit at one table. It really isn't that difficult, you just have to know the people that you've invited, and where you think they would go best with. We had no problems with ours.  

Answer 8

It's up to you, don't pay attention to what you MIL wants!

If you want to do it though, you better get started. Mix people that don't know each other, but not totally. Like sit 3 coworkers that know each other with 3 friends. That way they aren't totally alone or something!

Answer 9

First, unless your MIL is footing the bill, she doesn't get to decide what you do.  

Secondly, why not have just a FEW reserved tables, you know...for moms, dads, siblings...people of "honor".

I don't think with 140 people you should do a seating chart...especially since it's so casual.  Just reserve the couple tables and let that be it.

Stand your ground!