Security precautions for my new baby?

Question

I wanna let him sleep inside but my wife thinks he's dirty. Now, fact is.. I'm dirty if you know what I mean... but anyway, he gets to sleep in the garage. I don't wanna chain him to anything so I kind of wedge him between the wall and the car and fitted a movement sensor in there to the house alarm so he can't move.

What else can I do?

Answer 1

Well, your baby won't grow up to be one of those spoiled whiners with their constant 'feed me' and 'clothe me'. He'll learn to hunt from stray cats and make his own clothes out of mousefur.

Answer 2

Some peoples answers can be a pain.

Scorpio makes a good alarm, and isn't that hard to install.

Answer 3

Go to your local bank and find out who put in their vault (safe).

Contact that company and have a vault installed at your house. 5 foot thick reinforced concrete walls, 5 foot reinforced roof, 4 ton door with 12 number combination lock with fingerprint and retina scanner should do the trick.

Your paranoia is hanging out all over!

Answer 4

Get some motor oil and rub the taillights in a circular motion while humming Grease 1 [not Grease 2!]songs.

Did you check the ends? Are they fitted properly?

Did you ever consider he might *like* being chained? =P