Seeing Fiancee First Time Since "Break" Started

Question

Tonight I have to go and pick up my Fiancee from work and it is going to be the first time that I will see her since she said she wanted space and needed time to think things through. She told me this last Saturday.

One of her friends were talking to her during the week and told her that I had taken my ring off as well and that upset her greatly. Also, the thought of me taking back her engagement ring makes her extremely upset.

I understand that she may just be stressed about this new job of hers and she is feeling guilty because she feels an attraction to her co-worker. I respect the fact that she wants a break and time to think. But the problem is that we live together so we will be together tonight, tomorrow and Sunday morning.

I dont know if we should talk about the situation or if I should just ignore the whole thing unless she brings it up. Because the last thing I want to do is pressure her into making a decision before she is ready to.

I am just so confused and I really dont want to s***w things up to get her back becasue she is so wonderful! Please help.

Answer 1

If she needs space, then give her space.  Don't pressure her by taking rings back or asking her questions about it.  She needs time to think and figure out what she wants.  Nothing good can come from trying to talk to her about it now, she will just feel pressured and she may leave altogether or decide to stay and marry you when it isn't what she wants.  Neither are good.  Just let her be alone and respect her wishes, it hasn't been very long.

Answer 2

sounds like she wants her cake and to eat it too.  if she wants a break, let her find her own way home after work.  why do you have to pick her up?  and if she wants a break you shouldnt still be living together.  if your taking a break then why shouldnt you take your ring off?  and if she wants a break then if you decide to get back together you should not be engaged right away so why shouldnt you take her ring back?  its like she wants to break, but to be engaged at the same time.  Stress from a new job is a sorry excuse to just break things off.  Stress is something you deal with together and you work through together.  Running away like she did from a problem is only a small vision of what will come when married.  and if she is attracted to her co-worked, but has you hanging on like a puppy dog.  sorry but she doesnt sound so wonderful.  I think during this break you really need to think hard about the relationship and where it is headed because it doesnt sound like she knows what she wants at all and if she is questioning whether she wants you, she is no where near ready for a commited relationship.

Answer 3

If she needs space then you give it to her.  You do need to talk to her about how the living arrangements are going to work while she takes her space.  Also you will need to discuss the terms of the break.  What is the purpose of the break and how long should the break last before you determine that it needs to go on longer or become permanent.  If you've merged finances you need to decide if the finances need to be separated during the break.

if you decide that you need to live apart during this break then if neither of you own the place you are living in then she should be the one to move out since she's the one who wants the break.

I know that this is all unpleasant but it's best to sort through this now rather than have her marry you only to divorce soon after.

hope things turn out like you want.  Good Luck.