Seeking spiritual wisdom for my situation for I can't see the lesson in this?

Question

When I was in school I was harshly rejected by the guys so I knew I was undesirable as a female. In my 20s I got involved with a mentally abusive womanizer and it took me a while to get him out of my system but I did kick him to the curb. I'm now 31-never had a boyfriend and STILL feel undesirable. I would love to get married. One of my best friends is married and she has a deformed arm and he treats her like a queen!!!! (SHE VERY MUCH DESERVES IT TOO) I don't see the lesson in learning guys would deem me as not good enough, meeting a guy that showed me Im not good enough, then a long, continuous period of NO ONE coming to LOVE me. I have grown as a person, love myself A LOT more than I used to but others that don't work on themselves in the least are married or at least have a very active dating life. WHAT IS THE LESSON IN THIS???

Answer 1

first of all you keep saying you feel undesirable, left and right.  Before you can truly say you love yourself you need to get rid of all these negative emotions about yourself.  In other words I believe you are still hiding your true self from others.  Once you open up completely someone will come, trust me.

Answer 2

No lesson.  Life happens.  Adjust.  Stop thinking about guys, marriage and stuff and live every day as if were the last one.  Find meaning in your life and do something worthwile for yourself

Answer 3

Youre working to hard to forcibly make someone to love you.

If they truly love you, they'll treat you like a great person.  

Answer 4

See like you there are a lot of people who would like to be loved n to be married to a guy whom they can trust and just live their life happily ever after. So its not just you who is living such life.

Now it is difficult to say what you look like. In normal scenario there are always people who want to love a man or woman, ignoring their appearance. I've seen girls getting married to absolutely ugly(looking) guys, to guys who had a horrible living style and who did nothng in their life but bother others. You have accustomed to a situation where you feeel you are undesirable and nobody wants a piece of you. See it is because you never try to flirt around with a guy nor you give a chance to guys around to come n flirt with you at times. You sort of become reserved to guys and most of them dont like someone who likes herself but them.

It is good to like yourself , that is always good as it is a sign of your confidence but there is always a chance of someone else who can boost your confidence by saying, hey you did a good job there, or hey u are pretty good at it..etc.

Now the lesson from it is that when others around you are getting married why cant you just make yourself open to reach. Sometimes we just close ourselves and expect the others to do something to make us realise that we need to open up a bit...by the time we realise it , its just too late. So free urself , start going out and try n like people who wanna get close to you, beware of those who wanna come near you only for sexual favours but yeah give chance to people to love u, to be with u and yeah to listen to you...it helps a lot.

Like we have this saying, who doesnt help himself/herself...even god doesnt help them.

Hope you get my point...so cheer up and stop thinking like ur undesirable....become a desirable by doing things which will bring you in limelight...

You can start with a smile................::)

Answer 5

The bible says to be content in the way it is. Contentment brings peace and freedom. Most times when you are content things happen. So be happy the way you are and one day you will be surprised. Live everyday as best as you can Most people meet their mate in an every day situation. like going to work, eating at a restaurant, going to a class. while you are busy doing what you do someone will show up don't give up just be happy they way it is. You could get a book on how couples met.  

Answer 6

Sounds to me that you had to learn a different definition of love. Not the type of love found from a B.F. or husband, but the love within yourself

Answer 7

i can help you!

although i was married once...what a mistake...but anyways...since the end of that marriage...i have never been able to get into and stay into a relationship and actually get married again.

i have been proposed to...three times...but it never happens!

i finally figured out why.....

im the type of person that if im in a relationship....i put 110% into it!

well heres the problem with that....

if im putting that much time and effort into my honey-dew...then how much time am i putting into Jesus?!

that was the problem...i wasnt putting any time in for Him!

Sometimes Jesus doesnt want to share you with anyone else!

he wants you to love Him with all your heart...all your soul...all your mind....and all your strength!

thats exactly what im doing now....no more relationships for me....strictly Jesus!

and you wanna know something.....ive never been happier!!!

Good luck girl......i hope you figure it out!

God Bless You!

with love....."D"

Answer 8

There is no answer. Beauty is only skin deep and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

It is your personality not your high school rejections that will attract another person. To be with someone means you have to be someone first. Look for someone you are attracted and work your way from there.

Answer: You are not the problem, the inner you is.

Answer 9

Sweatheart, the lesson isn't that you aren't good enough for them, they aren't good enough for YOU!!!  Those others that don't work on themselves are settling for the first guy that shows interest.  You need to work on your self esteem though. I was a dating "addict" if you will. I just wouldn't settle.  Try online services. I finally met my husband when I was 32 on Match.com.  We only lived 6 blocks away from each other on the same street. My point is, be patient, God has a plan for you..

Answer 10

the lesson is that you are ugly and delusional.  no one wants you. get over it