Seems like since my boyfriend has become serious about quitting smoking his buds try to break us up?

Question

I used to complain all te time about how much he drank and his smoking (he didn't smoke when we met. He started over a year later.) He finally go treally sick and then we had a serious discussion. My boyfriend suddenly seems more caring towards me, decided to quit smoking and cut back on the drinking- I think more for himself than for me. His friends see it as I am influencing it all. He is also trying to spend more time with me. It seems his friends are seeing all these changes and they are suddenly bad mouthing me behind my back saying he can find someone prettier and all this and that and seem disrespectful to his decisions to quit smoking and drinking. His friend would blow smoke in his face and hand him beers and tell me 'come on it's the weekend we are partying.' He also shows up unexpectly all the time. What do you think? How do I handle all this?

Answer 1

They are haters. Be lucky that he is wising up

Answer 2

So what if you are influencing it all.  A good infuence is not something to be ashamed about.  When they do this stupid stuff, just say "let's go"  Hopefully he will follow.  He sounds like someone who is questioning what he wants to do.  That is not a bad thing.  Friends that blow smoke in his face are not friends.  Maybe you could try to do more fun things that disclude these losers.  Now is better than later.  This does not make you a not fun girlfriend.  But for now maybe you should try to put together some really fun outings that don't include drinking, smoking or any other things that bring people into...well a different part of life.  Make some fun day trips that are exciting.  I don't know where you are, but if you could go boating, hiking, cycling, museums, just things that don't revolve around partying he/ you both could get out of this nothing cycle.

Answer 3

sounds like the friend is insecure and afraid of losing his friend to you.  Have a heart to heart talk with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel about it and what you see.

Answer 4

The partying gets old after awhile.  He's finally growing up and seeing where his best shot at happiness is.  He'll probably drift away from those friends now, and you shouldn't make an issue of it.  Let him do so at his own pace.