Selective Mutism or Shy?

Question

I saw a segment on 20/20 about selective mutism and it was like looking at my son. How do you know if that is their issue or if they are just shy? It takes a little while for him to warm up in situations and then he could be ok. If he has a open repetoire with someone (like special help in school) he will be fun and outgoing with them but once he doesn't have that interaction he clams right back up when he sees them. He had the lead in a small school play a couple years back and he was awesome and he is alot of fun in public if he doesn't think he is being watched, otherwise it's like his body is taped to a board. Is it SM or Shyness?

Answer 1

He's shy obviously. I really wish 20/20 would stop encouraging disorders in children .

Answer 2

Well since he isn't MUTE then it isn't selective mutism. Did you even really watch the show? Those kids wouldn't say anything to anyone in public they wouldn't say hello and wouldn't say a word to anyone in school. "Taking a little while to warm up" is shyness. Leave him be.

Answer 3

Shy, don't take all the alarmist programs out there so seriously, they have a new disorder every week and they are ALL for ratings.

Answer 4

If he warms up and can talk (even a little) eventually, he isn't selectively mute.  My daughter had selective mutism and spent two years at preschool not saying a single word even if she was hurt or needed to use the bathroom or something (even though she was chatty as anything as soon as she crossed over the school threshold).

[as for the "let your kids be normal" -- well, she wasn't; she was miserable and needed help.  i'm not big on labels and i wasn't looking for a trendy diagnosis.  i was looking for help for a kid who wouldn't tell someone she was bleeding and whose teachers thought she was autistic or severely language delayed when in fact she was totally normal and academically ahead of herself.  no need to be rude those who really need help when trying to reassure those who don't.]