Self esteem has been low sense I was a teen(im now 26) and each year it gets worst and I getting more scared?

Question

I am a women that does not like me getting close to me nor do I like being in a room for a long time alone with a guy.... nor do I like being touch or message by either guys nor girls... Im not homosexual and I like men... I just dont like it... it feels weird...I have alot of male friends but they treat me like a dude... like friend... who is a girl... they rarely touch me.... I think it because I was abuse as a child but that should be out of my mind by now... or it could be the lack of having my father around.

Also I have a problem with looking people in the eye.... they say people who dont look opthers in the eye you shouldnt trust them... But im not a liar nor a cheater and i am friendly but when people are talking to me its like I cant look at them... I think my eyes are cross eyed or something and I dont look at them...its a habit now... Im in grad school and today my professor was talking to me and only me and my eyes looked at her for a minute and that was it I started to look away.... my esteem suck... for me to be in my 20s... I have degrees and everything but my esteem needs working... when I dont look at people in the eye and look down I know they are thinking..."is this girl stupid or something" and people say its unnatural to not want to be touched

Answer 1

Hi there, I have a website that deals with this kind of stuff, you might find it of use.  If not there are some good links there.

http://www.dream-life-coaching.com

good luck

Answer 2

everyone has skeletons in their closet. i think it is a matter of how you make a decision to not let those skeletons affect you. past is past. you dont have to dwell on it and punish yourself. even the most successful people in the world have insecurities. i would suggest for you to take the leap and face your fears. you would never know what is on the other side if you will not try.

confidence is key. start with yourself. do things that would make you feel better. accept that you are one of a kind and love yourself. soon, people will follow your lead.

Answer 3

i dont know if this helps, but, your not alone. you sound like a nice person. you should probably talk to a therapist to try and discover whats going on with the not wanting to be touched thing. your grad school will give you access to doctors who can help. its pretty shiek to be in therapy in grad school so dont feel like its unusual to seek out help.

Answer 4

It's very obvious that the abuse has not left you. That has to be it. I think you need to just face your fears and look people in the eye, and realize you're not worthless, you articulate and smart, and people have no right to look down on you, if that's what you're thinking. You might want to talk to a therapist about, though, if it's like physically paralyzing to you. Geez, when will people learn that you can't get away with abusing children? There are always repercussions, and it is not your fault. I feel for you, really.  I don't know what else to tell you, but you have to face your fear and realize this is not going to kill you or hurt you, and just get rid of shame and embarrassment. They are meaningless emotions for you in this case, and their warnings are completely false. So, just ignore these emotions, and no matter how much you blunder socially when you're alone with someone it's alright. You just move on, and don't dwell on the past.

Answer 5

Try to discover yourself! :)  Every person is indeed special, so find out your positive qualities.  Then, look at your negative qualtities like everyone has.  The more you focus on your values, talents, etc. you will be able to identify yourself who knows what she wants in life.  Also religious guidance is a great help as well.