Self harm over ex.....?

Question

Im only 15 and im just getting over my first love. Im still completely devastated by the split even though it was 2 months ago now. I saw a picture of him kissing his new gf and completely flipped and started shaking and resorted to cutting myself. ive done this in the past but this was much more severe, i dont know how to get over him, or what to do?? Im just looking for any advice for this kind of thing.

Answer 1

Okay..I have been there before.. I use to cut a lot. Daily in fact, it was hard to hide in the summer on 90 degree days from my parents by wearing long sleeve t-shirts all the time.

Now, this is no offense to you, but this is what I have learned. I am 23 and am in the first real relationship where love is real to me. When I was your age I was in relationships, and I felt like I was really in love, which at that time to what I knew about love, I was. But as you age, you will find other people, and then you will find someone who will literally take your breath away. I have learned what love truly is now, then I ever did before.

No boy, girl of anyone is worth cutting over. By you doing this, you are letting someone who hurt you once before, hurt you again. Be the better person, and instead of cutting say, yeah this sucks, but apparently they are happy now. You will find someone else. And they will be someone who loves you for you, takes care of you and is perfect in your eyes. Relationships in your age bracket very rarely last, which is a joyous thing because as you grow and mature, you find people who can actually act your age. Good luck with this, be safe. Your body doesn't deserve to be injured over a guy like that.

Answer 2

self harm is indicative of other problems.

it's not just about being hurt over an ex. it's about feeling like you have no other way to cope. the best i can tell you is work on it now. get a good therapist with understanding of self harm. you start now and the longer you do it, the harder it is to stop. it's not something you want to carry into your adult life. i promise that. and it gets worse the longer you do it. there's a great website buslist.org that is devoted to self harm support. it's got a ton of resources too.

Answer 3

See self harm, and depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris  in sections 16, and 2, particularly 2L. Contact the hotlines when needed. Firmly resolve now to stop thinking about him, and use the negative thought reprogramming technique, on page 2, and/or page 2L, ezy-build. It may be advisable to avoid places and things which remind you of this for a while, as the emotional scar tissue forms.

Make yourself exercise, and go out, even if you don't enjoy it, at first: it will provide one way of stopping you from thinking about your present life situation. Understand that memories fade, with the passing of time, and ask yourself where you will be in 5 years time, and 10.

Most people go through similar things, though not to the same extent, and it's common for many relationships to begin, and end, especially when younger. It's a good idea to only emotionally invest in a relationship, according to its length of time, and the degree of commitment from BOTH of the people involved.

Express your feelings in a letter, and either post it, unaddressed, or have a ceremony, and burn it in a metal container, and flush the ashes down the toilet, symbolically severing the relationship, which has zero potential for anything, except causing you further distress. Give time a chance to heal, then open yourself to the possibility of a relationship with someone new.

RELATIONSHIPS: go to http://www.relationshipweb.com and http://www.relationship-affairs.com/your...                                                                and http://www.relationshiptalk.net/forums/  and BOARDS, at http://www.mental-health-today.com/ptsd/... and http://www.kasamba.com/ may be worth a look as well.  

Answer 4

no boy is worth cutting yourself over. none. especially if he hurt you like that. it took me one h**l of a long time to get over a guy. i found the best way was to just stop talking to him, and eventually i stopped caring. i know that sounds bad, but its so much better for you. wether you believe it or not a boy that is ten times better is going to come along and you will wonder why it even took you so long to get over the other one. it hurts so much to see someone you care about doing things with someone else. i've been in both the situations you are. i know how frustrating it is. but its definately not worth it to cut yourself over. in the long run, you will regret it.

Answer 5

Best advice I can say is talk to someone, parents or some kind of therapist. They can help you out a lot. Think of other people that are hurt/dieing/dead in other countries or even our own for more unfortunate reasons. Some of them are in situations they can not control. Don't let this get you down however just try to take what you can from it and turn it into a positive experience knowing that a lot of people have different (sometimes way better) qualities of lives than others.

Answer 6

ya know this cutting thing is fairly new. i have a hard time believeing that kids before 20 years ago couldnt cope without slicing themselves.

you need to talk to someone about the hurt you feel. its normal at this age to feel overwhelemed by emotions. trust me as you get alittle older its not so all encompassing. your paretns a friend or a school counseller can all be a sympatetic ear and may have some good advice for you in your situation cause they know you better.

trust me there are more guys out there. and once you get over this guy you wil lbe better for the next guy

Answer 7

You need to find someone else ASAP. It's the best way.