Selling unused children's toys- How would you respond if you realized your gifts were being sold?

Question

Yesterday, my mother found out from the grandchildren that my sister sometimes sells their toys she gives them as gifts. We always knew she did this, but assumed that she sold them after they grew out of them. Now we know that she sells them before they even get them out of the package. The toy really concerns myself and my mother is a digital art studio that my mother got for the 5 year old for Christmas. It was rather expensive and my mother asked my sister before she bought it, if it was O.K to buy for him. My mother even asked a month ago if he like it. My sister told her that they hadn't installed it and didn't mention that it was already sold. They don't have a lot of money, but we know that they can afford a time share so I don't think the money was necessary for groceries etc.

I think that my mother should talk to my sister about it, but she is too upset. Then I think the children should receive modest presents and then any extra money should go into their college fund or a fund to send them to summer camp.

This concerns me too, since I don't want my presents being sold on EBAY either.

Is is as rude as we think to sell toys that are unused? If so how would you respond?

Answer 1

I would be mad cause this is money and love you are investing into your nephews and your sister is taking that away from them...either buy them small gifts or make sure to open the gifts and wrap them and then give them to the kids....throw the packages away at home and just give the GIFT to the kids...how sad! I could never do that to my kids!

Answer 2

well if your sister just gets too many toys, such that the kids cant/dont play with them all or she doesn't have room is is reasonable to sell them... but it would be better if she explained this to 'gift givers' and let them decide to gift cash or something... maybe she didn't do this because she felt awkward, like she was refusing gifts... i think someone should have a talk with her... if your mom is too upset perhaps you should

Answer 3

That's awful! I might be more understanding if it was just one unwanted gift, but to know that she said her children would like the toys and then to sell them is just downright low.  

Answer 4

honestly- I'd stop buying her kids things and tell her why.  I know that sounds harsh, but her priorities sound a little out of whack- honestly, if she were using the money to buy something else for her kids AFTER they had outgrown the toy it would be a different story- sounds like she's scamming you.

Answer 5

Tell mom to buy them clothes and put the rest in an account where your sister has no control over a trustee account do it as a beneficiary and put an age on it like 21.

I would ask your sister if she is having financial difficulty because there is a recession in this country right now.

Answer 6

I think it's rude and mean of your sister to sell her kids' gifts! I unnderstand that once you give a gift it is theirs to do with as they wish, but that said, they aren't her gifts and it's awful that your sister is taking the kids toys and just selling them for the money! Any ideas on who's getting the cash? Because if it's the kids' toys, the kids should get the money! I would have a talk with her and find out in a non-judgmental way, why she is continually selling the gifts. Maybe there's something you don't know about or maybe she's just being rude. I definitely wouldn't continue to give gifts to kids who aren't even going to have the pleasure of playing with them. I think what I would do, if you live close enough, is take each child onn a special outing as their gift, like to lunch and a movie or mini golf, something along those lines. If they are out of the area, I think I would put money in their college fund or something that sis can't touch until they are old enough to send them something on their own, like the teen years.

Answer 7

I think it it is extremely rude! I would stop buying presents for them and instead give them "coupons" that the children can bring to you for days at the zoo or special lunch dates etc...How do the children feel about receiving presents that they aren't allowed to play with? Someone should have a talk with her about this!

Answer 8

It's a gift... so once it leaves your hands, it's theirs to do with as they please.  

It sounds like what your mom is giving to the kids is not really gifts - she's looking for some type of acknowledgment.... if I was your mom, I would continue to give the nice gifts - but these will be "special" gifts that say at grandma's house to use when visiting.

Answer 9

Start a fund for the kids that she doesn't have access to. It is sad for the kids, but they aren't getting the toys anyway so at least if you have money set a side for them they will have it when they need it. They will be able to use it later for college, a car, etc. Or buy them savings bonds and put a copy in a card so they will know they have it and then keep it until they are older. You can't really do anything about what she has already sold, but it would p**s me off. I would let her know why her kids won't be getting any toys from you though, but there is no use ruining your relationship over it.  

Answer 10

That's pretty s.hitty.

I would tell her you know. I would tell her you don't appreciate being lied to. And I would set up that college fund, and guess it's too bad the kids won't have toys because of her.

Gift cards are out, she;d use them on herself too.

Answer 11

There's different ways of looking at this.  Mom can look at this as financially helping out her daughter and her family without actually giving them money IF the toys she is selling are ones the kids don't acutually want.  Yes, it is rude but really, it the daughter needs the money and the mom wants to help but doesn't like to give cash what's the big deal?  Maybe your sister is embarrassed that they need money and she just uses ebay as a source of income for the family.  I don't think it's that bad, at least she isn't begging for handouts.

Answer 12

If I were you, I would go this year without buying them anything. And, if your sister wonders why, say "Well, hey, it would have been sold anyways, so they wouldn't get to enjoy it. What's the point?"

You need to be harsh.

It needs to stop.

Answer 13

I think this is terribly rude! Money does not grow on trees, and that studio is quite expensive! Gifts are gifts, and too me should not be sold....... If its something she didn't want for her child, then she should have ask your mum for the receipt and exchanged it for something else, not use her children's gifts for money for herself. That very selfish!

Id defiantly talk to your sister!