Question:

Semi-poem your thoughts please =)?

by  |  earlier

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hi i just wanted to hear what you guys think of one of the poems I've recently written while i was bored. PLEASE no ***-hattery here i don't really need it. I know that the punctuations in my grammar are pretty much non existent so please don't comment on that just look at the words and tell me if you feel them or not..

please be honest just not too brutal aha =P

here goes nothing..

the title is I Don't:

i don't understand you

maybe i never will

why were you never there

you've failed to notice

all the things inside me

hurt for you

you're attention

but why was it me that was affected..

by you being selfish

you only care about yourself

you always will

now that you've gotten so sick so quickly you want me to be there

cause you know you're all alone

i can't do that and get attached again

don't you understand what it does to me?

you're too blind to see

the only one you're hurting is me

maybe i should be there

i don't know when your final days are

i don't even know if your still here

i hope and pray before the day comes you'll see

ALL that you've done to me

my inside's will never purely become what they once were

I've rotted from the inside out

without you there to see

you didn't even call me

you came once when i was sick yet

you blew me off for a business trip

I've lost a lot yet you don't seem to care

the empty promises don't go unnoticed

the tone of you're voice says it all to me

don't lay it out

you don't have to say it

if you don't want it don't have it

but think again when you want me by your bedside

so i can ease your pain

you've never done anything for me

so don't expect warm hugs and all the attention

when it all goes to **** you only have yourself to mention.

anyway here it is

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  1. It has a lot of emotion in it, but it doesn't take that long to get to the point instead of listing all the things they did wrong or didnt do, and it gets a little confusing, sort of like a rant, but you definitely have the emotion for a really good poem.  

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