Question:

Sepation Anxiety?? PLEASE HELP!!?

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

First of all, thanks for opening my question and hopefully someone will be able to help this problem with my son. This has just started to happen a couple of months ago and it's driving me up the wall.

Ok, I have a 3 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. I am a stay at home mother and have been since my son was 8 mths. old. (my mother kept him up until then) But please understand, when I tell you I'm a stay at home mom, I do just that most of the time.. stay home. We live off of 1 income and my husband works 7 days a week for us to so say "make it." And I don't know about anyone else but, when and if I get on the road, I spend money somewhere. lol.. gas, food, drinks, etc. Well, it's just not in our budget to be able to do that much. So, needless to say, most of the time, it is just us 3 together all the time and at home most of that time. My son has a memory that blows both my husband and I away. And he is very intelligent for his age. And at times (mostly if we are around a group of people or even if we are around 4 people but he only knows 3 of those, he will shy off and get away) My husband is also like this around people he does not know. I plan on putting him in pre-school next year to help him with this problem but until then, I need to slowly help him with his social skills. Anyway, last night my parents told him that they were going to take him with them today to go around town. So right away, he said he wasn't going he was staying home with mama. (they wanted to do this b/c they too see the problem we are having with him) I told myself, no matter how big of a fit he pitches, I'd make him go. Well, this morning, when they were ready for him, he would not hear of it and ran to his room while crying and he went hide. My dad tried for probably 15 minutes to practically bribe him to go. All my son kept saying was "I want mommy to come." I explained they didn't have enough room for his sissy and I and we'd be here when they returned. And too, if I would have went, they would have not taught him a thing right? The whole point was to have him get away from the house, myself, and just getting him out. I even thought about going but, I told myself tha would just be stupid. lol.. So, he was crying b/c he didn't want to go by himself but also crying b/c he actually WAS WANTING TO GO but, I wouldn't go with him. So, of course, he is still home with me and keeps saying "Mommy, I just wanted you to come with me." I tried talking to him about it. "Are you scared?" "What makes you scared to go?" etc. And from what I'm getting, I truly think he is afraid of not returning. Kind of like when you drop a child off at daycare, they don't totally trust the fact that you will be back to pick them up everyday!! I'm really just scared for him and it breaks my heart to see him go through this. I know this is long and I'm sorry but I wanted to make sure I stated all of the correct points. So, my question?? Is this normal for his age, for the situation (me staying at home with them) and mainly, is it just a phase or not? Has anyone else had to deal with this and if so, what to do to make him understand that he will return to me and his house and it's ok to go without me? I really appreciate you reading this short story and in advance, thanks for any and all possible solutions. I will take anything into consideration. Also, I will be talking to his pediatrician about this too. Again, thanks

 Tags:

   Report

1 ANSWERS


  1. This is perfectly normal, especially since you guys are home most of the time. My son screamed bloody murder when he started nursery school last year when he was 2 1/2. The teachers kept telling me to stay with him at school. I fought the idea at first, especially since I was also managing my infant, but they told me to stick with it and after 6 weeks (2 mornings per week) he was ready to do it on his own and he had a great rest of the year.

    I really do think you need to get out of your house a bit more, although I know it's a struggle financially. I would start by looking for some sort of a moms' group, maybe at a local church. There are Mommy and Me programs that you guys can do together (should be free) to get him used to being around other kids and moms. Some churches or community centers also offer "Moms Day Out" programs where you can leave your little one for a couple of hours once a week.  You might have to go and stay with him for the first few times, but he'll get the hang of it.

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 1 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.