Serious Life Question.?

Question

I'm 15 and going to be a Sophomore in High School, yet I'm very mature for my age. My problem is that I really, really want a child. I feel that I could handle one emotionally and physically, and my parents would and could help me out financially. The thing is, I always wanted to go to college and become a teacher, but now, I just kind of want to have a baby, finish high school, and get on with my life. Some recent events have made me feel this way and I'm not sure if I'll change my mind =/ I just don't want to s***w up big time, but I'm ready, and I'm just. . . confused. Help me, please.

Answer 1

Okay girl here it is straight up. I had just turned 17 and I was in the same mentality you are. I wanted to have a baby so bad. I couldn't explain why. Me and my boyfriend were together for about 5 months when we tried to have a baby. And so we did. I was a senior in High School and it was probably the worst decision i couldve made at the time. I had to leave school in jan. and it was SO hard not to be able to go to prom or graduation. Having a baby at 18 was really hard. I'm not just saying it. you think you are ready but you never really know until its too late. Yes there are things that can help you out financially but you want to be able to support your baby on your own and at 15 there's really no way to be able to do that. I always thought i was going to go off to college and be a doctor. Now my daughter is 3 months old, I finally got my diploma, and I'm enrolling in on line classes. I don't regret having her but everyday i wonder how my life would be if we had not chose this path. I am begging out, you are only 15 you still have 2 years in high school.Pleasee just wait. Even if its just until you are out of high school. Please just graduate. And make your life great so when you are READY you can bring a baby into the world and be set.

Good Luck Girll.  

Answer 2

I  know  this  is  something  you  really  want,  but  life  isn't  about  getting  something  you  really  want  right  when  you  want  it . A  mature  person  might  put  what  he /  she  really  wants  on  the  back  burner  for  a  few  years . There  are  a  lot  of  situations  where  a  teenage  girl  gets  pregnant  and  her  parents  agreed  to  help  out  financially .  It's  nice  when  they  do  that,  but  it's  childish  and  irresponsible  to  say  "I'm  going  to  have  a baby  and  let  my  parents  pay  for  it  !" .  Parenting  isn't  about  having  money,  but  the  things  babies  need  cost  money . An  adult  has  the  right  to  live  on  very  little  money,  but  when  there's  a  baby  or  a  child  involved,  that  adult  needs  plenty  of  money,  and  he  needs  it  it  fast  .   Do  you  really  think  this  is  a  good  time  to  have  a  baby  ?  You  should  ask  yourself  "Why  is  this  a  good  time  to  have  a  baby ?"  and  "Why  don't  I  wait  until I  get  through  with  my  education  and  get  married  ?"   We've  all  heard  about  the  group  of  teenage  girls  in  Massachusetts  who  decided  to  go  out  an  get  pregnant,  but  that's  messed  up  on  so  many  levels  . What  if  your  child  was  ashamed  and  embarrassed  because  his  mother  was  sixteen  years  old  and  single  when  he  was  born  ?  Many  years  ago,  I  asked  myself  "Do  you  think  it's  fair  to  have  a  baby  when  you're  young  and  single  and  don't  have  the  money  to  take  care  of  it ?" . I  had  to  answer  "No !" .  Then  I  asked  myself  "Then  why  should  you  have  a  baby  when  you're  young  and  single  and  don't  have  the  money  to  take  care  of  it ?" .  I  once  read  about  somebody  who  thought  he  might  want  a  tattoo  .  He  thought  about  it  for  seven  years .  Having  a  baby  is  a  lot  more  serious  than  having  a  tattoo  .  You  should  talk  to  a  few  adults  you  trust  and  see  what  they  say  .  Talk  to  one  or  two  of  your  teachers .  You  can  always  have  a  baby  later,  bnut  once  you  have  that  baby,  there's  NO  going  back  .

Answer 3

'getting on with your life' takes on a whole new meaning after you have a child.  it's not your life anymore.  you have one primary responsiblity, and that is to raise your child to become a responsible adult.  

if you are asking this question as a sophomore, you aren't even a responsible adult.  don't make this mistake.  it's not one you will EVER be able to take back.

Answer 4

WAIT UNTIL YOUR MARRIED. AND WAIT FOR THAT UNTIL YOUR 20!

Answer 5

no. because at the age of 20 your going to want to have fun and your gonna make the child suffer

ive seen many cases like this.end the child ends up being in gang related activities.And your only 15, and if the reason for this is because of a young gentleman.Then definetley no.Guys usually back away from the problem and will leave you and your child.And how do you know that your parents will help you financially.Have you talked to them about this?  

Answer 6

if you really were matue for your age school would be your number one priority at this time. without a college education (even more than being an undergrad) you wont even be able to support yourself let alone a child  

Answer 7

If you feel as if you have the emotional, physical, financial and social support you need to raise a human life I say go for it.

Answer 8

To be honest my boyfriend and I talked about having a baby about 8 months ago. I'm 20 and he was 21. The more we thought about it. We would be missing out on the time of being young. And you only get that once. Plus its not really fair to a baby. My best friend has a baby she had her when she was 19. There is nights friends call we get ready and go out, her and her husband can't. They have to find a sitter, get the baby ready, take the baby to the sitter or wait for the sitter to get there. By then its 2 or 3 hours later. Its not worth them trying. Plus the money the spend going out could go to the baby.

And is it really fair to your parents to have to help you pay for a baby? Right now in most states you can't even have a job, let alone get one that lets you work more then what 20 hours a week.

dipers $25 a week

formula $25 a week

wipes $5

toys $50

crib $200

clothes $100

baby sitter when you go to work/school $40 a day.

blanets $15

binky $8

baby soap for the bath and their clothes $15

gas to buy these things $ 3.85 a gallon avg car about 30 miles per gallon

Up keep on a car...avg 20 bucks a month...some times alot more some times alot less per month.

doctor appt. with insurance $20 a visit with out up to $500 a visit

having the baby in the hospital  with insurance $ 1000 with out up to $10,000

Rx's for the baby and you after having the baby...$20 with insurance with out $400+

waking up at 2am 3am 4am..to a screaming baby and still going to school the next day.

waking up to a baby full of poo

These are just things I'm thinking of off the top of my head...there is so much more  HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE??

my boyfriend and I both work having jobs we both make over $13 per hour his over time days over $20...we can't afford a baby right now

Answer 9

You are getting the cart before the horse and harboring delusions.

You are NOT ready for a baby. You are a child and would have to depend upon your parents and the government to support it. That is unfair to your parents (if they wanted another child they'd have had one) or the taxpayers (paying for your foolishness) Let's not forget you mention no bf even let alone a lifelong commitment to a stable man who isn't just using you for a dumpster.

Your uterus isn't even done growing.

When you can move out and support yourself entirely, then you are an adult and ready for a child. Get some education and a job and a man who will be with you forever and then have a baby. Don't be selfish and impulsive and bring a child into a sorrowfully unprepared environment.

Don't be another statistic. Just because there are a lot of stupid little boys and girls out there popping out children becuase of stupidity, don't you do it too.

Answer 10

Although you might be able to handle it emotionally and physically, you need to be able to handle the financial part yourself too.  It's not your parents job to support your children.  

Please, do yourself a favor...get your education, get settled with a job and a home of your own, and then think about a child.  You do want to give your child the best life you possibly can, right?  I think you do.  If you are as mature as you say you are then you aren't going to make any hasty decisions  here...think about the child first and foremost,  that is what a good parent does.

Live your life first, before you need to start living for your children.  Being a mom is wonderful, but not  until the time is right.  Thank you for asking this question  before getting pregnant.  Hold off...you will not regret it.

Best wishes...  

Answer 11

I feel nearly the same way, right down to the I want to be a teacher. The thing you must remember is that you still have time to think about this. I know how compelling a baby seems...someone who will always love you and count on you, someone to take care of, someone who is truly all yours. But just think that you can wait even six more years to have that, too.

I'm not sure if this is the case with you, but for me, another thing I can't wait for is the excitement of pregnancy...a loving husband to share it with, my coworkers being excited for me, a baby shower, getting to decorate the babys room...if I went ahead and got pregnant now, I wouldn't have these things.

Lastly, I will tell you that I'm not going out of my way to NOT get pregnant. I'm not some s**t who goes around having s*x with everyone. In fact, I'm still a virgin. But, I'm not specifically saving myself for marriage, either. I'm jsut saving myself for someone who is worthy. And even then, I'm not going to try to get pregnant. If I do, however, ever find myself pregnant at a not-so-positively-looked-upon-age, I won't mind. I would be psyched.

Email me if you want.

Answer 12

Finish HS, go to college.  Somewhere along the line you will meet the love of your life and decide to get married and have babies.  

Think this through, ask yourself IF you can take on all the financial obligation of a child.  You don't even drive yet, how are you going to get groceries home with an infant in a sling on the bus?   How are you going to afford baby food and diapers, plus all the gear that goes with a baby.    Having a baby without a solid foundation is not a very wise decision.  Counting on your parents is nice, but what if they cannot help you?  What if they have to move.  Life as a single mother who is living without the father of the baby to help is hard.    It is lonely. and scary.  You need to think this all the way through.  That cute baby is going to grow up to a real kid within months.  At 15 you could be  a grandparent by the age of 30  if you child follows your path.  

Most single teen mothers do not finish HS as they planned. Having a toddler, then a preschooler,who plays all night or cries all night, or just won't go to sleep takes it out of a young mother, or an old mother.

talk to some teen mothers or read here. Most are glad they had their unplanned babies but are overwhelmed by the responsibility of it all.  

At least as a college graduate you would make more than 3 dollars an hour plus tips.  



    

Answer 13

I'm fifteen years old, pregnant, and I know it was a huge choice in my life, and I chose wrong. Maybe you're ready for a baby, I wouldn't know.

Talk to your parents about it first, see if *they're* ready for *you* to have a baby, to become grandparents. I, personally, would wait until I'm out of high school.

Answer 14

I think you should wait. You should probably finish High School, and have a baby when you and if you go to college to become a teacher. Because if you have one, you can't just return it because you don't want it anymore. But talk to your parents.

Answer 15

I have been in you place.

I decided to wait, and I am glad I did because me and that boy didn't last.

I am now seventeen and expecting.

I was expecting it and now my life is changing so fast.

I am having to take on huge responsibilities and I admit being a parent isn't that easy, and I'm not even at the hardest part.

I will be attending college and I can only imagine how difficult it's going to be.

Balancing school, job, and relationship is hard I'm sure.

Especially for a teenager.

Good Luck though!!

&& if you have any questions feel free to msg.

EDIT: To Katy(above me), Having a kid isn't the biggest mistake.  I am very grateful for my baby to be. It may not be the right time but my child won't be a mistake. & my friend have a child her freshmen year and she is a wonderful mother but she has to work her butt off.  & She hasn't got to give her daughter everything I'm sure she wish she could give.

Answer 16

The best thing for you and your future child is for you to go to college, get a good job, then have the baby. Trust me it will make everything wayyy easier. For now, maybe you can babysit.  

Answer 17

please try to wait, think about it, wouldnt it be great to have a child with someone you really love, and you would see that person and you together in your child.

Finish high school and then decide if you want to go to college- i think you should of course, but it will eventually be your decision!

If you have a baby now you will miss out on the best times of your life. if you wait you will enjoy yourself plus have something to really look forward to in the future! From the moment you get pregnant, that is 18 plus years that you will lose your freedom (well most of it!) and you are still in school  and havnt even tasted what its like to be free and independent yet! Its pretty great! Alot of peoples college years are their best years ever! Then having a child after that would be even better! So if you have the chance to try and make the best of everything and all the opportunities you have , then ..... think about it again now!

Answer 18

wait. dont count on your familys money. wait till ur married and can afford it ur self

Answer 19

You are still so young.  You need to experience life.

I had my first when I was 19 and now I have two kids, been divorced and re-married. I started going to college after my divorce and am now a year away from graduating.

I recommend that you finish high school, take some college courses and see where that takes you.

Having kids so young, you will miss out on opportunities.

Please Wait!

Answer 20

Don't have a kid yet. Once it happens, you'll realize what a huge mistake you've made. You really can't know how stressful and how much hard-work it is being a parent, unless you are one. In my opinion anyway.

I know how it is at 15. School is getting boring as h**l, and you just really want to get on with your life. I know the feeling perfectly.

You said: "my parents would and could help me out financially". That summed up the whole post. You would still have to rely on your parents. You couldn't handle the kid on your own. Speaks for itself. Have you thought how you would pay for the child once you lived on your own? You wouldn't have graduated, so you'd be in a minimum wage job. That's just enough to feed 1, never mind 1 + a baby. There's a reason having a child involves 2 people. 2 wages, 2 supports, 2 people to take care.

Having a child now, or before you finish HS isn't in your, the child's, the child's father or your parents best interests. I'm not going to patronize you by saying "get a puppy", because that's some of the worst advice I've ever heard. Just wait, get a decent job, live your life, fall in love, then have a child.

You should always live your life before you create another; at 15 you simply haven't done that.

Answer 21

DONT! having a baby at your age would ruin your lif! you may think your ready but youre probly not. my 21 year old sis and her bf have a 6 month old and they're barley getting by. they never go out and have to plan everything they do now. your only 15, it would be a really really bad idea to have a kid now.

Answer 22

It's best to wait until you really are sure that you can handle a child physically, emotionally, and financially. Children need constant care, and by having one so early you can diminish your hopes of becoming a teacher someday. I think it would be best if you were a teacher and then you had some safety net to fall back on. You also have to think about who would father the baby and how he would be involved int he child's life. It's a good idea to satisfy your need for kids by helping at a daycare center or babysitting or something like that. Hope I helped.

Answer 23

sure you may feel really mature for your age, but that doesn't mean your body is totally ready.

and what do you mean by get on with your life? no college? just think, your parents can't help you financially forever, how will you support your child if your parents stop helping so much?

just think more, maybe there is another profession you'll want more. i used to want to be a teacher ever since i could remember, but now all i can think about is a career in law.

if your so totally confused, TALK WITH YOUR PARENTS!

Answer 24

PLEASE don't! I'm fifteen and I have a 13 month old daughter. It's not what it's cut out to be. Her mother left after two months, so I don't even have help. I had to get a job to pay for all of her necessities, although my parents help me out, but VERY LITTLE because they want me to see what it really is like being a parent. And trust me, it's not easy.