Serious parents, what are your views on slapping your child on the wrist when they are in the wrong?

Question

I have a 2 year old who is quite persistent in getting her way... if she doesn't, she will scream and yell until she does... or if I tell her to stop doing something she's not supposed to, she just keeps on doing it, or laughs... which I know, every 2 year old does this, but it seems a little slap on the wrist seems to get her to stop.... what are your views on this form of 'discipline'? and how did you deal with it otherwise?

thanks

Answer 1

I think a slap on the wrist or bottom is a fine form of discipline.  

Answer 2

I see nothing wrong with it. For those who say it isn't how we would treat an adult - you are right we would not, but they are unlikely to mess up our stereo or video unit while playing with the pretty buttons.

They also rarely scream and yell to get their own way and dont say no to every single reasonable request.

No we dont need to treat children as "little adults" they need discipline and parents need to give it.

Answer 3

I have been swatting my 3 year old's hand since she started to walk and get into stuff she shouldn't and it works.  I haven't had to swat her in a few months because now all I have to do is raise my voice and she obeys.  Just be sure to say NO when you swat her and in time you will not have to swat at all.

As for putting mine in the corner....SHE LIKES IT!  I don't understand that but I have cut out time outs all together.

Answer 4

I have three young children and sometimes they do get out of control.  You have to put your foot down and you can do that without feeling guilty but it's a challenge.  My oldest who is now 10, when he was two years old he was out of control we gave him everything and barely followed through with discipline and one day we took him to the store, he started pitching a tantrum in the store so my husband took him to the car , he put him in his car seat and drove around in the parking lot to calm him down.  he didn't notice that he had unbuckeled his sat belt and rolled out of the car, long story short my husband jumped out of the car to get him and a stranger caught the car.  everything was fine scary but okay,Sometimes discipline helps in the saftey of your child not just respect and good manners.  Needless to say we were firmer with him after that.  We of course didn't beat him just alot of time outs and stability.  Alittle slap on the wrist is not going to hurt your little girl or scar her for life, it might let her know whos boss.  Just a little, it's better than a spanking and I believed most of us were spanked as kids even with having good parents and we turned out okay.

Answer 5

as long as you dont hit out of anger/frustration or hard. a slap on the wrist is a good lesson, like that and if they try to touch something hot, etc

Answer 6

well... first.. what ever works for you... that is what you should do. no matter what other people say. she will learn some how that you are the boss. I myself... i was spanked and i spank. I dont beat my child... he gets a swat for this or a swat for that. he stands the corner... he does the chair. i have tried everything, nothing for us works but the swatting. I think it presents aclear message if you do it correctly. Spanking is said to be bad andnot work... I have not found another method that does work for me. so.... I spank.

Answer 7

I see nothing wrong with slapping her on the wrist.  Sometimes a little bit of pain is the only way to get a child's attention, to let her know you are serious.  A slap on the wrist is NOT child abuse; it's a form of discipline and punishment.  Children need to learn that their behaviors have consequences.  Even a 2-year-old can understand that.

Answer 8

Slapping a toddlers wrist can break it. We don't know our own strengths. Smacking their fingers can break them, too. I have a friend that works in the ER as a nurse and she said they get about 20 toddlers a year in there with broken fingers from being smacked what the parents consider *lightly.*

Answer 9

It's OK if that's your choice. However that's what I think bottoms are for. You have extra padding down there. I think a spanking on the bottom is needed for children ages 2-12.

Answer 10

i dont smack or hit my kids i use the naughty step or if we are out i will hold my child for 5 mins until she stops doingwhat she is doing

Answer 11

Yup, I agree with you. A slap on the wrist for a yelling and screaming  2 year old is perfectly acceptable. Spanking and hitting are totally different matters, but I don't think a slap on the wrist falls in those categories.  

Answer 12

i think u are think ing in he right way of discipline. u cant just let them get away with it. a slap on the wrist is fine

Answer 13

i slapped little hands,,,i did 2 finger pops on the mouth, and i did swats on the butt.  my kids are normal happy healthy intelligent children and none the worse for ware.  i had the same discipline as a child as did about everyone in my family, my school, and my home town.  parents today let kids get away with too much and kids know NO consequence

Answer 14

i have a very hard time smacking my son on the rear, but no problems taking his hand and smacking it. I have only spanked my son a handful of times and he knows if those undies come down he better apologize quick.

She needs a time out and a smack, go girl~~~

Answer 15

I have no problem giving my kids a slap on the wrist or a swat on the butt. I have a 3 year old who does not like doing anything that hes told. I give warnings and time out and if it doesnt work a swat on the butt and a sit on the couch does it. For my younger one he's only 17months but if he keeps doing what he's not suppose to I give him a smack on the wrist. Enough to feel but nothing to hurt him

Answer 16

Hopefully, parents try to teach their children that hitting is wrong, and that conflicts and problems shouldn't be settled by violence.  If that's the case, why would you then hit your child?

Your child definitely needs firm and consistent discipline, but hitting her, even a "slap on the wrist" is not the solution.  Pick up a copy of one of Dr. William Sears's books about toddlers and discipline.

Answer 17

I feel slapping or any form of physical punishment shows the child you do not love them or respect them.  You are treating them with less respect than you would another adult.  

I think you should be able to discipline a child with verbal cues only.  If she keeps doing it, take her by the arm and put her in timeout.  You don't have to get physical.

Answer 18

I don't think is big problem with a little slap, if they don't like it they will try to not do it again in order not to get hit, but if u do it very often, the child will get used to it and it will take more than a little slap to make her stop.

Time out is great, make sure there is nothing around that can distract the child and entertain her, taking things away works good too, trade something give her prices if she listen to u.

in public is harder, i normally don't like to spank my son in public, so I just pinch him a little bit, he hates it.

But it does not matter how you do it, make sure yo hug her and kiss her and tell her you love her.

Answer 19

A slap on the wrist is perfectly ok. Especially if it's getting through to her. Some kids respond better to a slap on the wrist then a time out. My son did, but my daughter understood by just standing her in a corner. Every kid is different and you have to deal with each kid according to personality and what is effective. I'm not condoning beating or anything for those who are going to completely flip their lids about a little slap on the wrist.

Answer 20

do u no the only thing ur teaching ur daughter is that its ok to hit when ur angry i teach my kids when they have been bad that they either loose something they like (ps2 or ds )or they get time out my 3 year old nos time out is very boring so she behaves with a warning

Answer 21

I'm a hand smacking mom

Answer 22

I'm the mother of a 2 year old as well.  She is very independent and bossy and if we don't discipline her, she will walk all over us.  For us, time out doesn't work because she will fight me tooth and nail, refusing to sit period.  What I have found out is that a pop on the hand works. It doesn't really cause her as much physical pain as it does to her ego. We're not in the business of breaking down her ego, but when she gets a pop, she immediately knows she's done something wrong, and more importantly, we are the parents and wont tolerate it.  She cries for a moment and huffs and puffs but after a couple minutes she comes and gets in my lap and gives me a hug and that's when I tell her that mommy does not like spanking her but she has to listen to what mommy says and she says OK mommy. I tell her I love her and she tells me the same and all is well.  

It's working for us.

Answer 23

I support spanking (when done in a calm manner) however that did not work with my daughter. I would just make her even more mad. What I ended up doing was whenever it was one of those days when she wouldn't listen for nothing. I would take a trash bag into her room and her and I would pack up all her toys. She would be left with a few of the 'not so good ones' I would put the bag in closet and she would have to earn them back one at a time. Everytime she used proper manners or accepted me telling her no or didn't act up in the store she would get to pick something back out of the bag. I always remind her having toys are a treat and she has to be a big girl to have her big girl things.  

Answer 24

If she keeps on doing something dangerous or impolite, even after you've reminded her not to do it, then it sounds like she doesn't yet understand *why* she should not be doing the dangerous or impolite thing.  

Slapping her or spanking her is not going to help her understand *why*.  

In those cases, in our family, we took the repeated 'doing something wrong' as a lesson for ourselves, as parents, to realize that our child was not yet ready to learn how to deal with that situation on their own.  So, we would take that responsibility away from them (by restricting freedom or redirecting them) until they were developed enough to understand & take responsibility for themselves in the situation and until we had figured out a way to get them to understand how & why to keep themselves safe & polite in the situation.  

Answer 25

I don't believe in any for of hitting, not even slapping on the hand.  I use the time out chair and it works wonders for me.