This question doesn't represent any kind of relationship-breaker or anything. It's merely a question to other married men (and, if they're so inclined, married women who fit this bill) to see what their take on this is...
My wife often comes home from work and likes to unwind by watching some television (usually HGTV). Last night, I was getting ready to go to bed, and as I kissed her "good night," she told me that she would be up(stairs in our bedroom) "in a minute." Many times, last night included, I wake up in the middle of the night (3-4am) only to find that I'm still in bed alone. Occasionally, I'll go downstairs, only to find my wife out cold on the couch. Sometimes the television is on; sometimes, it's off. The television doesn't have a timer on it.
It would seem to me that, especially in the instances of those times when the television is off, she had to be awake enough to make the conscious decision to pick up the remote, turn the television off, and go to sleep. In some other instances, she's even gone ahead and done some laundry or something else that I am positive she's not doing while sleepwalking. I often wonder just why she doesn't come on upstairs to bed when she's tired and knows she's drowsy. If I could have it my way, I'd wake up with her next to me each morning.
To address some potentially foreseeable questions ahead of time, no, I don't have any kind of nasty body odor or stank, nor are we fighting, nor any of that. There isn't any overt reason of which I can think that would put her in a place, mentally, where she "couldn't bring herself" to sleep next to me. It's not an every-night thing, either, but it happens often enough for me to ask this question. I don't think we go a week without this happening at least once or twice. I have also told her how I feel about this. And, although it isn't correct, she has, more than once, made the assertion that she thinks I stay up with her just so I can get her to come to bed when I see her fall asleep. I let her know that isn't the case, either.
We sometimes joke about this -- occasionally, while we're watching television together, I'll caution her not to recline past 45°, or she'll be out for the night. We both kinda get a laugh out of it. Although I don't think that there's something awry in our relationship, I occasionally get to feeling like this is some form of rejection. That may just be me, but that's the reason I'm asking this question here. Perhaps my wife thinks that this is just a perfectly normal thing. I suppose that it may just be, to her.
As for me, I've kinda gotten to the point where, if I wind up retiring for the night before she does, I all but expect that I won't see her there when I wake up. Once in a great while, though, I am happily corrected in the morning. Again, this isn't a relationship-killer, but I'm just looking for a forum to find out what other people think.
Do other guys feel like this at all -- like they miss their wives when they don't come to bed?
For the ladies reading this question, please feel free to comment, as well, if the tables are turned in your particular situation.
Also, if you're one of the ladies (or guys) who is the one who "falls asleep on the couch," I'm interested in your insight into this phenomenon. Why do you not come to bed (if there even IS a reason, absent any apparent fighting or anything else obvious to recognize)? Please be honest and specific, if possible, as it pertains to you.
Thanks.
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