Seven year old?

Question

My seven-year-old was babied longer than he should have been but he's doing a lot more independently. The problem is, he takes his own sweet time doing what he's told and frequently refuses to do it unless I stop what I'm doing and focus my whole attention on him while he does it. He does the same thing to anyone else who is in charge of him as well. As long as you're doing 'something else' he won't do a darned thing. It completely defeats the purpose of getting him to do it himself because you can't get anything done either.

If you're in a hurry, you just get sick and tired of it and you just end up doing it for him. He is the same behavior-wise. Sweet little boy, very well behaved unless the person in charge of him is making a phone call, reading a book, or talking to a friend. How do you teach the child that the world does not revolve around him?

Answer 1

Kids do things in their own sweet time, it is the nature of the beast.  You said it yourself YOU babied him so you really can't blame him for his behavior because YOU taught him to be this way.  How to teach a child the world desn't revolve around him?  Easy don't teach him that it does.  Set rules and boundaries before they leave the crib and enforce them.  So you don't read well is that it...what about

"Set rules and boundaries before they leave the crib and enforce them." do you not understand?  Take the hint...SET RULES AND BOUNDARIES AND REINFORCE THEM.

Answer 2

even though making him do things takes a long time, you still have to make him do things.  why not gve a punishment/reward system for time?  give an alloted time for a chore.  ex- 45 min to clean his room - if he cleans his room (cleans it - not just throws everything under the bed) in a reasonible time, he gets to spend the extra time doing something he likes.  if he takes 50 minutes to clean it, then 5 minutes get taken away from playtime.  use a timer and show him how long 1, 2, 3 minutes are.  then when timing his chores, make sure he can see the timer and understand that time is passing.  good luck!

Answer 3

1.) Tell him in a clear, stern voice what you want him to do.

2.) Tell him once more

3.) Scold him for not doing what he was told to, and tell him that he needs to do it RIGHT NOW, or their will be serious punishments.

2.) He's still not listening? He needs a consequence for not listening to you. Take him to his room, away from people and noise, and spank his bum. If he's crying or screaming, ignore him and shut the door. Make sure there are no toys or anything he can do in his room. This is not time for him to play, it's time for him to cool down. Come back up in 10 or 15 minutes and explain to him what he did to deserve his spanking. Tell him what he needs to do in the future to avoid this sort of thing happening again. Tell him that hes old enough, and that for now on, when he disobeys orders then he will get a spanking. Tell him this in a stern, but calm voice. NEVER do the thing you asked him to do for him. It teaches him that if he waits long enough, mum or dad will give up and do it for him. Give him a 2 day grounding, filled with no toys and lots of chores. He needs to know that you are his parent, not his friend. Take control. Hope this helps!

Answer 4

When his room is dirty, put him in there say "dont come out timm it's clean, then leave, when he comes out, look in his room and if it's clean, give him a quarter, and if it's not, spanking, time out, and he has to do 2 extra chores. Works for my little brother (he's 6)

Answer 5

It's good that you don't want to spoil him anymore and I hope the other people are supportive of that as well.  Sounds like they're the ones that also perpetuated this.  I'd start out by getting him to do things this way, "While I clear the dishes, I want you to collect the silverware.  Then we can play xyz video game together."  If YOU'RE doing something, he'd be more likely to.  That, and since he knows you'll do something fun with him that HE wants to do, he's more likely to cooperate.  

On that note, a lot of it is attention.  You're trying to 'get things done' but from what you said, you're not talking about chores, you're talking about talking with friends, reading books etc. (in other words - IGNORING HIM).  Of course he isn't cooperative!  Pay attention to him, play with him, if he wants/needs something from you, stop what you're doing and give him your full attention.  It'll pay back when he's older - if you listen to him now, he'll talk to you when he's older.  If you're not going to pay attention to him, don't expect him to pay attention to YOU.