Seventeen and engaged?

Question

Here's the thing Last night my boyfriend of three years proposed to me for my 17th birthday and I said yes. Today we were talking about what it would be like and he says I would stay at home while he works and I would take care of the children wait up for him and do as I'm told and like it. When I tried to voice my opinion he told me no matter what I said I would do as my "master" told me. That upset me beyond belief. Should I get married to him next year?

Answer 1

I sure wouldn't. I would wait about 5 years, at least, before deciding to get married at all.

Answer 2

Absolutely, but only if your father approves.  Women are property.  

;^)~

Answer 3

Definitely not. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Run, girl, RUN!

Answer 4

Absolutly not! A marriage is a 2 way-communication. If you can't decide what you get to do with your life, then theres no point to it. Wait till you are older and can fend for yourself, and get some experience in the world so if he does leave you, you have something to fall back on!

Answer 5

Nope....

you aren't his property, he doesn't own you, so why shouldn't you be able to get an education and find a good job.  not all women want to stay home with the kids everyday.  

Find a man that respects you and loves you and supports you in all you want to do.  Dont settle for someone who is controlling, you don't deserve that.  Thats considered a form of abuse.

BTW you are only 17, you have the rest of your adult life to be married and such.  Go to school, have fun with friends, get a career, and ultimately grow up and figure out whats best for you.  And along the way you'll find the one thats right for you...not some controlling a hole.  

Good luck and dump his sorry a s s!

Answer 6

HECK NO! Kick that immature wimp to the curb. you may care about him, but I promise you don't want to tie yourself to someone who is going to control you. KICK HIM TO THE CURB! Please don't be like me and marry someone like him... Be a smart 17 y/o, go to college, get an education,and marry someone who will respect you.

good luck. ;)

Answer 7

Do you want to spend the rest of your life like that?  I really think you need time to think about this.

I seriously think 17 is too young to get married.  Maybe you should explore the world for a while and then see if you are ready to marry this man in a few more years.  If you marry now, you may regret it later on when you are in your mid 20's.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 8

NO YOU SHOULDN'T!!!

if you cant see the trouble that he is bringing into your life then you got some issues.

he is using you, already disrespecting you and your not even married!

i understand that you hav been with him for 3 years but i seriously would no marry him.

he is a jerk, conceited and is just going to use you

what kind of **** is telling your fiance, that your gonna do as she is told and gonna like it?

get rid of him as soon as possible

thats just bad news,

i would never ever in my life let a man put me down like he did to you.

he would be knocked out.

but good luck with that.

Answer 9

Well if I was you I wouldn't because he sounds mean & your way to young!!! So yeah if you wanna enjoy the next couple of years young then don't get married to him! Its a bad idea! Good Luck!

Answer 10

You are 17, enough said.  Neither one of you can possible understand the maturity needed to be in a committed relationship let alone support yourselves as a married couple.  What are you going to live with parents?  That's not a marriage.  Grow up a little first.

Answer 11

I've been engaged since December 7th, 2007.  We started dating on Halloween, 2007.  Five weeks of dating is not a long time, yet in the 9 months since then, I've never doubted our love.  I've never doubted who he is and who he'll continue to be long after the thrill of a new relationship is gone.  

I dated a guy for a year and nine months.  He was very similar to what you describe as the man you're currently dating.  He informed me I could only get a part time job, and then only at a specific grocery store where he knew the managers.  Once we had children, I would be required to quit my job and stay home with them.  I would not be permitted to name them, as he is the man and makes the decisions.  He was extremely controlling the whole time we dated.  Was I blind to it?  No.  I've always hated the phrase "I thought I loved him".  You love somebody or you don't.  It's not a thought. It's not something you can be confused about.  What you can be mistaken about is whether he loves you or loves the feeling of control he has over you.  

You love him or you wouldn't have dated him for 3 years and you sure as h**l wouldn't have agreed to marry him.  He doesn't love you, though.  If he loved you, he'd respect who you are and what you feel you need to pursue to enjoy life.  If you want a career, you're going to be miserable being a stay at home slave.  Do what you want and find the guy who loves who you are and who you dream of being.  Don't change who you are to fit into a set of chains somebody's dreamt up for you.

Answer 12

Read your own question. He's young. He has immature ideas, even if he thinks it is humorous. You're young and your mother is very correct to call your father FAST!! You've been seeing him for 3 YEARS?? Girl, you haven't given yourself the opportunity to meet other guys, to see different personalities, to get out and work and mingle with real people, to get an education so you can truly realize your dreams. If you were stupid enough to get involved sexually, then cool your jets NOW! You don;t mention HIS age, but, if he was over 16 when you were just 14 or 15, your parents have every right to throw his a** in jail as well!!

Answer 13

Sounds like he is verrry controlling.  I would definitely rethink your relationship with him.  Do you really want to be told what to do your whole life?

Answer 14

Should you sign on for a lifetime of something you clearly don’t want?  If it sounds unappealing now, how much less will you like it after living it for 10, 20, 30 years?

I think you know the right answer.

Answer 15

all that time and he just now started going medieval on you?

idk..

but i say **** that.

Answer 16

Ask him if he was joking around because if he wasnt then dont marry him because he will treat you bad.  Make sure things change before you marry him.

Answer 17

Definetely reconsider!!! You are way to young to get married...you have your whole life ahead of you!! Plus he sounds like a jerk!!  When you get married you dont become your husbands servant..you become his partner and mate.

Answer 18

I can only agree, don't marry him.

he sounds way too young, too. as you are.

not mature enough!

3 years of relationship at your age doesn't train for a lifetime, nor does it give you the guarantee that it will last forever.

did you tell your parents yet? what do they say?

Answer 19

Get out. Give him back the ring and end this, now. He is controlling and already indicates that he is emotionally abusive. You have your whole life ahead of you - is this how you want to spend it?

Answer 20

you know you shouldn't marry a guy like that, you want to get married to share responsibilities and work together to create a family, you don't want to be ordered around like a child your whole life.

Answer 21

Heck no. You guys are not ready for marriage to begin with, let alone his mentality and this "master" c**p. What, are we in the 1900's?

Dump his sorry butt and tell him good luck finding anyone who will marry him with that attitude. INEXCUSABLE.

You're 100 times better off without him. Don't throw your life away for him, and that's exactly what you'd be doing by marrying him.

Answer 22

Don't get married. First of all, no one is your "master". No one. And if he thinks for one minute that he's going to tell you to stay home and take care of the kids without having a conversation about what YOU want to do, or what YOU think, then he doesn't respect you as a woman.  

Answer 23

i wouldnt marry him..... plus your way to young to get married, you need to go out and enjoy life while your still young. the choice is yours good luck. ur bf sounds like he is the controlling type.