s*x after having a baby, what is normal?

Question

my little boy is 4 mnths old and me and my partner have only had s*x 3 times since, my partner is fraustrated and i feel like a let down. Also last time we had s*x it felt almost like a scraping feeling inside, it wasnt painful, just uncomfortable. is this normal?

Answer 1

Yes, it is very normal.  My baby is 4 months too and we have tried maybe 5 times but only been able to maybe 3.  Your partner just has to understand.  It takes the body a while to get back to normal.  I don't know how old you are but the older you are the longer it takes.  I had a baby 10 years ago and it did not take this long.  Now that I am 10 years older my body is not healing as quickly... plus I have had three kids now, lol.

Answer 2

I still wonder this! Sadly, like everything it is different for everybody. It IS normal to be uncomfortable for quite awhile after birth, you just have to take it slow and let your body get used to it again. Wish there was an easy answer! Your body has been through alot, and you are still coping with being a new parent, broken sleep & all the rest of the frustrations. Emotionally and hormonally you are not the same woman as before you got pregnant. Which can sometimes really suck lol. My son is 10 months old and s*x is still a rarity in our house! Emotionally/mentally I want to, but my body just doesn't seem to respond like it used to. I do wonder if this is partly related to the fact I'm still breastfeeding, so hubby has declared b*****s a no-go zone, when that used to be a big part of it all for me!

I think you have to just give it time, take it slow - what used to work for you might not anymore, but maybe something new will?! Talk to your hubby & try to get him to understand that you've been through a lot of changes and he is going to have to be patient. When s*x does happen, he is probably going to have to be a little more attentive to you and it may take more effort to get it all started than it used to, if he wants it then he needs to help you want it too :) Also, some help around the house so you aren't too d**n tired every night might be good too! :D

Answer 3

I have a 3.5 month old , and I feel that same scraping sensation. My doc said its from the delivery, that the muscles stretch almost to tearing during delivery and they are trying to get back to normal.It can take several weeks to feel normal physically .He also told me everyone has to take the time after a baby to feel like themselves again. As he said "It takes 9 months to make a baby so it may take at least that long to recover", This is my 3rd child and its been 12 years since the last one .I understand how you feel. I've been feeling like a big let down as a wife, My hubby is  understanding about it all but I know he misses what we used to have and so do I. I want to feel like I did before our baby .

Answer 4

This is completely normal and please don't worry. Explain to your partner how you are feeling i'm sure he will understand. It look me a long time after giving birth before things settled down and were comfortable again. Take things slowly as you dont want to hurt yourself and your partner wont want to hurt you either. Communication is key right now talk to each other. Having a new baby can be stressful enough without worrying about things like this. Give yourself a little time x

Congratulations on your little bundle  

Answer 5

You have to take it at your own pace. What is right for one may noy be right for another.  If its uncomfortable have you tried more lubrication? different positions so you are incontrol of depth and speed?

You dont have to have intercourse to be intimate, there are other ways that will keep your husbands happy!  

If you are still concerned speak to your health visitor or GP. they are here to help.

x x x