s*x after pregnancy question. Pleease Help?

Question

I do feel a little unsure about this. She had our baby girl one month ago. She began to talk about s*x after. I was worried about the healing but we made jokes about s*x after the birth.

We began to kiss, it got really intimate and she felt me uh yea then she stood up and went. The thing is, aren't we meant to wait for at least 6 weeks before we can,or is that not really true?

Answer 1

what the docs say is just a guideline as long as bleeding has stopped and she feels ready then its fine, Myself and  my husband had s*x 4 weeks after my son was born and it was fine i was a little apprehensive at first but there was no need to be!

Answer 2

you don't need to wait 6 weeks  we waited but by 6 weeks I was gagging for it but its wasn't the same until about 12 weeks afterwards ( I had stitches) I didn't get much pleasure so my drive went down a bit .. but now we are back to the good old hanky panky heheheh  oooohhhh yeeeah .. be careful though  my friend has a a7 week old and just found out she is pregnant again !!!!!!!!! gulp  I would cry.  breast feeding is not a guarantee but so far its working for us

enjoy

Answer 3

Intamacy,comfort and closeness is perhaps what your partner is looking for. Some women feel  exhilerated, on top of the world and ready and roaring for s*x soon after birthing.  Others feel distressed, exhausted, detatched and confused. This is also true of new fathers who may be confused with thier new role and responsibilites.  My advice is gently, gently, good communication adn allow whatever might happen.. to happen...

Your other question was about the healing and many answers so far allude to the 6 week mark.....Want to know what is the story behind the 6 week mark?

There seems to be some magical occurrence after the six week mark and so many couples are dreadfully disappointed when that ‘something’ doesn’t happen.  The physical facts are that within six weeks of birthing, your uterus should be back to its pre-pregnancy weight and size. Breastfeeding assists in stimulating the hormones released around this function.   This is the reason that you are meant to have a six week check up and then are medically are ‘fit’ to commence intimate relations.  Ignored and unaddressed are the emotional and psychological changes that have occurred.

Reclaiming your personal space, your energy and your sexuality is a journey all new parents attempt, but for many, they do not have the tools to undertake it successfully.

Check out  www.reclaimsexafterbith.com  which is  there to dispel and defuse the deeply embedded belief that women should ‘Just get over themselves and get back on the job’ when it comes to s*x - it is far more complex than that, as the personal stories show. I think its time that  women stop carrying the guilt that it is ‘their fault’ that a couple’s s*x life is not like it once was. This is unfair and destructive to a relationship in the short and long term. There are so many assumptions around initiating and maintaining a s*x life after birth which are wrong or simplistic. In no way am I demonizing men, as they are often as confused, hurt and trying to make sense of their new role as well.

So in a nutshell – everyone is different, their emotional, psychological and physical needs all heal and grow at differing rates. Reclaiming your relationships sexuality can be a wonderful adventure – so don’t treat it as a chore or something that you just gotta do. Keep up the great communicaiton, explore, keep the humour and trust and have a GREAT time!  congrats!

Answer 4

Years ago they said wait six weeks but i think times have changed it would be OK  after four weeks.

Its because the post natal  would be six weeks after birth.

What a caring  considerate man to take the trouble to find out.

Answer 5

As long as she is ok with it. You will just need to make sure that you move slowly because she could be a bit "tender" still and not be able to feel it until you're in there. And... even though you have s*x once or twice, she might change her mind and decide that she wants to wait a little longer, just make sure that you listen to her wants for a few weeks.

Answer 6

All women find that their libidio returns in differing amounts of time and intensity.  To echo the responses of others, if there is no lochia (the discharge that occurs from birth to approximately six weeks - though it is different for everyone) or bleeding, and she is not recovering from a tear or an episitomy ... and she wants it ... then it would seem that there is no reason to pick up where you left off.

Women who have a postnatal visit at around six weeks will often be asked if they have 'resumed sexual relations'  - which makes that magical marker for six weeks really just a guide.

Many women are keen to resume their s*x lives as it helps them deal with the pressures and stresses of motherhood - to feel s**y, when motherhood can make a woman feel drab and invisible.  

On-demand, exclusive breastfeeding (that is nothing but breastmilk, when the baby wants to be fed) for the first six months offers protection, though not guaranteed 100%.  Estrogen contraceptives are not recommended for breastfeeding Mums, and while progestrone contraceptives are said to be safer - if you are breastfeeding, do you really want a brand new baby taking in articial hormones? There are IUD - in the long term, (which will need to be fitted by a medical professional) or condoms (for the short term)

It sounds like your relationship, post baby is off to a flying start. Congratulations.

Answer 7

Doctors say to wait 6 weeks, but i think that is more so for the bleeding that comes with giving birth,. But hey, if she is willing and its not hurting her i guess your fine.

Answer 8

She'll be fine.  Pretty sure we didn't wait the entire 6 weeks either.

Answer 9

I had a c-section and was back having s*x bout 2 and 1/2 weeks later.

It just depends if she feels well enough to do it. Just take it slow and use protection! Nothing says she can't fall pregnant again very quickly!!

Answer 10

hi they do recomend that but if there is no problem down there and she is not bleeding then i suppose its fine.

Answer 11

to be on the safe side i'd wait until she has had her 6 week check up or until she is ready she will know when her body has healed and ready for s*x again