s*x? (answer mine, i'll answer yours)?

Question

my fiance and i plan to have s*x before marriage...i dont agree with pre-marital s*x, but i dont want to be in pain on my honeymoon (my fiance is very well-endowed) the thing is-- next week, we plan to just slide it in to loosen me up a little, not actually *have s*x* but you know...does anyone have any tips for me? i'm really nervous about this...mainly considering i'm not on birth control and condoms CAN break...and i'm afraid it'll hurt to use a condom, and i know girls who have gotten pregnant from pre-***.. what do you guys think?

-also, leave me a link to one of your questions and i'll answer it back to the best of my ability -- thanks = )

Answer 1

if you are against pre-marital s*x then why are you going to have s*x (it does not make sense.) (no matter what you say it is still having s*x)

Answer 2

Honey, if you don't want to have pre-marital s*x, then don't! Being afraid of a little pain is no reason to compromise your beliefs. Every woman's body is different and some have no problems the first time, even with bigger men. Others may experience some pain or discomfort but usually only during their first time or two, then after that they're stretched out and, um, good to go. It is really unlikely that you'd be in excruciating pain your entire honeymoon, so your fears are ungrounded.



I highly doubt "sliding it in" without *really* having s*x will last long, nor will that continue to be your only motivation for having s*x. "Ok honey, we gotta loosen you up again, what a chore!" Do you really want that to be your first time- pretending that it isn't? Especially after you've waited so long?!? I can tell that you're feeling really nervous, scared, and guilty about this... listen to your intuition. You can tough it out and find other solutions to the pain issue.  

For instance, there are ways of stretching yourself out before the wedding night so it won't hurt at all-- talk to your gynecologist about how. Otherwise, use an old-fashioned tool: your fingers. I'm not going to go into all the gory details, but 3 fingers width is wide enough for most men (start low and work up to it until comfortable). A vibrator could help stretch you out as well, if you're ok with buying and using one (you wouldn't have to turn it on). Also, use a lubrication jelly for at least your first few times (hopefully during your honeymoon) and it will help slip him in more easily and painlessly. Then try to relax and not tense up (easier said then done when you're nervous and scared).

Secondly, while you're at your gyn, get on birth control! It's usually good to give yourself a couple months to adjust, and its effectiveness if best if you go through one cycle before having s*x. You don't want your first time with him to be with a condom. It doesn't feel as natural and good, and its effectiveness isn't as good as the pill/ ring.

I had some of the same concerns about it hurting before I got married. I really encourage you to wait until your wedding night. It will be worth it, even if there's a little pain.

Answer 3

DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! girl, youve waited this long just have it hurt a little on your wedding night. im telling you youll regret it. just wait im serious. especially if you are against pre marital s*x plus it wont "loosen you up" it hurts for the first 5 times atleast

Answer 4

Okay, if this is a serious question, you really need to educate yourself before you decide to have s*x.

Let me clarify a couple of things to you:

- "Sliding it in" is s*x.

- You may not get any pain. If you do, it is usually quick and won't last the night - never mind your whole honeymoon. If you are worried about pain, use a water-based lube.

- Condoms do not hurt.

Speak to a gynecologist if you have questions like this. If you have never been to one, you should make an appointment (if you are old enough to get married I assume you are at least 18 and should be going for yearly exams)

Answer 5

everyone is different but let me just say that was i was tryin to concieve my daughter i had completely unprotected s*x for 11 months before she came along so as long as you use a condom nothing is going to happen...as for the "loosening you up" thing.  Once agian its different for everyone but my first time didnt really hurt and it will take a awhile to be loosened up because it pretty much bounces back so you cant really strech it out....my advice go slow and it will be well worth it ha ha

Answer 6

If you dont believe in premartial s*x then dont have it.  You can always use a vibrator or d***o (they come in many sizes) to as you say loosen yourself up so you wont be in pain on your honeymoon.  And that way you dont have to worry about becoming pregnant.

Answer 7

Sorry, but "sliding it in" is s*x. Honestly, my first time didn't hurt. And even though my first time was with my fiance and his with me, we both wish we had waited until marriage. It's not that it's dirty, but now if my period is one or two days late he freaks out! And I honestly don't want to get pregnant before we get married. That's the main reason we've agreed not to have s*x. And just to let you know the tiniest hole in a condom can let *** through. My best friend got pregnant from using a condom that didn't break. So, I'd say just wait. Honestly, you are this close, why ruin it now?

Answer 8

lol....don't worry. it'll hurt, don't get me wrong, but you'll be okay. and you WON'T get pregnant if he's just gonna 'slide it in' lol. AND he's wearing a condom. but if you're worried, you can go to the pharmacy and get EC (emergency contraceptive) within five days after the act.

don't have a question for you, but thx for the offer!

Answer 9

If you think the pain is worth it, then you SHOULD wait. Whoever said that you need to test drive the car before you buy it obviously isn't in love enough to just wait. Regardless of when you decide to have s*x, it's still going to hurt, and if you say that your boyfriend is well-endowed, then it's really going to hurt.

I know I'm not the one to give advice in the s*x department, but I think it would be more special if your first time was after you got married, and you didn't regret not waiting.

It's up to you, I'm sure he'll except whatever you decide to do.

Answer 10

Why not use his fingers or a s*x toy instead?  If you use his p***s, you definitely need a condom.  You're right that you can absolutely get pregnant from the pre-ejaculate.  Another option is to have your gynecologist perform a hymenectomy, where they surgically remove the hymen.  I had this done when I was younger and it was very helpful for using tampons, etc.  It took a few days to heal up.

Answer 11

Stick to your beliefs and don't have premarital s*x. You can buy something like Astroglide, KY jelly, or another personal lubricant to help w/ the process, but the most important thing is to relax and not tense up. Talk to you fiance about your concerns and you guys take your time. Make sure  on your wedding night you have things to relax you like soft music, bubble baths, glass of wine, or any other things that will help you relax. Some positions will be more comfortable others won't. Yes use condoms-get a multi pack w/ differnt kinds

to you find out what types feel better for the both of you.

Answer 12

Use a condom if you are worried.  If you don't use one, you'll regret it and the "what ifs?" will nag on your mind until your wedding.  

And buy some lubricant.  You might think it's embarrassing, but you will need it, especially if you are nervous. Being properly lubricated is the best way to prevent any pain or discomfort.

Lastly, if you don't agree with premarital s*x then think carefully about what you are doing. It would be horrible to regret something like this.  If you are careful and use lubricant on your honeymoon you won't be in pain.  My first time did not hurt, and I didn't bleed or anything.  Also you won't be as nervous about the condom breaking, etc. once you are married so you will be more comfortable (and less likely to have it be an uncomfortable/painful experience.)

Also, if there is any pain, it will only be the first time, so you don't have to worry about it for your whole honeymoon anyway.

Just think through your decision so you don't have any regrets for your wedding night!

Good Luck!

Answer 13

Yes, condoms can break; if you're THAT concerned about it, then get on the pill or use other methods of birth control (talk to your doctor to choose the best one). BTW, "sliding it in" counts as s*x, but I'm not sure what the big deal is - just do it. Your mind games and denial are quite ridiculous. s*x is not some dirty deed, it's what we all do. Try it, and go at your own pace, you don't have to rush.

Answer 14

If you are against pre matrital s*x then there are other ways...no mtter what you say this is still s*x....use a d***o and work on yourself daily before your marriage that will help!

Answer 15

is this a real question???

if you know your fiance is well endowed..i would guess you have already had "pre marital s*x".

and..if you (like some other people) don't believe that manual or oral s*x is s*x..then still your plan to "just slide it in to loosen me up a little..not actually "have s*x"

yeah..i do know..THAT DARLING IS CALLED S~E~X~!!!

so..you DO agree with premarital s*x.

you are planning to HAVE premarital s*x.

either do it and own it...or wait and know that you will have your entire lives together to learn together!!

jiminy crickets! are you sure your old enough to get married?

Answer 16

DON'T DO IT!!!!!

i wish i cld do it all over again and save it until after my wedding next saturday but i cant. you got this far, dont tell me u gonna give in now!!!!!!!! you are a woman now and its safe to assume ur man loves u and wld take it easy, u kno this, dont mess up, trust me u will wish u hadnt on ur wedding night.

Answer 17

if its in its s*x, plain and simple!

if thats what you plan to do its your choice.  You are getting married.  whats a few days, weeks or months?  Its who you plan to spend your life with.

If you arent using a condom get on birth control, but you need a month or more for its to effectivly work

lubrication really helps- ky is one fo the best.  Just get the basic, nothing crazy

relax, that has a lot to do with it

and you can always use a vibrator and insert that instead to get used to ti

Answer 18

Hate to break it to you...but that is s*x. If you're really against premarital s*x, don't do it.

Answer 19

Penetration of the v****a with a p***s is having s*x.

he could just lie on top of you with his p***s inside you, not moving or anything....still s*x.  

So if you are really against premarital s*x, i'd reconsider what you are planning.  

If you do go through it, use a condom....they have ones with lubricants already on them or you can buy a bottle of lube.

YOu seem a little naive about the whole situation, if I were you, I'd hold off on s*x and educate yourself some more before hand.

Answer 20

If you honestly want to have premarital s*x in this way then face the consequences, and use whatever method of birth control you're planning on using when you get married.

Don't use "I don't want it to hurt" as an excuse for either of you. You shouldn't be pressured into doing something you aren't comfortable with. And if you do want to do this, you have to decide whether you want to do this, or want to avoid premarital s*x more.