s*x at 14? I need advice!?

Question

Ok. Here's the deal. I live in Colorado. My boyfriend lived here too, but he moved to North Carolina a couple years before we started going out. I know for a fact he is the one I want to be with. <3 Anyways, he wants to have s*x when he comes here to visit everyone next summer.He hasn't pushed at all. And we will be taking many precautions if I decide to and I really think I have what it takes to be a mother if something goes wrong. I love kids, and babysit my 4 year old diabetic brother for about 7 hours everyday. But next summer he will have just turned 16 and I will be almost 15. So.....Yeah. I haven't quite made up my mind about it. I just basically want some advice.

Answer 1

7 hours a day of babysitting a 4 year old.. does NOT equal 24 hours a day of taking care of your own newborn baby. You are NOT ready to have a baby. To be ready you need to have a job, completely living on your own and supporting yourself, no help from parents. period. Not only supporting yourself, but being able to put at least couple hundred in savings a month... for the unexpected bills every month. yes, there will be some EVERY month! lets put it this way. I&#039;m 20 with 2 kids.. and doing the math last night, pretty much basic no frills living.. it costs me about 1700 month to take care of me and my 2.

plus i bet you like having time to hang out with your friends right? might as well say goodbye to that when you have a baby, most of them will eventually stop talking to you because you dont have the freedom to go out when you want to anymore. your friends wont want to babysit for you.. and your parents wont do it that much either just to prove a point...

email me and i will give you a glimpse into my everyday life as a teen with kids... trust me. DONT DO IT!!

Answer 2

WOW , don&#039;t do it your way to young . You don&#039;t want to end up weird . Hope you make the right decision.

Answer 3

Don&#039;t do it. You could regret it for the rest of your life. You could get pregnant, STD&#039;s, or become an emotional wreck. You never know how you&#039;ll react. Having a child is not a thing like babysitting. You have to pay for everything that child needs, wake up with them at night, support them through school and relationships all while trying to grow up yourself. It&#039;s harder than you think. Having a child will alter the course of your life.

You may think you love him, but you&#039;re young. My brother started dating his girlfriend when he was the same age. She was a year or two younger than him. They lasted up until he turned 20 and they both started college. His girlfriend had changed so much from growing up and experiencing life on her own (her college is out of state, away form him) that she cheated on him and told him she never wanted to see him again. He was heartbroken. They had never had s*x.

Imagine how horrible it would be if you guys had s*x and the same happened to you? How guilty would you feel?

Make sure you marry the person who takes your virginity away from you. You only get one chance.

Answer 4

i am 14 too

and i am a virgin

and i am proud of that.

i have been with a guy for 3 years without braking up and we love each other alot. and we arent ready cause we are young. and i honestly think that you should wait. becareful if you do decide to have s*x

Answer 5

14 is not an age to be a mother. i don&#039;t think you can even have a job to be able to support a baby yet. Babysitting is alot different than having your own child.

Answer 6

You are 14.  You do not know that he is the one you want to be with.  You may want to be with him NOW, but 5 years from now you may be a totally different person and not have anything in common with this guy.  You said that &quot;he wants to have s*x when he comes here to visit...&quot;  you never said that you wanted to.  

On top of all that, you two are in completely different states and see each other in the summer.  It seems like he wants to make it worth his time coming home to get you to have s*x with him.  

You are 14.  Babysitting your 4 year old diabetic brother is NOTHING like being a mother and having your own child.  How do you expect to finish school if something &quot;goes wrong&quot; and you get pregnant?  You will have a hard time being a good mom and getting through school at the same time.  

Do your parents support your relationship with him?  If so, that is great.  There are so many things to think about before you do something like this.  Please think this through  A LOT before you go through with it, if you do.  This is a BIG decision that should not be taken lightly.

Answer 7

haha...i hope you know what you hafta go through when youre pregnant. you throw up, you cant eat properly, you get mood swings, your stomach hurts...its not something a 14 year old would be able to take. besides, you can get STDs and what will your parents think? what about school? can you take a newborn baby crying at full blast while you&#039;re desperately trying to finish that science project?

bottom line: YOU&#039;RE TOO YOUNG

Answer 8

Well..it doesnt matter if you can take care of your brother..you dont have to pay for him.  (Not that i was an angel) but 15 is too young for s*x.  Why would you be planning this far ahead anyway?

Answer 9

Just use a condom. I have been having s*x for years, use a condom EVERYTIME with a spermicide and never even had a pregnancy scare.

Answer 10

absoloutely not, your not old enough to realise what you want, or to know for sure that you are ready. your not old enough and it wouldnt be fair to a baby to not be brought up right. Sorry to be harsh, but its the truth, and if he doesnt like you saying no to the idea then you shouldnt be with him.

Answer 11

I don&#039;t think it is a good idea. All he  wants is s*x. IF you do get pregnant, that is so much money. All I have got to say is &quot;Do not Have s*x WIth Him, He is using U&quot;.

Goodluck, oh and if you do have s*x atleast use condoms and birth control..

Answer 12

If you&#039;re asking people here for advice then you really don&#039;t want to do it. You sound like you&#039;re trying to convince yourself that it&#039;s what you want.  Don&#039;t have s*x with him just to &#039;keep&#039; him, real long term relationships never work that way.  Good luck with your decision, but it sounds like you already know what the right answer is.

Answer 13

Girl. You are 14. Get a grip.

Answer 14

You have a year to think about it.

Baby-sitting your brother is completely different. If he&#039;s diabetic or not. You aren&#039;t paying the bills. You watching him for a couple hours.

You must be kididng halfway or something. Considering all the answers and questions that float around this site, you must KNOW what everyone is going to say.

Answer 15

if he is the right person he can wait

Answer 16

Look everyone is saying IF you get pregnant. Chances are if you take the right precautions then you won&#039;t. That being said  Here are four reasons why you shouldn&#039;t

1) It&#039;s a long distance realationship, you will have s*x then not see him for what? another year.

2) You either are or are going to be in high school. There are going to be alot of guys there that you will want to flirt with. Since your boyfriend is a half a country away you will want more attention from the boys at your school.

3) I don&#039;t feel you know all of the facts about s*x. (or anybody else that responded to you)

4) Wait for the year until he comes back. Maybe go see a counsler or visit a doctor in that years time.

Answer 17

Dont have s*x, wait a few more years... you to young!

Your still a kid, theres no way your body is ready for a baby....

Answer 18

I think you can make your own decisions, but your 14 hun.  14 is not an age to be a mother at.  You might think it could be possible for you to accomplish, but its much harder than you can imagine.  You cant even get a decent job that can support you and your baby, or even a house to live in (when your parents kick you out if you got pregnant)  Also, it seems like you dont really know your bf that well.  If he moved &quot;a couple of years ago&quot;, and you werent going out..then how can you be SURE that you love him enough to have s*x with him.  Its a big decision, and you want you first time to be special. Just be SURE that you want it to be with THIS guy, and that you wont regret it later. hope that helps =]

Answer 19

I suggest you go to this site and make an account: www.scarleteen.com

It&#039;s a great site with a lot of facts, information, and advice about s*x/life/health/etcetera. I think you&#039;ll find it useful.

Babysitting isn&#039;t like having a child of your own. You will need a steady flow of income, emotional assistance, and a lot of help along the way. Having a child really isn&#039;t a joke.

If you&#039;re going to go through with having s*x, you need to be prepared and use protection (birth control pill/condoms/spermicide). Also, make sure you&#039;re doing it because you&#039;re ready, not because your boyfriend wants to do so. A lot of girls become clingy to whoever they lose their virginity to. Are you prepared to go through this, especially if your boyfriend lives more than half way across the country?

Like I said, go check out that site. They won&#039;t judge you, and you will get real facts, not just biased opinions.

Good luck. :)

Answer 20

Please don&#039;t do it. It is so worth it to wait! At 15 you are NOT ready to be a mother if something does go wrong. s*x is not just some game, it is a celebration of true love. So until your married to this guy, you shouldn&#039;t do it, especially if you don&#039;t truly want to. You are too young to even think about doing that. Enjoy being a kid!

Answer 21

at 14 i was not thinking about s*x and neither should you. however if you do just use protection and dont be stupid about it.

Answer 22

if u believe it is time and you make sure he is the righ guy then sure go for it but make sure not to have any regrets and good luck

much love

Barbie

Answer 23

Well I&#039;m 15 and if I were you I wouldn&#039;t be having s*x at 14.  I don&#039;t even wanna have s*x right now or anytime soon.  You might think you&#039;re ready to be a mother if anything does happen...but it&#039;s probably going to be alot harder than you think.  But if you do decide to have s*x [which I don&#039;t reccommend] be careful!

Answer 24

You need to slow down. No you shouldn&#039;t have s*x and you just need to be a kid right now. You shouldn&#039;t even think about being a mom at 14 years old.

When I was your age I was always trying to act like and adult but now I regret it. I wish I just tried to be a kid for as long as possible. I really do believe that you shouldn&#039;t have s*x right now.

Didn&#039;t you ever want to go anywhere? Go somewhere without having to worry about someone back at home every minute when you are away from them.

Just think about this long and hard and I wish you the best of luck and hope you make the right decision!

Answer 25

Ok, you need to understand that babysitting your brother for 7 hours is NOTHING compared to being a mother for 24/7, like would you really want to take that risk at 14 years old? You also need to understand that you have no means to support yourself or the baby if God forbid you were to get pregnant.

You need to plan ahead if you plan to go through with this, because you need to think about every possible outcome of this action, and see if it is worth risking it. I&#039;m 16 and my boyfriend is 17, and we&#039;ve talked about having s*x for a long time, and we thought about what could happen and decided not to go through with it.

Hope i helped!

Answer 26

Moo4freedom what the **** are you saying she&#039;s 14.Get a grip.Ok listen hun its dangerous and you should wait till marrage you&#039;ll regret having a baby.Trust me.Just don&#039;t gp that route!!

Answer 27

MY advice would be to wait a little longer...this is a long distance relationship and you never know how those will end up. If he is wanting to have s*x when he visits and you get pregnant then that means you probably won&#039;t find out you are until he has gone back to NC..then what?? You will have to go through it alone until he visits again and then hope he is going to move back when the baby is born. Not only that but who is to say he just wants to have s*x and when he gets it from you he does not cut you out of his life completely?

Also one more point...I know that you may feel ready to be a mom because you take care of your brother for 7 hours but look at it this way...you oly sit your brother for 7 hours a day...if it were your own child it would be 24/7 365 days a year for the rest of your life...that means if something happens in the middle of the night it won&#039;t be your parents who have to get up and tend to it...it will be you and no matter how little sleep you&#039;ve gotten you will STILL have to get up with baby. Your whole life is completely about baby...no longer about you...and you do not get breaks when you are a mother...when you are sick..tough dodo you still have to take care of baby,when you are tired..tough,when you have to go somewhere you have to take baby...its a non stop commitment and alot of people think they are ready for it until it happens and then they wish they would have waited a little longer.

You really need to think about this a little longer and weigh all the pros and cons of having s*x with someone you are in a long distance relationship with because the cons really outweigh the pros...

Best of Luck

Answer 28

I hope you decide to wait. It sounds as if you have talked about it and all.  I don&#039;t know when you think this may happen (next summer?) but so much can change, please don&#039;t waste your precious innocence wondering about when you will have s*x. It will happen when the time is right

You are probably a good caregiver for your brother, but that is so different from having a child.  My friends who had kids in their teens ALL wish they would have waited.

Answer 29

This is a fish story....You are just goofing.

Isn&#039;t working.

Answer 30

if you think you are ready then ok but you should really think about it! condoms and birth control dont always work take it from me i know. are you sure that hes the one?? and are you &quot;really&quot; ready to be a mother? its harder then just taking care of your brother for 7 hours!!

Answer 31

I was 15 when I lost my virginity to a 20 year old and he lived almost 8 hours away from me...It wasnt long after he went back home that he found someone new and there I was vulnerable and sad. I dont suggest you lose your virginity to someone that far away when you have no idea how loyal he is and if he really loves you....I can almost guarentee that with your virginity, he&#039;ll take your heart too. It took me almost 3 years to get over.