Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband?

Question

So we reached the one year mark and we are technically defines as sexless. Husband is young and obese and we did not have s*x before marriage. (was I soooooo wrong!!!!). I married him becuase I love him, but he does not take care of his physique. Man b***s and beer belly is a turnoff. Regardless of his weight he is a great man. I was more attracted to him before marriage. Now that I have to ask for s*x and practically justify it I want it less. I am not being as attracted to him as a result of this emotional distress. I can see past the man b***s and belly but it all seems to be magnified when he lacks the drive or spontaneity a young man like him should have. I have begun resenting him. During this year we went sexless for 2 months and 4months and basically had s*x once every 40 days. We had very little to no s*x a 2 week honeymoon. What gives? Many men have high six drives, his libido is low. Could it be hormonal imbalance? Help!

Answer 1

Why don't you both go running. Enjoy eachothers company. be his personal trainer.

Answer 2

Awh i know how you feel, and my boyfriend and i usual are always at it but whats sad is i always know there something wrong when hes not in the mood ='[ then we usual end up breaking up.

Answer 3

when a man gets fat he get lazy. you need to talk to him about this or it will get out of control. maybe he's stressed over something.

Answer 4

Tell him to loose some weight and get his act together or your done trust me you deserve better and a successful marriage needs s*x

Answer 5

wow no s*x after 1 year, thats unheard of

Answer 6

Ok, dont give up so quickly.

You weren't wrong for waiting! Giving urself to ur husband and only him is one of the greatest gifts.

Here are things you can do for him:

-Be supportive.

-Join a gym.

-Cook healthy meals.

-Go for walks.

You need to show you care about his health and him. You want him to be around for a long time.

I am sure the physical attration will come back, once he gets some confidence in himself.

Secondly, you really must talk to him about this.

If he is unwilling, then drag him to counseling. You guys need to talk, or it will only get worse.

True, he should have a greater s*x drive, however, he may not feel attractive or s**y.

If all else fails, and you are miserable, then I suppose a divorce could be discussed. Even that fear of losing u may make him pep up and start getting healthy.

Just remember, do it with him. Change with him. And he will want to, knowing you are doing it too.

Best of luck!

Answer 7

It's the weight. He has no energy for it.  

Answer 8

Mary, when I met my wife 24 years ago, she was the youngest cutest girl you ant to meet. Now she is overweight and changed. She is not that pretty girl physically, but inside of her she is still the same cute girl I met 24 years ago.

We accept change and still love each other no matter what.

Answer 9

try euphoria pheromone perfume, it'll increases his senses a bit more..

for him, he needs to see a doctor who will deal with his low s*x drive...

talk to him as to why he doesn't want to meet up to your sexual satisfaction... i know it's a lot to ask for, maybe he really really feels tired out when he does have s*x with you and it's hard on his body. Only because he doesn't care for it. He probably feels more worse having s*x (due to tiredness, high blood pressure problems (?), frustration and extreme perspiration) would probably overwhelm his sexual arousal.

honestly, when it comes to taking care of his body-- you have to do something about it and convince him in doing so..

when u prepare meals, give him healthy food..

when it comes to buying groceries, don't give him the money, you buy the food and make sure the snacks and everything are healthy and good for his heart and body.

When he goes out and buys food, particularly junk food, SMACK HIM!! And u should make him give you all of the money that he earned-- so u can control the finances.. o.o;;

food also helps out s*x drive.. spicy food tends to increase s*x drive.

check out s*x guru. it's a website full of very informative details about s*x and s*x drives and human psychology.

Answer 10

Man b***s says it all. The guy has lost some serious testosterone and is drenched in ESTROGEN.

No ****! He needs to get to the gym. probably easier said, than can be done, especially if he has never been the type of person to work out in the first place! What about you, are you all toned and looking good? If not, the two of you should get to a gym. And as time goes on, the testosterone should come flooding back in, thus given him a s*x drive again.

Which brings me to another thought. You said that you never had s*x before marriage, because.,..... you both were just "waiting" or he's never tried? Either way, that's tuff because now you're thinking IS THIS IT?

Well, if this helps any, I totally understand because you're not alone. My marriage is the same way. And you know what, it doesn't get any better, at least not with me it hasn't. We are on our 8th year of marriage and I've come to live with it, mainly because I have two kids. But who knows maybe one day we'll just split up and move on with our lives.

Anyway, you're in a tuff position and I feel for you. Good luck

Answer 11

Sounds like a lack of control - he can't control his urge to eat. His lack of a s*x drive could be a result of his obesity. He should seek counseling and if you have any feelings for him you will support him - but you should give him an ultimatum - counseling and weight loss or bye bye.

Answer 12

He's g*y and married you as his cover. Move along.

Answer 13

he could be g*y