Sexual abuse. What do I say to her? ?

Question

My friend told me that years ago her mums old boyfriend would sexually abuse her. I've tried to make her tell her mum but she wont. What should I do to support her and make her tell her mum?

Whenever I bring it up she just says "oh no don't worry, your problems are way worse than mine" ( cause i told her about alot of problems I've had/have at home) and she never talks about it either.

What can I do or say to make her feel better and cheer up?

Answer 1

Just keep on telling her to tell her mom,that's all you can do.....and whatever you do u stay out of it.meaning you don't tell your mom and her mom.she trust u.and she has to tell her mom.

good luck

Answer 2

hi, well shes got you as someone she can confide in, and she will tell you as and when she fells comfortable, shes lucky to have someone like you to listen you must be a good friend.

Answer 3

"Sexual Abuse" covers a lot of territory.  Ask her if she feels it is necessary to talk to someone and you will help her find someone. (Not a school counselor, maybe a priest).  If she declines your offer then stop talking about it.  

Most girls are "sexually abuse" during their life time, when you use the legal terms of the law.  The Smart girl that was abducted and raped for 6 months.  She wrote that she was not going to let it wreck her whole life.  Good advice I do believe.

Answer 4

OKay well when i was a little girl i was abused by my parents worker.

and i never told anybody for 2 years.

and the best thing i can tell you

is say that you care alot about your friend

and you would hate to see her get hurt and

if she doesnt tell anybody about the sexual abuse it will keep happening again.

so tell your fiend to stand up for herself

and put an end to it right away.

Answer 5

i was sexually abused.. i never told anyone then one day i did tell my friend she sid tell your parents i coudnt..... you cant force your friend to talk about it the only thing you can do is be there for when she does want to talk to you.

somedays i feel better and i dont feel asthough i want to talk about it  but there is a days .. it might come out the blue..when i feel down and need my friend to talk to..

Answer 6

you need to tell your own mum or someone that you trust so that the problem is taken from your young shoulders. then she or whoever may be able to talk to your friend's mum. don't wait any longer. you need to tell someone now  

Answer 7

she will talk when shes ready.  just bet here for her is all u can do for now.  

Answer 8

Tell your mum.  Or tell her mum.  Please tell someone.

This problem is not to be taken lightly, and she needs to acknowledge it with someone who understands this better than she does.  If this man gets away with it, he obviously has some bizarre sexual preferences and will be attacking other children.  He is a danger to society, it is against the law and he should be locked up.

A friend of mine was sexually abused for years by her step father.  Her mother never knew anything about it until my friend plucked up the courage at 18 to do something about it.  The repercussions were awful.  My friend had to go through massive counselling, to fix the brainwashing, restore her confidence, accept that it actually happened to her and repair her obviously broken relationship with her mother.

Things like this stay with you forever, if your friend doesn't address it, it could influence her attitude in a negative manner altogether, which is a real shame.  She has the right to be happy.

Answer 9

She probably should have counseling of some type.  Either with a school counselor, a psychologist or clergy person.  I'm sure it is extremely difficult for her to tell her mum.  So, going to a trusted older friend or relative may be the way to  start.  That person can help to support her telling her mum.

Answer 10

Crystal is right. She may not want to talk about it right now, and that's okay. What she went though was horribly traumatic and when she is ready to talk about it, she will. Just let her know that you're there for her, and that if she needs you for support you'll always be there.  

Answer 11

She will talk when she wants too...but having gone through this and because of her age...You need to tell your Mom or hers,it could be something still going on...I didn't realize the age when I gave you my first comment...Looking back I wish I'd have said something sooner,I was 22 before I told

(it happened 10-16)then I had to fight my stepdad off from that point...and I didn't realize how affected I would stay into adulthood...Make her tell if not you need too...she may be mad but I promise you later she will Thank you..I'm 31 have 3 daughters and I still breakdown sometimes about this,IT NEVER GOES AWAY...Please make her tell,she doesn't know any better right now...If I could go back I'd have told the first time it happened...Your her friend and you have to help her...

****Also,since I told too late,now I can't file charges...You only have so many years to do that...So what he's free to do it again?****

Answer 12

Talking from personal experience... DONT try and make her tell her mum. If she wanted to and felt she could she would have done it by now. If you try and make her tell someone she will push you away. She probably just wants to forget it ever happened and move on with her life. Dragging up something like this can make things worse and she is probably scared her mum wont believe her. The best thing you can do is make sure she knows that you are there for her and that she can trust you NOT to tell anyone. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone something like that. Just listen to her if she wants to talk thats all you can really do.