Sexual and physical abuse?

Question

I have spent my life trying to get over the effects of this but still feel that as a society we brush it under the carpet. both my parents independently tried to kill me but it is as if it never happened and i feel increasingly invisible like tinkerbell when no one is clapping. I see that more energy is given to hating perpetrators than trying to understand just what it does to a survivor. I feel that the way I am damaged is a social construct and that we sweep away the extent of this

social epidemic with weird ideas about paedophiles. I was born in the forties and it was a fact of life then - a deadly secret. What do you think of this social ostrichism? I doubt that there is a family in the land untainted by abuse/ What sort of society do you think our secrecy has led to?

Answer 1

i agree with you, more human rights are given to the perpetrators than  the vicitims these days, it's wrong i see it as you commit a crime and go to prison you forfeit your rights and become a sheep in prison.

Also to solve a problem you first have to admit you have one and many of these criminals don't believe they do. they are not mental they are perfectly sane just sick in another way!!!

i hope you can go to a counsellor and get past your issues, understanding you are not alone and in time things will change. Your very strong and i applaud you for talking about this subject

Answer 2

why dont you see a psychiotrist?

Answer 3

I agree that more energy is given to perpetrators, certainly with the media because it sells more newspapers and we are a materialistic society driven by market forces. There's just no profit in highlighting the effects of abuse on the victims, the stories of the years of recovery are too uncomfortable (unless there is significant enough details to allow voyeurism).

I agree that there are very few families affected by abuse of children, and there is still a stigma attached to it for the extended family members which leads to attempts to quieten the victims and leave more children vulnerable to abuse.

Please don't feel alone or invisible. you are a very strong person. Your life is of significance, especially to those members of your family that love you.

Please search for a support group in your area. I know how difficult it can be, but it will make a difference - you will be amongst people who really understand you and will accept you as the valuable human being that you are.

As for society, it is led by market forces that do not value the individual, but there are individuals who within that society who will value you and what you have to offer.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to u but i totally agree, we keep things hush hush far to often, it's taboo and it shouldn't be! once the perpetrators are out of the picture people just expect the abused to get on with it, ' right it's in the past now, so it should never be mentioned again'...but i think that's how the abused never feel justice, if you just continue to ignore it,then it's like the whole thing never came out in the first place.

Answer 5

yes i went through sexual abuse and neglect and physical abuse and this was in the 70's and when i started talking about it in the 80's most of the time i was not believed or told i shouldn't talk about it...put in remedial classes at school etc,i think its a mass form of denial if people don't talk about it then it just isn't happening.

the worse thing is the ever lasting effects it has on somebody and their entire life,prison sentences are pathetic if abusers get caught..i just always talk about it so others have the strentgh to do the same that's all i can do so i will never ever keep quiet and make sure society knows whats going on.

much respect to you and i hope you have managed some  healing and achieved to love in your life x*x