Shady daycare...?

Question

This is kind of a weird question to ask...I have a roommate who has a 4-year-old in daycare. Where I live there are regulations for child care facilities (saying that they have a ratio of 1:10) does every day care need to follow this? And when he comes home he has scratches and blemish marks on him that we know weren't there when he was dropped of and no one says anything. And today he came home and had a stain on the back of his shirt that was very suspisious...it looked like sperm. We don't want to jump to any conclusions but there is an older gentlemen that works there and seems to not be 100% "there". What should we do (if anything)?

Answer 1

If you seriously think this stain looked like sperm, I would have things formally checked out. Leaving the child in a place where you have even the smallest suspicion of sexual abuse would be irresponsible. Take the shirt to the police, and ask them to have it tested for bodily fluids. You might also have the boy take to a child psychologist- he or she would be able to determine if something shady was going on around the boy at daycare. -Neb

Answer 2

If you are questioning it at all, you should just change daycares.  Also call DHS.

Answer 3

The parents can calmly ask the boy about his day and what kind of play he does there.  

Old s***n has a definite odor that an adult should be able recognize.  I think bluntness is appropriate here.  The child must be protected and there is no need to accuse an innocent person, if it is something like old salad dressing.

They can also go to the police with their concerns.  They can certainly test the spot, if they feel it is warranted.  They can due a discrete investigation.

Again, the child's safety is the first concern.  The protection is other child is highly important

Addendum:  I just saw your additional remarks.  I do not mean to accuse someone falsely. I do not have any direct knowledge of the facts.  The first concern is still the safety of the child.  Child molestation within walking distance is not a benefit.  Check things out with the authorities.

Answer 4

In my area, if you have a problem with your daycare, you can contact your local DHS and they will send a worker out to investigate to make sure that the daycare is in compliance with all rules and regulations.  Make sure you mention the suspicious stain to them so that they will know to look into that man's background, etc.  If I were in your position and had these concerns, that in itself would be enough for me to place my child in a different daycare.  You always would rather be safe than sorry when it comes to your children.

Answer 5

Your roomate has an obligation to her child to keep him safe so yes you should check ths out. I would suggest one of you stay the day there to check it all out what goes on... maybe the people are stupid enough to actually do something wrong or at least get some answers as to what is goin on. If worse comes to worse you could HIRE someone to go in their as a spy lol i know that sounds retarded but maybe you could catch some stuff on camera or not but hey!!!!!!! anything for a loved one :)

Answer 6

Wait outside or something and try to talk to others who take there kids there. You might try putting a voice recorder in his bag or a small pocket like on carpenter jeans.

Yes definatly make an unanounced visit.

Be careful and don't do or say anything hasty while there are kids there. You can't trust people.

Answer 7

If I couldn't drop my son off and be TOTALLY confident he was being cared for in the best manner, I would not leave him there.

Answer 8

Ok, if you suspect something like that, first, have the shirt analyzed pronto. If that is in fact s***n on his shirt, he needs to be arrested. It is horrifying how many pedophiles/predators work or live at daycares... You need to look into this and not worry about jumping to conclusions!!

Add: Something REALLY alarmed me about what you described. Your roommate KNOWS her child is coming home from "daycare" with marks on his body that weren't there prior to going... he has what looks like s***n on his shirt... a man who works there is "off" and there is even a question?!?!?!! WHAT THE h**l is going to be the tipping point???

That boy needs to get yanked now due to the fact that, as the old saying goes, it is better to be safe than sorry... what if that little boy IS being sexually, physically,  emotionally, etc abused there and will be until he gets out of there??? I'm sorry, this is one subject I am VERY sensitive about and can't stand when people, not wanting to accuse someone, just sit on their hands while feeding their young, helpless children to wolves in sheep's clothing-and KNOW they are most likely doing just that!!!

Your roommate needs to step up and be a parent now and protect her child from what MAY be happening to him...

Answer 9

Make an unnanounced visit to the daycare, to see what is going on.  If it looks suspicous, change daycares and report this one  :)

Answer 10

Yes you should do something Pull the child out if you think it is not being cared for in  the way you feel it should be. If you feel the gentlemen is not completly there then do not leave your child there.  As for regulations it all depends if they are just a person watching kids for money under the table or if they have a tax id and reporting to the irs.  

If it is licenced and you feel you do not feel the facility is doing right then report them to your local dhs or police.

Answer 11

I just wanted to say that it is your roommate's decision to send her child to that daycare.  If I felt uncomfortable in anyway with the people watching my children, I would never take them there again.  End of story.   If I thought that someone watching my children was incompetent I would not allow them to watch them.  I have certain family members that I know would not ever harm my children but they are also not going to babysit because I am not 100% sure they would do a good enough job for me.  As far as turning them in,  that is up to you, but I think it is strange to turn them in and still leave your child there.