Shaking and crazy heartbeat during argument or fight situation. How do I beat this? It's very embarrassing.

Question

I get these symptoms and they make me look like a real wuss and makes me feel weak and paralyzed. Most of the time I'm not consciously afraid/panicky, but my body responds the way it wants...and this is unacceptable. I understand the whole fight or flight response, but I want to control my physiological reaction to it. I really need help. This is killing my self-esteem.

I think you martial arts guys are the best people to ask for advice, since *I think* this is part of your training.

Answer 1

yes how to keep your controll in situations is part of it unfortunately the part you have to learn for yourself...for me it just kinda happened i used to get the same thing still kinda do cause of adrenaline...yay adrenaline....but just breathe properly and stay focused on being relaxed i guess sorry i cant remember exactly how i started it...hope it helps...

Answer 2

It sounds like you have anxiety issues... I do all the same, but I'll say no more cause I'm sure if that's what you are referring to.

Answer 3

Others have pretty much covered why it happens. It is called the fight or flight response, and every animal has it. It is a natural reaction that we can't stop, and is designed to help us survive.

The only real way to control it is to put yourself in pressure situations. Breathing and focus are a big part of it, but you have to be taught how to breathe correctly. One way is to join a school and start martial arts training, Whether it is competing in tournaments, hard sparring in class, a very hard test for your next stripe or belt, being put into these pressure situations will help you learn to control your reaction, althogh the shaking might nevre go away entirely, it should get less noticable.

Some of the main reactions to the fight or flight is your breathing becomes very shallow, you tend to get locked into tunnel vision, and your fine motor skills deteriorate. This is natural and every one has it.

The best way to learn to use it, because all you can really control is how you use it, is to find a way to put yourself under pressure situations, and learn correct breathing. there is no magic cure only hard work and practice. ANother thing that can be done is to picture what the worst possible thing that can happen or result from th situation is, and accept it. this lessens the fear and helps you control it.

Answer 4

The only way I can think of you changing the phisical response is to keep puting yourself under the pressure, other than that if someone your having an argument with points out that "your shaking like a wuss" I would reply with a firm "thats because im ready to kick your ***!"

If you want to put yourself under the same sort of pressure join a full contact martial art where you can fight in a controlled environment, maybe start with non-contact and work your way up, or just get into lots of argumentsm knowing you can take care of yourself will help you somewhat but its not the same as being in the situation

Answer 5

I'm able to stay VERY calm in the worst situations like fights or life or death emergencies. The worst thing you can do is panic all it's going to do is make things worse. Your shaking and "crazy" heartbeat is probably due to increased adrenaline. You need to learn to control your body. I am able to control my heart beat. I can speed it up or slow it down. Just breath deep and slow in your nose and out your mouth. In Ninjutsu we are taught to calm ourselves by crossing our fingers (a specific type of hand symbol) and udder a phrase (I can not tell it to you). Unless you know Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu (Ninjutsu) just BREATH!!!!!!! and try to relax.

Answer 6

Well it sounds like you're just getting really anxious and nervous during those situations. Yes, martial arts train you to stay calm and focused during a confrontation, but you can only learn so much about that from another person. Its something that you just need to teach yourself.

Question: Have you ever actually been in a fight? Ever been punched in the face? What I'm saying is this: I played football, and I was always nervous before games but as soon as I hit someone or got hit, I settled down and went back on what I'd learned.

Sometimes that contact is enough to make you realize that you can take a hit, and you don't have to be so worried about what might happen. If you want to control yourself better, find some people and spar with them, get used to people attacking you (even if it is just practice) and learn that you can handle a confrontation and defend yourself if you have to.

"Fight or flight" is a natural reaction, you'll always have it. The question is whether you look at it as a bad thing, or as a way of being more alert and ready for what might come your way.

Answer 7

Your adrenal glands are out of control.

One thing you have to look at is your caffeine intake. Maybe you don't drink coffee but if you drink colas all day, it's even worst!

Eliminate sugar too. Use Brown Rice Syrup and Agave syrup to sweeten foods. They're both low glycemic index carbohydrates.

Find a Yoga or Chigung class to help you calm down.

Answer 8

Well if oyu get use to intesnse situations like that youi wouldnt get as nervous.  When i started wrestling i would be extremely nervous and shakey before a match.  Just to much adrenaline, i couldnt stand it.  But eventually after a few matches i could control it and look composed....

Answer 9

Ghost Scribble is on the right path.  As are many others.  The adrenaline rush can cause the shaking, rapid heart rate, weak and paralyzed feelings.  The trick is to learn and control your breath and center your mental focus.  Then it will be easier for you to recognize when you are heading in that direction of adrenaline surge and then move.  Quick.  If you can get moving whether that be aggressively or simply getting out of dodge, before the full adrenaline rush you can use it to your advantage, just be prepared for the crash afterwards.  If however you do not start to ride the wave as it comes in it will simply toss you to and fro like a leaf upon the water.

As to how do you learn to control your breath and mental focus?  Practice.  That's what katas and sparring are for.  Some people prefer running and finding the runner's high.  There are other more "risky" sports like rock climbling or sky diving that can give you that rush.  Find something safe that you can enjoy that can improve your cardio performance while giving you a chance to experience that adrenaline rush safely.