Sharing bed w/ child and the person you are 'dating'?

Question

How do you feel about the idea of sharing your bed with your child and the person whom you are dating?

In a situation where all three parties are very close, and the child sees the other person as part of their 'family' ; and the child falls asleep/stays asleep better when this third person is involved in their bedtime routine.

Is this ok? Or should this sort of behavior be avoided completely.

Answer 1

I personally think it's ok. My fiancee used to date a girl and she had a son who slept with her. The three of them all slept in the bed together. But he was very young (under a year) with an older child it might be weird.

Answer 2

Avoided completely.

Answer 3

It should be avoided if possible.  I have hit that bump a few times with my boys.  They had me all to themselves for a long time after their father left then about a year ago I started dating again.  My oldest son is now 6 and my youngest now 3 1/2 and they both had a hard time adjusting to me having my boyfriend spending the night.  It took them I would say 3 months to get use to it and they hated having to sleep in a different room because they were so use to if they got scared they would just climb in my bed.  They did get use to it eventually but only because I would get out of my bed and go back to their bed to lay with them while they fall back to sleep. I know if my ex-husband even thought that the boys were in bed with me and my boyfriend he would throw a fit and I wouldn't want the boys sleeping in the bed with him and his girlfriend either.  

Answer 4

Avoided.  Absolutely.  He may be viewed as family but the fact remains that he isn't.  It is completely unhealthy that your child be sleeping in the same bed with your boyfriend!  It is too close of a physical relationship for your child to be having with him.  

I notice that you were careful to not mention the child's gender...could it be that it's because the 'child' is a girl and you knew it would bias people more strongly?  

Quite frankly it doesn't matter...while this would be more natural if it were a child sleeping with their biological parents, this is a completely unhealthy, unnatural position for your child to be in when it comes to your boyfriend.  This should stop immediately...and maybe you knew that which is why you asked, if you knew it were right it wouldn't occur to you to get opinions on it...?  I don't know...but it's a very bad idea.

Answer 5

you should avoid it.

Answer 6

I don't like the idea. Unless the person is their parent they have no business being in a bed with a child.

if i was a father and found out another man was in the same bed with my child i would freak!

Answer 7

  I've never thought anything of it actually. My ex partners son used to get in bed with us wen he was younger, and it all seemed perfectly natural as I thought of him as a son. I thing it depends on the relationship. I am single now with 2 children and i dont think i would let them come in bed with me if I had  a fella staying over, but then I would not introduce my kids to a guy unless it was going somewhere, in which case I would like them all to be close.

  If the relationship between them and the children is like that of a parent and child I think it would be OK, but ONLY if that were the case, not with every new partner that came along.