She's been sulking all week! What to do?

Question

I'm a single dad of a 13 year old daughter. She just broke up with her boyfriend on Sunday. All week she's been in her room. She'll eat a little in front of me, but I've seen her sneak food up to her room. I feel really bad for her. This is her first boyfriend which means first break up. Apparently he dumped her for another girl. I tried talking to her and so did her "big sister"(she's in the Big Sister/Big Brother program)and even her therapist tried, but she wouldn't say a lot.

I miss my daughter's smile. What can I do? Should I take her to do something fun or try to talk to her again?

Thanks!

Answer 1

Try going to do something fun.  My dad raised me after my mom died. It took awhile for me to come around.  I really didn't think he understood what I was going through.  At that age, you feel you are the only one.  He just took me to fun places.  When I felt comfortable, I talked.  Sometimes I didn't.  Sometimes I would write him letters and leave them.  Just take your time and don't worry too much.

Answer 2

try telling her she will find someone very special one of these days she is only 13 she will come around the first breakup is always the hardest  she is very special and she will find someone who will care for her hope she gets better

Answer 3

She's so young!  And she will get through this, but you telling her that will probably make it worse.  So yes, take her out to do something fun, just the two of you...and keep the ex out of the conversation.  Continue to praise her for her positive traits, whether they are personality qualities or appearance-based (without getting too graphic, obviously).  Don't talk about the ex, other boys...talk about her, how great she is, how much you value her, and how much you love her smile!  Best wishes.

Answer 4

It just takes time ,if she is still like that in a few more days ,try to get her out of the house like take her shopping!

Answer 5

Loving dad,

A girl is different to a boy, that's why you find it difficult to understand as a girl is always a mystery, don't you feel that?

I strongly recommend you not to leave her alone to solve her problem. She will feel really lonely and alone.

So, come to her, but don't try to talk to her, try to listen to her. You got what I mean? Try to make conversation, and then when she starts her story, don't interrupt or give suggestion or advice. Just let her flow, but keep listening, try to feel what she is feeling.

Don't be panic or tired when she gets more dipressed, keep listening, more and more, it is normal that she will get more dipressed, may be she cry in a way that she will not able to continue talking, let it be, hug her.

Do that, for a week, she will be ok.

So the clue is, don't tell her, forget that man, but let her talk about that man as many times as she wish, that's the way we success in solving our problem.

Answer 6

You're a good dad.

Take her back to school shopping and spend the day with her.  If you don't pay attention to that issue she'll forget about it more easily.  She really just has to get over it herself.  

Answer 7

bring her out for family outting or just give her sometimes to calm down herself..tell her how lucky she is..that she has broke up with this guy...and tell her that she is so lucky that now she is single and she got the chance to meet with another guys..who is better..tell her tat she is young for all this...and tell her she will definitely will met her mr.right in the future.

Answer 8

Don't force the issue to talk about the break up. Talk about the fun times and reminisce she will get over it if you can make her laugh she will get over it sooner.

Answer 9

You sound like a great dad that loves your daughter very much. You've tried everything, aka- maybe too much. When you're a 13-year-old girl and you have adolescent problems, the last thing you want is for your dad to be poking around, then sending in a friend, then sending in a therapist- all within a week even if you are trying to help. Breakups are hard and normal. Give it a little time and a little space. Let you know that you're there for her and she can talk to you about anything then back off and let her work through it herself.

With that said, if she is so sulky that she is disrespectful you might have to try some tough love. Let her know you love her and want to give her space but family dinners are required and 20 hours a day in her room is not acceptable. You'd be amazed how teenagers respond to loving discipline. Good luck.  

Answer 10

Its not really that bad she'll get over him. Make her do something with her girl friends.

swimming

the mall

a movie

anything will work

Answer 11

give her some time but spoil her with treats  

Answer 12

At13 she is too young to have a boyfriend to begin with anyway...way too young and immatgure to date.  I suggest leaving her alone however you need a rule about no food in bedrooms, unless you want to start attracting mice and cockroaches to your home.  

Answer 13

Aaaww, poor thing! That's rough for a girl, I was depressed for a long time after my first break-up, but she's young enough, she should "get over" it pretty fast. My 11 yr' old son had a lil crush, she moved and he was sad for a couple weeks. Her friends will make her feel better, believe me. It's great that you tried to talk to her(can't hurt), altho-I never could have talked to my Dad!!LOL..You're doing everything exactly as you should, she just needs a little time, keep an eye on her, and give her some time. It's awful to see our kids in pain, I know! Good luck to you both...

Answer 14

get her some hallucinogetic drugs

Answer 15

well if it was her first boyfriend than i can understand her being depressed for a little bit, especially for another girl. but chances are that she will just grow out of it and get a new one.  if she is REALLY depressed make sure that she sees her therapist a lot

Answer 16

Well, when i had my first break up, my mom took me and my best girl friends to the mall to go clothes and shoe shopping. then she took me to a salon and got my hair colored, cut and styled and my nails done. i felt fabulous with my new look. she rented me and my friends a bunch of movies and bought us some frozen pizza's for the weekend. that really made me forget my sorrows lol. i got myself a new boyfriend a couple weeks later and forgot all about that other boy. this will pass, but friends always made it better for me.

Answer 17

13-14-15 are very hard years for girls.  Try to get her mind on other stuff, she'll come around...be prepared....more of this sulkiness to come...

Answer 18

Leave it.

Everyone goes through their first breakup.

I'm 13, and I would just leave her.

Maybe go buy some of her favourite food so she can sneak that to her room. : ]

Answer 19

First, she has the right answer.  She should stay in her room.  Why does she have a boyfriend at 13?  At 13, she's too young to be worrying about boyfriends.  As is evident in her reaction.

Answer 20

All girls have been there. Ask her to invite friends over. Rent movies and let her friends stay the night. When girls have girl problems its usually easier to talk to friends then dads. Just let her know that you are there for her and then give her a little freedom with her friends. :)