She asked if it was his baby...is that rude?

Question

My boyfriend and I bought a house a couple of years ago. We keep the majority of our neighbors at an am arm's length, but others our age come over every now and then.

We now have a 4 month old daughter. My boyfriend and I have never gone our separate ways and I by no means have guys over to the house while he isn't there.

One of our neighbors, who is probably 15 years older than us, saw him with our daughter yesterday. He normally has her at the house w/ him on just his days off while I work, but he has this whole week off. When she asked to see the baby, the neighbor said "she's gorgeous; is she yours?"

This lady knows we live together, and everyone says the baby looks a lot like him. What was she trying to do? Is it rude to ask that question, under our circumstances?

Answer 1

She may not have meant it how you are interpreting.  She may have been asking if that was his baby, as opposed to his niece or a friends kid.  She may have known you two had a child, but if this is the first time she has seen the baby up close, she may have just wanted to know for sure!

Makes it much less awkward than saying "Oh your baby is just adorable and looks just like you!!" Only to embarrassingly find its not even their kid

Answer 2

I think she was probably just wondering. If you're young she may have thought it could have been a child (sibling, cousin, etc) visiting, and if she doesn't see him with her often she might just not have made the connection. I wouldn't be offended by it.

Answer 3

well, she could have meant different things by that...

1) is that you and your girlfriends' baby? i mean, your busband could be this baby's uncle or something else....

2) is she your baby? are you sure you're her biological father?

if what she meant was the second one, then yes, it's extremely rude. it's not her place to ask that. but honestly, she could have meant the first one... very possible and there is nothing wrong with that question.

Answer 4

Its probably just the way she is.  Some people dont think before they open their mouths.  Just let it go over your head.  She probably didnt mean anything by it or think that it could have been someone elses.  You will probably never hear that comment ever again.

Answer 5

I wouldn't make a big fuss over it.

She may not know you guys live together..the whole neighborhood doesn't know your business.

It could be considered a little rude but like I said, ignore the comment.People will be nosy!

Answer 6

maybe she was trying to start conversation.  

Answer 7

Well...i am 22 and have a scheduled C section comming up on Sept 5th. I get ALOT of judgement as to whether or not my baby was planned...are we married....how long we been together...etc etc. Mostly dirty looks from older people...bc they dont take the time to ask..they assume! A--holes! LOL So anywho...We are married...we have been together for like 7 years...and yes she was planned. I dont know your situation...but if they see you living together....and your young...and maybe they dont see a ring on him or you...they assume bad things bc they dont know. I woldnt say its rude...i'd say its someone who is too ignorant to really address the topic in a nice way...unless thats what she was doing? I'd be offended...but i;d also chuck it up as people assume the stereotype.

Good luck girl!

:)

Answer 8

That is not rude.  I think you're over-reacting.  This is probably the first time she saw your boyfriend and your daughter.  Instead of jumping into conclusions, she's just asking a friendly question.  Some people get offended when the kid is not theirs but people automatically say it's yours.

Answer 9

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she didn't even notice you were pregnant and had a child.

I have no clue what's going on with most of my neighbors and if I saw one with a child I wouldn't automatically assume it was theirs; however, I also wouldn't ask.

Answer 10

No, it's not rude. If you're shacking up, it's a logical question.