She borrowed it, and now it is going to cost me $50 to fix it...Help?

Question

I let a friend borrow a beautiful Qui Pao (sp?) from me a few years ago. This is a traditional Chinese dress, made from red and black silk, that I ordered from China, and had to have special tailored.

So, she wore it on a night out, and I have NO IDEA what she DID in this thing, but it was returned to me SHREDDED. The hem was ripped out, the seams were strained open, and the sleeve was half ripped off.

I was momentarily disgusted, but put it in a bag in my closet and hadn't thought of it since. We have remained friends.

I am moving, and ran across it. I took it to a tailor today (AFTER removing some extremely questionable stains) and the tailor says it is salvageable, but it will cost $50 to fix. As this was a $200 dress, I am willing to do that.

My question is this - after two years, is it too late to ask her to reimburse me to ruining this dress? Am I out of line to ask what on EARTH she did in it to make it look like that?

I am, of course, never going to let her borrow ANYTHING else.

Answer 1

u can ask her what she did in it but its way too late to ask her to pay u should of said at the time, well she should have told you! but no dont lend her anything =)

Answer 2

It is a bit late, but if she's such a good friend, she should have said something, and if the dress means so much to you, you should explain the situation to her.

Keep in mind though, it could be that the dress was just poorly made and fell apart on her.

and I have to say about T, she GAVE her friend bags of clothes she THOUGHT would look good on her. Once she did that the clothes were her friend's to do as she pleased and it really seems the friend either found they didn't fit her well or didn't share the same taste. The cat may have peed on them because they smelled unfamiliar. That is a risk T took when she decided to give her clothes to her friend.

Your situation is different though because you didn't give the dress to her, you let her borrow it.

Answer 3

If she was such a good friend she should have offered to get it fixed when she brought it back to you in that condition. You could ask her to cover half the cost for the repairs to the dress and see what she has to say about it. If you can afford to get repaired yourself, go ahead and do it. Consider it as one of life's lessons and learn from it. In the future don't lend her any more stuff unless she agrees to repair or replace if something happens to it while in her possession.

Good Luck and have a wonderful day.

Answer 4

Yes, it is too late to ask her for anything now.

If you wanted her to pay for the dress, you should have asked her then.

I'm really sorry about this incident; and I still can't figure out why some people do this when they borrow stuff from others; and then they return the item as though nothing happened… I mean, if I had accidently ruined something I borrowed, I would make sure to sincerely apologize and make up for it… If you figure out this mystery, please let me know…

Anyway, if she ever asks to borrow something from you again, explain to her why you are not letting her… make her feel guilty a bit… maybe, just maybe, she will offer to make it up to you then ;)

(though I doubt it because she should have done this a few years ago).

At the end of the day, $50 is not worth losing a friendship over…

Answer 5

This reminds me of my sister in law. I gave her two huge bags full of clothes that I knew would suit her beautifully and were her size. Nothing ragged or tasteless. Several months later I spotted her mom wearing my size 7 pants on her size 11 body. I was mad, but at least someone was wearing them. Then I heard the news and cleaned her room (i stayed with them for a short while) that the cat peed all over the several hundred dollars worth of hand me downs. I wear my clothes gently and purchase new clothes before they become ragged. My hand me downs usually look brand new. Well this girl didn't have respect and the cat went to the bathroom all over everything. I think she wore one shirt and one pair of pj pants to paint her bedroom purple in while I was there! That was blatantly rude, and with people like that and like your friend, you need to take their past behavior and decide whether you will risk it happening again.

I'm afraid two years is a long time. I would suggest not lending her anything else in the future and if she asks why, kindly tell her that you respect your belongings and they mean much to you. If you really love that dress and it doesn't bring bad memories, spend the money to fix it, take the money out of her future birthday gifts if need be.. just say "I am low on cash because I had to have that dress I lent you fixed." And laugh it off. Some people are just disrespectful!

Answer 6

well if its really important to you: well its 50$ dollars its your dress you should tell her since she riped it she should pay for it.

but if you dont mind paying 50 dollars for a dress your friend riped:

then pay 50$ and just forget it even happened.

Answer 7

Yeah you should have said something at the time. Its your own fault for not saying anything. 2 years later do you think she even remember that night? Lessons learned.

Answer 8

It's a little late now to be asking for the money to repair it -- if it were me, I would've taken it to a tailor straight off and had the friend pay for the repairs.  I'd definitely ask what she did -- the curiosity alone would drive me nuts.  As for the seams, sounds like she was just too big for the dress and that's why the seams are strained.  As for the hem, if it were too long for her, walking on the hem in heels would definitely shred it.  You could ask her for the money, just don't expect to get it.    I'm glad it can at least be fixed.  

Answer 9

Yes, it is too late.