She is writing a book?

Question

is this good enough, to publish it? she's not done though, here's the beginning she wrote:

Chapter One

New girl in school

Hi, I am Harper. I go to Hence Elementary School, and I’m 10 years old. Today was the first day of school, and I hated it. Being the new girl, is very tough. When, I first came in, everyone was staring at me like I was crazy. I don’t know why. Then as the day started everyone was chatting but me. I had nobody to talk to, no one to hang out with, nothing. That was the most boring, and sad day of school ever. I had to ride the bus, kids were scrunching up paper, and throwing it everywhere. Some has hit me , in the head. When, I finally came home I was so happy the day was over. But, tomorrow starts all over again. I read my book, did my homework, and went on the computer. My best friend was on line, and I wanted to talk with her, about how my day went. She is my counselor, and body guard. Her name is Christina. After we chatted, I felt a little better. Christian was always there for me, whenever I was sad, whenever I needed help. She’s always there.

My daughter is 10 years old, and this is basically based on her life.

Answer 1

     I don't think you're up to publication standard yet.  There are a few mistakes.  90% of writing is re-writing!  Try getting hold of a tape recorder and reading your piece out loud into it.  Then play it back.  How does it sound?  I think you'll find you pick up various mistakes in this way.  Don't be discouraged, though.  I think you're starting off very well, and once you've polished your story I'm sure you'll find it's a lot better.

Good luck

Mike B

Answer 2

I think it's pretty good but it would be better if there was some speaking in it

like maybe the conversation between Harper and Christian

Answer 3

It seemed to go really fast, so much so that I lost interest.  The way it's written, like the writing style and word choice, would really only make it worthwhile as a children's picture book.  It wouldn't work as a chapter book, unless you plan on fleshing it out or turning it into a diary-style book.  Also, you need to find yourself a good editor.