She just won't let him ALONE!?

Question

ok my neighbor keeps flirting with my husband and he doesn't like it either.. ok well let me start at the beginning.me and my husband Ted got married about 2 weeks ago and bought a house, and in the last week our neighbor Sally keeps coming to my house when my husband is home alone. ok like went to go to the store and my husband stayed home to mow the grass, Sally came over and stared flirting with him he told her to leave and alone and get lost. so when my husband told me that she was flirting with him i went right over to her house and told her to leave my husband alone. and when i went to the vet yesterday (for my dogs shots) she was flirting with him again. so now she won't let him alone and we already called the police..

what can i do? and my husband hates Sally just to tell you...

Answer 1

Tell her not to trespass and if she does make sure someone calls the police each time. Hopefully your husband is not answering the door when she comes over.

Answer 2

You should let your husband take care of this.  He should be the one to set Sally straight and get a restraining order if it goes that far.

Answer 3

Ignore her and she will go away. If he's home alone mowing the grass and he sees her approaching he needs to go inside until she goes away.  If she knocks on the door don't answer it.

Ask the other neighbors if they have ever had a problem with her. If they did ask how they got rid of her.

It could be that she did it at first because she didn't know you were married. And she's doing it now just to tick you off because you confronted her.

What looks like flirting to some looks like talking to others. It could be that she was just being friendly at first. He was there and you weren't.  Maybe she just wanted a friend and when you pretty much verbally attacked her she was afraid to see if you and she could become friends.

Jealousy is an ugly thing and you don't want to let it creep into your brand new marriage. You need to go talk to her. Apologize for blowing up at her and tell her that you had a bad day. Find out what her intentions are. If she thinks you're insecure she will use that to worm her way in. Just let it go and know that your husband has no intentions of going anywhere else.  

The next step would be to go for a restraining order if it turns out that she really is going after your husband. Although most judges won't approve a restraining order if there is no history or reason to suspect she is violent. She's basically just a neighbor who will not go away.

By the way, men love attention from other women, it makes them feel special. He may not like her and there is no way he would go after her, but it's a great ego booster to know that someone besides your wife thinks your'e attractive.

Answer 4

Well, Sally likes the attention that she is getting.  That's why she first all flirted with a married man.  You need to find out what gave her the impression that she had the right to do that.  It sounds like your husband is just going to have to either be really mean to her or just ignore her completely...

Answer 5

I think poor Sally is suffering from an old brain injury.  Ignore her.  If she comes over when you're outside, go inside.  If she comes over when you're inside don't answer the door.  If she waves, ignore her.  Sooner or later she will get the picture and go away like an old stray cat.  Once you stop feeding it it too will go away.

Answer 6

This woman has no sense of boundaries.

She continues to cross the line.  You need to make it clear that this needs to stop.

Invite her over one afternoon when your husband is not there.  Then state very calmly:  

"I've asked you to kindly let my husband be.   I'm not sure you understood that the first time.  I'm very uncomfortable with you constantly coming over here when I'm not home.  Is there anything you'd like to say?"

Don't be accusatory or angry when you talk to her.  But do be firm.    

Answer 7

wow...she sounds desperate....if your husband told her to leave him alone and she continues....you should talk to her....if that doesn't work, let your neighbor's know her game....they might be able to "help" when your husband is outside and your not home......