She spent my paycheck!! Im so fustrated!?

Question

so my mother has a long history of borrowing money (with or without asking) than swearing up and down she will pay me back and then she doesnt pay me back. usually its atleast 20-50 dollars. Mind you im 17 and babysitting and a part time job pays NOTHING. She always guilts me into it and gets really pissed and defensive if I dont give her money. anyway I needed two paychecks deposited into my bank account, I didnt have the time to do it so my mom said she would. That was $220....its been two weeks...she never deposited the money and she keeps 'forgetting the checks at work' im so fustrated i could cry. Thats a lot of money for me and i worked really hard at a job I really really HATE for it....so its like i blew two weeks of my life doing free work. If i want something, I have to buy it with my own money. My mom wont buy me anything unless its life or death. She knows school is comming up, and im not one of those material girls but i really could use new shoes and jeans and a bunch of other stuff and (stuff I actually Need as opposed to want) and ive been trying to buy a laptop.... i cant believe i trusted her, i figured she wouldnt blow my money like that since i thought she knew how much i hated my job and how hard i worked but apparently she doesnt feel bad always taking cash from her daughter.

what should i do?

Answer 1

That's so not cool!!! Do you think she may have a drug, gambeling, alcohol, or shopping problem? The only reason I can understand why a parent would do that is if they had an addiction they couldn't control. Maybe your mom needs help.  

Answer 2

I'm sorry your mom is like that. There's a lot of mothers who don't mind taking their kids money and don't pay them back. The only thing you can do is not to give mom more money. Does mom have a gambling problem? There's a reason that she takes your money and doesn't pay you back. I can guarantee you there's more to it than I just need money to make it each week. Something is rotten in Denmark!

Answer 3

Never trust her with money again until you get your money back. Start saving and cut down on spending. If you have a credit card get rid of it.  

Answer 4

go into a bank and tell them you want to open a savings account. they will open it for you ,,,then only YOU have access to it..dont tell your ma your doing it...get yourself an atm card, then you can withdraw money when shes not around...or if you cant get a card, you can go into the bank whenever you want and fill out withdrawl slip to get your money...good luck

Answer 5

What a horrible woman, you have for a mother. I would not give her anymore money. Put you money in a saving account and keep the rest in a checking account that she cannot get to.  She has stolen from you and you cannot do anything that has happened in the past, but you can going forward. Deny her the money and get the h**l out of that house as soon as you are 18 and do not give her another dime. Give her a list of the money that she has taken and the interest that she owes you. If there is a dad in the picture, clue him in and get him to repay the money she took from you since he fell short of his support.

I hope things get better for you.

Answer 6

dont take that from her take a stand say mom i make very little money as it is and then you go taking all of my money and i really need it to pay for things so until you start actually paying me back, im not loaning you any money, and you should really have some dignity and not be taking cash from your own daughter all the time, and whether i want or need the stuff, its still my money if you dont like it too bad

Answer 7

Your mom is a crackhead

Answer 8

This is the deal,you need to tell her that you want your money back or you'll call the cops,cause in the state that I live which is Maryland that is stealing.Your mother should be out there working to take  care of you and but your school things. What does she do all day? Sit on her ***,I am a mother of 7,yes I said 7,and my 17,16,15 and even my 13 year old all had summer jobs but I still bought their school things,so to me your mother is a sorry excuse of a woman! I hope that you never fall for that again honey. From now on hold your money until you can get to bank or have a friend hold that you CAN TRUST,cause you can not trust your mom. GOOD LUCK HONEY!

Answer 9

Talk to her.. tell her how you feel and how you know she has been spending your money and not repaying you. once yo9u get your money back, dont let her touch your money.. put it in the bank right away.

i hope i helped<3

Answer 10

Wow that sux... does your dad know??? you can email me or pm me or w/e if you want

Answer 11

i think the best thing you can do is go up and talk to her and also tell her how you feel. she can't continue doing this. don't yell at her, but calmly talk to her and negotiate. you should tell her to spend money on a budget and user her own money.

anyways i wish you best of luck!

Answer 12

2 points!

Answer 13

As soon as you turn 18, get a full-time job(if you can) and MOVE OUT. You should let your mom spend your hard-earned money like that. Tell her to get a job so she can pay for her c**p herself.

Answer 14

D O

N O T

G I V E

H E R

A N O T H E R

D I M E

she can go ahead and pour out the guilt trip on you, but the only reason she does this is because it has apparently worked in the past for her to get her way. I learned a long time ago that if I want someone to stop pushing my buttons, then it is MY RESPONSIBILITY to REMOVE the buttons. The next time she asks you for money, just tell her that you cannot AFFORD to support her. If she gets mad about that, there is nothing you can do to change that. She has to deal with that on her own, and it IS HER CHOICE what kind of mood she wants to be in. I would seriously wonder if she was squandering your hard-earned money on drugs, gambling, or alcohol. Either way, what she is doing is W R O N G.

1. Stand up for yourself and say no to giving her any more money

2. Walk away, don't hang around for a fight, or to hear her response

3. Saying "NO" gets easier each time you do it

EVENTUALLY, she will see that manipulation and emotional blackmail is not working, and unless she is a total glutton for punishment, she will get the message and stop doing it.

She does not NEED an ENABLER

Good luck, and you did the right thing for yourself by asking this question. I hope the situation changes and you get your money back.

Answer 15

wow your mom is mean! go steal her money. lol.

Answer 16

Tell your mom flat out You love her but cant trust her.You dont owe her for bringing u up.This is sad and I feel 4 u.

Answer 17

While I personally see no harm in lending money from time to time to a parent, mom there is going overboard with it.

Get yourself a backbone, and learn to say No.

Then, when she asks to "borrow" some cash.. use that word, practice it.. just repeat "No" over and over again until you can handle using it when time comes.

If mom keeps insisting she's forgot your checks at her job, offer to go with her to pick them up. She may confess that it's gone, to which you DO have some choices.

If she signed your checks, illegally in order to cash them, you CAN file charges of theft against her.

You can also take her to small claims court as harsh as that sounds and FORCE her to repay what she has stolen, and yes.. that's exactly what she's done.

I think you need to find out for sure though if she has spent your money, then give her a couple of choices, repay what she took that did not belong to her, or you go to the police and report her for Forgery and Theft. If she realizes she's committing crimes in doing what she's done (besides the times she's asked, and you've given.. can't do much about that other than small claims court) she may just get off her duff and start paying back YOUR money.

Remember.. she asks again, just say NO.

And next time.. don't give mom ANY kind of money, cash.. checks, whatever. You already know she's not dependable.

Also, is it possible for you to go live with dad? Grandmother? Aunt? Anyone? If so, I suggest do it. Mom's gotta start standing on her own 2 feet rather than depending on YOU who is her child to take care of HER.

Good luck!!

Answer 18

You have to grow a spine. Do not every trust her to deposit your checks again. She’s proven she can’t be trusted so don’t trust her again. Don’t loan her money. Guilt trips suck, and it took me into my 20s to learn to resist the ones from my mom, but you have to.

She wants to throw guilt on you, let her. Just ignore it. It will be hard, but every time you give her what she wants (money) after she manipulates you into thinking you owe it to her, you reinforce that that’s a good way to get what she wants. You have to have the good sense to break the cycle.  

Answer 19

First no more lending anymore money to your mom.  When she asks for money ask her where your money that she owes you is.

Next if you don't already have one make sure that you have your own bank accounts that your mother cannot access.  Don't trust her with anymore of your checks.

Start asking your mom about what you need for school.  Keep at it till she caves or gives you your money back.

Also do you know if your mom does this to anyone else?

Answer 20

ur mom is acting really stupid and weird. dont let her take ur money and stuff like *** on is SHE having like a financial problem and if so then u need to no about that becuz like ur her family and if she is just taking ur money then u shod tell sum1 that ur mother is looting u. my friend says take this to court and stuff but just tell her wat u think and if she thinks ur immoral then just be like thats it and keep ur money to urself. thats alll u can do u no.contact sum1 in ur family/friends or sumthing. and that is a really big problem ur in but u hav to live thru it i guess