She wants to be "just friends", but it's slowly killing me inside and i dont think i can handle it much longer

Question

Pretty simple we met last year i developed feelings for her that i thought were returned but she just didn't feel the same way and wanted to stay "just friends". the problem is that i cant shut off my feelings for her no matter how hard i've tired. ive been with other girls since then but yet shes always in the back of my mind. Being just friends has slowly been sucking my soul out of me for the last few months and i dont think i can handle it anymore. every time i talk to her my feeling stir back up again but i cant avoid her since i work at the same camp as her. i cant continue this "Just friend" bull ****, i feel like i should express my self to her one more time and if she still feels the same way then i need to end our friendship cause its killing me. what do you think? please give me more then 1 line of advice! I really need someone to talk this out with.

Answer 1

Cheer up because you can ALWAYS become more than "just friends." You need to understand that most good relationships start out with a solid friendship as the foundation. Just because she wants to be just friends today, doesn't mean she can't change her mind six months from now. People's feelings CHANGE. You might not be the reason why she wants to be just friends. Maybe she wants to focus on her career or schooling or maybe she is depressed. Who knows! Also, her feelings for you can change if you show her what a great friend you can be.

My advice is to pretend like you are totally OK with being just friends. Be happy and pleasant around her. Be fun to be around. Get over your depression, and before you do, pretend you are not depressed. Don't push boundaries with her. Don't try to kiss or or touch her leg.

Show her that you would make a great boyfriend by being a great friend.

Someday she will start dating another guy and fall in love, and then he will cheat on her and break her heart. Then she will realize that you are the true guy for her. HER FEELINGS CAN CHANGE. The just friends thing may not be permanent.

Don't be upset! Be happy and thankful that you have a chance of being with her someday. Be nice and friendly to her, but don't smother her.

Perhaps you could stop calling her and only let her call you. Back off a litlte bit but always be there when she calls. Be a great friend. Every once in a while, ask her to hang out with friends like go to the movies with a bunch of people or go to a fun party together.

I don't know why you are upset about this.....Do you know how many girls told the guy they wanted to be just friends, then 3 months later they realized that their good guy friend is really the one since he truly cares and all the other guys just want s*x from her?

Good luck

Answer 2

sweetheart you can't be friends with someone you're in love with, believe me. If you stop being friends it will help you feel better, and maybe she will miss you and appreciate what a great person you are, and discover new feelings for you. If you still need someone to talk to, don't hesitate in sending me an email. =)

Answer 3

im currently going through the same exact thing. i found this really beautiful and sweet girl. who wants to be just friends i have also known her about a year. and things seemed to be going nowhere. but i just kept being myself. and talking to her be there for her when she needs me. and shes slowly starting to fall for me.  

just dont give up fight till the end or dont fight at all in my opinion. just keep trying and if she sees how you really feel youll get your chance eventually

Answer 4

I went through this same type of thing, a couple times with guys. I know it is really hard, especially depending on your age. I am 16 and know that it sucks. I developed MAJOR feelings for these 2 guys. (different times) and I found even though, they said the "just friends" thing, there was ABSOLUTELY no way that I could do that. I felt like it would literally kill me. I eventually had to get away. I didn't talk to them barely at all. I know it's hard, especially when you work with them. One of the guys, I went to school with and had almost every class with. I just ignored it. I would talk to my friends whenever they wanted to talk. It's hard, but you eventually figure out that if thats the case, you can do better anyways, and Im sure you probably deserve better than to be treated like this. I felt this way, too. And believe it or not, with the one I went to school with, once I ignored him, he wanted to talk to me and be around me ALL the time, even more. He was so used to the attention I gave him, unknowingly, that he had to have it, but by then I was over it! I don't know if this will help at all, but I hope so! Good Luck!

~Dana Marie~

Answer 5

If you love her than it is hard to be friends with someone, that you are head over hills with. Personally i would have a hard time with this situation. I have been in the same boat as you, when i was younger. What i did was i had to let him go. I was always taught that if you truly love someone, you will let them go, and if they come back to you it was meant to be. You cant spend all your time dwelling on this. You have to protect your heart. I know that you do not want to hear this, but i am going to tell you anyways. Let her go and find someone who love you back. Why do all the chasing. When you stop looking, that's when love comes. Trust me it landed in my lap, when i least expected it.