Question:

Shopping for an engagement ring?

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My longtime boyfriend and I recently had the marriage talk, and he had started shopping for rings. The question is, should I go shopping with him to help pick it out, or is this something men prefer to do on their own? (we are both in midlife if that helps)

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  1. I think that most men would prefer to get exactly what their intended wants rather than guess and be wrong.  I know I personally picked out my diamond and he knew I wanted a 6-prong solitaire setting.  Ask him what he wants, you are both mature adults.  :-)  Best of luck.  


  2. this sounds kinda stupid but go to the jeweler that you are pretty sure that he'll go to and make friends with the ladies behind the counter. i would tell them the whole story and pick out 3 or 4 of your favorites. describe what your bf looks like and then let him go alone. if you're lucky, the ladies will notice him and point out the ones you like as a 'best seller'. you might get the ring you picked out and he'll never know you actually picked it out!

  3. I actually told my then-boyfriend that I sort of wanted to go to help look at styles I liked and let him do the final picking, but I think he really wanted to do it on his own. He had me look at a couple different web sites just to see the cuts of diamonds I liked, but he handled the rest himself and totally surprised me. Despite my original thoughts that I would like to go with him, it was kind of nice that he wanted to do it all on his own (or mostly so). Actually though, when he picked out the diamond he just got a really basic band -- the jewelry store suggested we come back together to pick out the band, and I did.

  4. I just think it's more special when the man chooses the rings. My husband did, and they are amazing!

    You can show your bf certain styles you like, but then he can choose rings which suit his budget, then he doesn't have the pressure.

    (I was 28, he was 38.)

  5. No, let him do it on his own.  That will be so romantic.  My husband proposed to me without me having any idea.  It was awesome and I love the ring he chose for me because it came from him and he had no help.

  6. There are so many ways to go about choosing and presenting an engagement ring, and every single one is valid.  It is all about choosing what feels right for the both of you.  That being said, a few options seem very appropriate, as long as you feel comfortable with them:

    First, shopping together is completely acceptable and could be an enjoyable, romantic and special experience.  This would be a great way to go, as long as you don't mind not being surprised.

    Another thought is that your fiance can choose and buy the diamond, and have it placed in a simple setting.  Once he has proposed and presented you with the ring, you can go together to find the perfect setting for the diamond.

    If you would like him to choose a setting, maybe it would be best to do some shopping (online or in person) on your own. This way you can get an idea of what you love, and more importantly, what you hate.  Show him your likes and dislikes so that he can make an informed decision.  This will most likely make his shopping experience much more enjoyable, because he will be less worried about making the wrong decision, or picking something you don't like.  He will feel confident in selecting something you will love.

    You  can start looking online, to educate yourself on all of the styles available.  Here's a great place to start:

    http://www.michaelcfina.com/ic/mcfina/se...

    Of course, choose the path that feels right to you! And, most of all, best wishes and congratulations!

  7. You can decide if you want him to pick out the ring you'll wear for years or if you want input in the choice.  He might narrow it down to 3 or so, then take you and let you pick the one you want.  

  8. That totally depends on how much you trust him and how picky you are about your ring lol.

    My fiance picked mine out on his own as I said no idea he was even going to ask. At first I thought it was far too flashy for me (the diamond is really huge). Two weeks later, be brought me flowers and I was giving him a huge hug and I caught a glimps of my ring while hugging him, and I fell in love with it that moment.

    If you want a specific ring, so with him. If you want it to be something from HIS heart, let him do it a long.  

  9. Certainly get his opinion on the matter first.  My opinion?  Go with him!  Give him a pretty solid idea of what you like and them let him take over...don't get involved in price or details, but make sure he has a nice idea of your likes and dislikes.  I think it's important!  This is something that will be on your body for the rest of your life and you BOTH should like it a lot!  Best wishes...how exciting!

  10. I went shopping for rings and narrowed it down. Then my husband came along and I showed him the couple of choices I had picked. So he had a hand in picking the final one.

    I wanted to go with him (and he wanted me to) because I absolutely hate diamonds, and think the whole diamond industry is c**p. That means colored stones, and leaves too much choice for anyone.

    We are very happy with the way we did things, but each couple has to make a decision about it. Just ask him how he would like to handle things and if he wants any help or suggestions. If there is something you absolutely don't want though, I would mention it.

  11. Do it together online. The prices and the quality are much better. Try http://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rin...

  12. Why don't you ask him what he would like to do? If either is good for him, I say go with him because it is you who would be wearing it. If he prefers to go on his won, and it doesn't bother you that he might pick out something that is not your first choice, than you can let him go on his own.  

  13. I know some men like the woman involved because it's less pressure on them to pick out the perfect ring with little direct help.  BUT, my fiance wanted NO help at all.  He used to even hate if I talked about what I wanted and would never want me to show him pictures.  All he knew that I directly told him was that I preferred white gold and don't like three-stone (all diamonds) rings.  We has talked about styles a bit, because some of my friends and my sister got engaged, so the topic came up, but it was always something he wanted to do on his own.

    He totally surprised me with the gorgeous engagement ring he presented to me when he proposed.  He had it designed and crafted for me by a goldsmith/jeweler, and I could honestly not have designed a better ring for myself.  He even picked a trellis setting instead of a traditional "claw" style.  I have always though trellis settings were so beautiful and artful, but that is a detail I NEVER mentioned to like anyone, let alone him.  I guess it really proves he knows me best by that fact.

    You should talk to your boyfriend about what he would like to do.  He might be secretly hoping you will offer your opnion or to actually go with you because he doesn't want the pressure of doing it alone, or he could have something in mind for you that he wants to surprise you with.

    Congrats!


  14. It really depends on the couple.  Some women want to be surprised and want to see what sort of ring he picks out for her, other women want a specific ring and would rather pick it out themselves.  I designed my own ring on bluenile.com and I don't have any regrets.  Some people think its unromantic, but I got exactly what I wanted and my fiance isn't really good at shopping around for good deals, so he probably would have spent a lot more on something I wouldn't have liked as much.

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