Short poem I am working on--Thoughts?

Question

Obituary

Rest in Peace

I cannot afford

Precious luxury

I'll never cease

Too fully saturated

The bearer’s arms

Raging with fire

Soon overturning

I will never sleep

My soliloquy

Is not complete

Answer 1

Cool.  Very descriptive.  

I write short poems

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Answer 2

May the Lady live forever!  I can't see anything to change, the writing seems tight and your last two lines are terrific!!!

Thanks for sharing this.

Answer 3

it is Passionate in a way

Answer 4

i think it's great.

that you shouldt add or change anything too it.

ibeleive it's talking about things you're having trouble with, especially in your life,

cause when i read it, it seems like theres alot of feeling.

( hope it was the answer you were looking for )

read mine?

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Answer 5

Very nicely written, suiting for its topic!  Cheers!!

Answer 6

The passing of one does carry obligations.  Well said.