Shoul I tell my 7 year old Grandson (who lives with me) his Dad he never met is on Death Row?

Question

I asked this earlier this week but said in Prison for life, truthfully he on on Death row. My husband and I fight over this when it is brought up. I say he should be told his Dad is in prison but not on death row, my husband (who plays the Father role) says we should have told him his Dad died in a car accident when he was a baby. He knows his Dad in in prison but does not know any details. He begs to go see him. So far we have avoided telling him much of anything but as he gets older he is getting wiser and more curious. He has anger issues and ADHD, he is emotionaly immature, cries easily, he spends 1-2 nights a week with his single Mom. She works long weird hours and she has trouble handling him. He acts impulsively with his anger dangerously. He says he wants to die all the time to the point where I caught him hiding in a corner with my empty insulin needle saying he "wanted to die". Don't know what he was going to put in it. No medical insurance to get him counseling.

Answer 1

i think you shud tell him his father is in prison but not on death row wen he is a little older you can explain to him but he is still young and it wont be easy to tell him

Answer 2

Check with child protective services, they should be able to help you out.

Answer 3

I would leave it at he's in prison forever...he's way too young to understand...especially if he is having problems now.

Answer 4

Don't TELL HIM NO BULL FACE LIE ABOUT HIS FATHER LIKE THAT! YOU GUYS MUSTT HAVE A CRUEL HEART!! WHY DONT YOU GET HIM A MEDICAL CARD FROM PLACES WHO HELP PPL WHO CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY BIG BUCKS FOR DOCTOR BILLS AND STUFF. SINCE YOU ARE A GRANDPARENT, YOU SHOULD OF KNOWN THAT ALL THE YEARS YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING SO FAR

Answer 5

Aww This Is Really Upsetting And He's Obviously Feeling The Strain Take Him To The Doctors Sometimes They Refer You To The Hospital For Free Family Counselling I Maybe Wouldn't Tell Him About His Dad Just Yet He Could End Up Having A Breakdown My Little Sister Did When She Was 7 But Got Free Counselling From The Doctor. This Could Really Help. I Hope He's Going To Be Ok. Hope I Helped Xx

Answer 6

i think it's time for you to get him help..immediately and you should tell him and explain to him why..there's no reason to lie and upset a boy who is obviously already emotional scarred.

Answer 7

I think he is too young for that kind of information right now. Let him ask you when he's older and can really understand it. I'm sure with the issues that he is undergoing now, you could qualify for some kind of assistance. He needs help badley. Make some calls, google your area for any sort of assistance. It is out there.

Answer 8

Talk to maybe the counslers at school or apply for medical assistance i believe the kid needs some kind of therapy. And they can also help counsel family members on what they need to be doing for him and they will help you know what he should be told as of this age.

Answer 9

NO! He will not understand at his age and it will do much more harm than good... what good could come of it?

Answer 10

maybe its best to wait untill he gets older...

i realize lying is rarely the best solution but he is only seven.

also even though he never met his father he probably still feels an emotional attachment to him.

and with his emotional/mental problems, it probably wouldnt be the best idea.

id suggest trying to get insurance from counseling, it seems like your grandson desperatley needs to see someone.

best of luck.

Answer 11

Wow... well i guess you could tell him when you see signs of maturity sprouting out, you definetly can't tell him...

but if you're willing to take the risk go ahead then, and tell him that it's all okay.

Answer 12

no you should not tell a disturbed 7 year old is dad is on death row

Answer 13

He has a right to know the history of his parents and to meet his father. 7 is old enough to gently introduce this. However, 7 is too young to go into all the details.

If he is not seeing a doctor for the ADHD and anger issues, he should be. He's young enough that with proper care he can avoid the fate which awaits his father.

Answer 14

You should try to get access for him. They can set him up with counseling and other services. I would take him to see him because he asked to see his father. Tell him why he is in jail and he may change his mind on seeing him. It might save you a lot of resentment.

Answer 15

YES you should if you dont he's going to find out from someone else which is going to lead to a lot of ?'s.then when he is older he will reject your love and advice.then he might end up on death row!!!!!!!!!!(SORRY BUT TRUE)

Answer 16

You need to get this child medi-caid. He should be eligible for it as you are the grandparents. He needs counseling. This child should not know his father is on death row. He knows enough by knowing he is in prison. Don't give him more than he can handle. Please be more careful with your needles. What this child needs is TLC, love, and understanding - sounds like he's already been through more than the average 7 year old. His grandfather is just trying to protect him, and at this age given his problems he is protecting him. Get this boy some help, he should be eligible for county services. Thats the best thing you can do for him. Get him involved in activities outside of the house, a hobby - something to get him interested.

Answer 17

OH MY !!! i think yo need to take him to see his father , he has that right and he could end up hating you both if and hen his father is executed , do not tell him LIES !! that's will make it worse and as far as the syringe goes u need to call ur local mental health place , it don't matter if u have insurance or not they will help you...good luck to u and god bless u all.

Answer 18

He's only seven. I would tell him, but wait. If he's that messed up, it would be a bad idea. Dont lie, that will cause problems in the future when you do tell him. This is his father, he has a right to know. Just wait until he's older and understands more. If you tell him now he might try something rediculous like busting him out or killing himself again.

Answer 19

this is obviously a lie. children have automatic help for any problems reguardless of what their family can afford.

Answer 20

1. Tell him the truth-- the whole truth about his Dad.

2. His school can help you provide counseling - talk with the principal.

This boy is probably confused as he knows something is not quite right about the whole deal with his father.It is better for a child to know the truth than to wonder what the heck is going on.

Answer 21

What good would that do him to know that his father is on death row?  Do you really want your grandson having all the stress of knowing his father has done something so despicable that he is going to die for it?  Your husband is completely right.  Let him be your grandson's father figure.  Let your son know that he cannot see his father because they do not allow visitors.  

Since he cries easily, do you really want him being strapped with more things to set him off?  He needs counseling and so do you, his grandfather, and his mother..  You can probably get help through the state for insurance for him.  

He needs psychological intervention before he seriously hurts himself.

Answer 22

OK you and your family know him better the anyone you need to talk to his mum about this and decide before its to late, and about the killing him self thing you should take him to a therapist and if you cant afford it the school should have one talk to the teachers about this. i personally think you should tell him about his dad in more detail but don't tell him about the death row tell him that he had already died when he is a bit more stable because this might just put him over the edge hope it all works out 4 you and feel free to email me if you need some one to talk to. Also i have been thinking about doing the big brother program so If you live in north London UK i will be happy to help you guys out  your sincerely Anton c

Answer 23

yes he should be told b/c not telling him will make hime think he cant trust you guys...that even yall are lying to him...you cant hide it forever somday he will know and it can be so hard when the truth is revealed later on in life...just be there for him

Answer 24

maybe you should talk to the school counselor, they can refer them for free sometimes, for now i wouldnt tell him anything else that will traumatize him even more. he needs help and you need to start calling around to see if you can get it for him.

Answer 25

i don't think you should, that might be too much for him to handle at his age and maybe you should wait until he is 14 or 15, and just tell him in the meantime that he can't see his dad.

Answer 26

No he is only 7

By the time he actually gets to be executed he will probably be old enough to know the truth.

He is not old enough and his life shouldn't be intrrupted over something that sad.

Just tell him when he's like 18, when he is emotionally ready for that kind of news

Respect for you, grandma, for raising him!

Answer 27

no medical insurance, what about state aid?  he should qualify...

Answer 28

I wasn't sure what to say to you're question, but i figured that if he already knew that his dad is in prison that you should tell him that he's right. I wouldn't go as far as to tell him that he's on Death Row, but just enough information to get him by. Since he has low self-esteem then you might want to go to a psychiatrist.

Answer 29

Take him to a shrink, if you are taking care of him then you should get some kind of child support or something. He sounds like he needs some help. And NO you should not tell a 7 year old that his daddy that he has never met (and most likely pictures as this wonderful guy) is on death row.

Answer 30

If your in the USA right now , there is lot of help out there , in Police Station you can report that so they will hep you to have a counseling for the family.

there should be any help if you seek for it.

so the Counselor who will let the your grand kids to let him know why, how, etch. about his dad... You need in a big help.

Good Luck to you.

Answer 31

the best thing you can do is talk about it to him now!! like you said, later, he will hold a resentment against both of you if you do not discuss is now!