Should 5 yr olds attend a wake?

Question

Should 5 yr olds attend a wake?

Answer 1

It depends on how close they are to the person, I would'nt allow my child to attend a wake because after they would keep asking themselves several question and might not be able to deal with the answers they think off. Even if they are close it has to be either one of their parents before they can attend.

Answer 2

depends on how close they are to the deceased   - yes to a parent or close grandparent - no to an aunt or uncle they barely know. they just won't understand and everyone will be sad and it could be very upsetting. It also depends on how you think your child will handle the closure - if they are mature enough to understand the process.  Sometimes it's just easier to tell them Grandma or Grandpa was very sick and has gone to live in heaven where he or she will not be sick or in pain anymore.  Let them draw pictures and put them at the funeral home if you think that will help.

Answer 3

My daughter was 3 when my Mom passed on and we had a Memorial and there was just her and her younger cousin and a nice lady was willing to open up one of the church classrooms for them to play and then they joined us for the food afterwards.

I think it is alright as long as you have a place for them to go and play while the wake is being done.

Answer 4

I would never even consider bringing my 5 year old to a wake.  It would be traumatizing for the child.  I feel that children should be sheltered at such a young age.

Answer 5

A wake is different form a funeral.

Depending on many factors, the family or people expected to be present, how close you were to the deceased, how socially developed the 5 year old is.  If the child has issues with running around or screaming, then no. The other adults at the event would likely object as well.

Trauma is usually in the behavior of the adults around the child.  Sheltering a child from reality is, well, ...my opinion does not matter, but yours does.  

Consider speaking with your clergy person if you have one, and asking them to include a discussion with your child. LIkewise, you should also discuss the situation before hand with the child if they will be attending. Make sure they know, and are reminded of any ground rules or other expectations.

If they are not in a position to grasp the concept, then find a sitter for the event.  Patience and understanding on your part, as well as your attitude will be more of an indicator as to if they are ready to attend or not.

Best of luck to you

Kay

Answer 6

Not my five year old.  We've had family members pass away in the last few years and my kids stayed home.  It's up to you, you know your kid's personality.  I would talk about it first and try to answer as many of their questions as possible.  If they get there and are disruptive, have a back up plan.

Answer 7

depends on how close they were, if they dnt even know the person then no but if tey were realy close ten maybe. depends on the kid too i guess - like if they'll sit still and be quiet then go ahead but if they're gonna sit tere and ask questions and run aorund - then prob not a good idea! lol

Answer 8

In my very own personal experience I'd have to suggest that its not a very wise choice... I remember attending my dads grandmothers wake and funeral service when I was about 4 or 5 years old... It was a bad experience for myself because that was the first time I ever remember seeing my dad cry :(

Now I'm sure like most I HATE GOING to wakes for that reason...

Answer 9

The answer could be yes or no.  It depends on if the child understands and if they are able to be respectful and quiet.  It's not fair to the child if they have to sit quietly during such a solemn event if they don't understand what's going on, and it's not fair to everyone else attending to have a fidgety child disrupting.  Our five-year-old nephew was with his friends during his grandmother's wake.  On the other hand, if they understand the solemness of the situation and you feel they can be respectful, then what better way to involve that child than to let them attend the wake?  Just make sure to address the general topic with them and answer questions they may have.  The library is a great resource for providing some of those answers.

Answer 10

it depends because some kids could actually look dead and they could be sleeping so i think that you should put them in a wake

Answer 11

If they know the person well, then yes. If they don't, then no. You don't want your or somebody else's little boy running around the casket and singing Barney songs!! lol. But a wake isn't a laughing matter. I'm sorry about your loss. :(

Hope this helps. :D

Answer 12

My four-year -old was having difficulty understanding that her Granny had died so we spent some time at the wake (not the whole time) and let her go to the funeral. She watched them bury the coffin and even helped by throwing dirt on the coffin. She seemed to need to know what was happening and was at peace afterwards. She also provided comic relief for the other grieving relatives. Her screaming "I want to see them bury up Granny" in the middle of the funeral is a favorite memory of many of my family members. Would I recommend this for all kids? No. but for my child this was something that she needed to experience in order to cope with Granny's death. Death is a natural part of life and something even young children can begin to understand.

Answer 13

5 years old is too young to learn about Death.  The kid won't understand and will be prone to asking questions like "when is [deadguy] coming back?" which would clearly be upsetting and disruptive to a wake.

Get a sitter.

Answer 14

Death is not a tangible topic for a 5 year old; he/she will not realize that the person who is dead will not come back.  Depending on the situation, it could be traumatic for a child to see adults grieving.  It will feel "unsafe."  However if the person's life is celebrated it could be a good occasion to speak about how working hard and having sympathy for others makes every life special.

Answer 15

Attending a wake usually has no ill effects on children...especially 5 yr olds.  Our children 5 and 2.5 yrs attend every wake/funeral with us.  It's part of the learning process of the natural birth to death cycle.  

How long will you be there?  What time is it at?  If you must be there for the entire time consider having a sitter after the 1st hour or so.  If you can't find a sitter, take some quiet things along for the child to do.  Remember snacks, etc.  Consider your child's bedtime.  Being tired tends to effect behavior.

I do agree with some of the other answers...it really depends on your child.  I do think that most 5 year olds can control themselves enough not to be running and screaming but if your child does have some difficulty with self-control...it might be easier on you if they are not there.

Answer 16

It depends on how close they were to the person. Even though i was very young when  my aunt died i still regret not being able to go to her funeral even though i can barely remember her. If they understand what is happening (in the nicest possible way of coarse) and think if they would be ok there and not get bored and want to leave e.t.c.

Answer 17

no they r 2 young 2 be near where people are tlkin abt a dead person