Should 7 y.o. GIRL have SLEEPOVER with 8 y.o. BOY?

Question

My ex lets my 7 y.o. daughter have sleepovers with an eight y.o. boy. The boy's mother is a bit off and the father is 87 so I don't have any recourse with them. Do you think that it is OK? Would you let yours?

Shoudl I let the parenting coordinator know?

Answer 1

I wouldn't allow it.  My 5-year-old wants to have a sleepover with one of his friends who's a girl, and I've decided that sleepovers are off-limits period.  Don't you remember sleepovers and the mischief you got into?  My parents ruled out sleepovers when I was 14, and they were right to do that.  Nothing good comes from sleeping over at a friend's house.  I don't think I will even allow sleepovers for my kids and their cousins.

**For how promiscuous a lot of people in this world are, they sure are naive about children.  My SIL told me about several incidences of her daughter, who was 6 at the time, and a neighbor boy, who was 7, telling her daughter things she didn't need to know until much older, and that same boy was caught a few months later teaching my nephew, who was 8, and a few of his other friends how to m********e.  Kids this young do know too much, and I don't think boy-girl sleepovers are appropriate ever!

Answer 2

no its not OK, the only time where it would be OK is if they were cousins or something. and the dad is 87, gross

Answer 3

I would if I trusted the parents.  In the situation you mentioned, it doesn't sound like the kids would be properly supervised, so I would say no, I wouldn't allow it.  And why would your ex want her to sleep elsewhere when its his visiting time with his daughter?  Yeah, I'd consider talking to the parenting coordinator about this one.

Answer 4

i think that your ex is retarted. I have 2 boys and a girl and never would i let my boys bring a girl to sleep over. My little girl wont even be allowed to sleep over at her friends houses if there are male siblings there. Even if you think that it is "supervised" where are they sleeping and where do the parents sleep.?? Unless they all sleep in the same room nothing is really supervised kids these days are much more aware of s*x and they start, the you show me yours I'll show you mine, alot younger then it used to be. It is very inappropriate for a coed sleepover, I believe that you should tell the coordinatorand see what they say.

Answer 5

No its definetly not okay not in this day and age. My aunt let her daughter have a co-ed sleep over recently and lets just say she walked in on something that she never thought she would see. Therapy is in the future for all.

Answer 6

Yes it's ok, what is an 8 yr old gonna do? As long as he sleeps in a different bed its fine. They're friends.

Answer 7

WTF do you think they are going to do. These are innocent young children with no thoughts of wild s*x sessions coursing through their brains.

Answer 8

Sure, as long as there is supervision. My son (8) just had a sleepover w/his best girlfriend (8) who he has known for almost 7 years. The door was kept open at all times and they had a great WHOLESOME time.

Answer 9

nooooooo!!!!

Answer 10

Make sure they aren't doing some "unrated" stuff.

Because today little kids wanna try, their curious.

Make sure theres a eye on them.

Answer 11

yes, i'd let my kids have opposite-s*x sleepovers at that age.  they haven't hit puberty yet.  they're just little kids.  they're not thinking about s*x.  it's no big deal.

Answer 12

i normally would'nt care ,especially cousins. i would keep the door open, and supervise. different beds of course. my son will be 8 and his cousin who is 7(girl) stays all the time. if it was a friend situation it would be the same.HOWEVER in this situation, i wouldn't allow it. they sound a little like fruitcakes (the parents) and they probably just let the kids do their own thing. that isn't good, especially when they go to bed and leave the kids. i usually sleep on the couch during sleepovers. after 8 years is too old i think though. even for my kids. i would tell the parenting coordinator, and let her know you feel uncomfortable with it. everyone has their own opinion in this. so it just depends on how you really feel.

Answer 13

Not a good idea.  You are teaching habits for later behavior.   What do you want them to learn?  Maybe modesty and decorum are good lessons here.

They sound like they may be good buddies, and probably aren't engaging in anything inappropriate, but "exploration"is not uncommon in pre-adolescence.  It sounds like the supervision is questionable.

It boils down to: "DO YOU THINK IT'S OK?"  I'd let them be friends and have great times being kids, but nix at 7 what I wouldn't want them doing @ 11.

I'm asumming the parenting coordinator has to do with divorce/custody issues.  Unless there are legal concerns, I wouldn't call the coordingator.  If you and your ex- can't come to an agreement on the issue then get the coordinator involved.

Answer 14

I think it would be fine at that age,

they are too young to really be doing anything to worry about.

and if they are being watched/ door open it would all be fine.

Answer 15

The parenting coordinator?  I use to have sleepovers with the next door boy often, it was fine.  I think that it is perfectly acceptable.

Answer 16

Why not?

They are 7 and 8 respectively.  They would have no interest in each other sexually.  The only precaution you need to take is that they respect each other's modesty.

Answer 17

When I was around 5 or 6 I had a really good friend. My mother and her mother were really good friends, my brother and her brothers were really good friends. We were allowed to sleep att each others houses and do you know what? We were fine!

Answer 18

My daughter's best friend is a boy.  They have had many a sleep over together.  If, however, you don't feel comfortable, why not invite the child to your home and judge his character for yourself?

Answer 19

No, I would not allow it. Kids that age may not know anything about s*x, but they ARE curious about their body parts, and are more likely to see each other without clothes during a sleepover situation (potty breaks, changing clothes, baths). Once they notice they're different, that could lead to things like "playing doctor" and what-have-you. Even though it's innocent, that is still not something you would want your child to be doing. I can remember my neighbor boy showing me his p***s and peeing in the yard while I was at his house one day - in broad daylight! I think we were in kindergarten.

Anyway, I don't blame you at all for being concerned over this. Before speaking with an official coordinator, though, bring up these concerns to your ex and make him see that it's just not a good idea. Plus, remind him that HE'LL be the one having to explain WHY Johnny can't come over for sleepovers anymore once your daughter is a pre-teen. And does he really want to have to answer THAT question?

Answer 20

I'm sure they are innocent and that there is probably nothing to worry about.  I would ask your ex to only let them have sleep overs at your daughters house, so they can be supervised since you don't trust the boys mother.  I wouldn't discourage the friendship though...it's good for a girl to have a friend that is a boy.

Answer 21

If they were kids that grew up like next door with eachother since babies then MAYBE, but otherwise NO WAY!!  They can have playdates where they hang out and stuff but overnight nope!!

Answer 22

It's ok with supervision of course.

Answer 23

i wouldnt allow that at all!!!

Answer 24

ew no completely out of question

Answer 25

yes, just with the door open.

Answer 26

I don't think it is a problem.  The s*x of a child at that age has very little impact.  If they are having sleepovers I would assume they are good friends and enjoy each others company, and they don't think of it as anything else.  My only concern would be they boys parents.  I would probably not let my child stay at their house, but host him at your or your ex's home instead.

Answer 27

They probably do not know about s*x and everything, well I am expecting your daughter doesn't, so it can't be so bad. I would keep a close eye on them the whole night just to make sure.

Answer 28

no dont let that happen at that age kids want to know what this and that is and how does this feel you know dont let it happen

Answer 29

definitely not!

Answer 30

I would cause a stink!

It's setting unrealisct expectations. when shes 14 she's going to think its ok and bada bing bada boom shes pregnant.