Should Forgiveness be Earned? Should we forgive and forget?

Question

My Thoughts... agree... disagree?

In forgiving one should consider how we are compromised by it. All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take.

Never give up who you are... in the process of forgiving. Become more than what you are by knowing when it's deserved and rational. Men who do not seek our forgiveness and continue their evil should not be forgiven if it results in a continence of evil...

...my most difficult act of forgiveness would be to that of a child molester, even if he were never to do it again. I would fear my act of kindness would only enable him to continue his evil.

Answer 1

Forgiveness shouldn't have to be earned. We need to forgive so we can move on.

Forgiving and forgetting are two different things. I may forgive a tresspass, but not wanting to repeat it, I will never forget it.

Answer 2

This is the way I have always seen it...

My forgiveness has always had to be earned,but seeing things that way has also made it harder for me to forget, therefore easier to hold a grudge.

It's the wise person who is able to forgive without the permission of the other person involved.

Answer 3

“I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.”

that there pretty much sums it up for me, who are we to judge and withhold forgiveness  when we ourselves are not nearly perfect, either

Answer 4

i think if every human try to forget and forgive it ll be heaven on earth.that is earth and we are not angels

Answer 5

If they're genuinely sorry yes,if not then no.I grew up with this turn the other cheek stuff and it just confuses people.I have two kids and knowing there's people out there that could hurt them in the way a molester could, chills me to the bone.these people should be dealt with not as humans but as the animals they are.

Answer 6

Somethings are hard to forgive, I believe the goal is to move on.

Answer 7

Forgiveness need not be earned but trust must be except in the initial instance. When you forgive, you give up nothing more than your anger and hate and that you did not earn, they did. Learning to trust is a one shot deal. You have forgiven once and there is no more. A second betrayal, earns the offender only enmity for all time because he has made a fool out of you and that is unforgivable because no one should be made the fool.

Answer 8

Forgiveness is not a compromise and does not require compromising on fundamentals or principles. When someone is forgiven, you're not saying to them that what they did was right, you're not endorsing their behavior. You're releasing yourself from the weight and baggage of unloving emotions. You're giving yourself the freedom to live a life based on love and love only. By not forgiving you're perpetuating the violation and victim status.

As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I know that a person can be forgiven for that horrible act. I had to do it to free myself and to truly heal so that I could love at the deepest level possible.

God's word is that we forgive others so that we be forgiven.  I want my blessings, so I'm forgiving everything, everybody, everyday, as best I can.  It's a work in progress.

Answer 9

we forgive for ourselves. it doesn't  matter if the person deserves it or not, we do it for our own mental health and so that we can move on.

Answer 10

As somebody who has been involved in many stupid fights, arguments, feuds, etc., I finally got it that forgiveness has nothing to do with what the other person or people did or did not do to you.  Forgiveness is about a decision that you have to make for yourself, because genuine, unconditional forgiveness frees you from that negative energy you're carrying around.

Answer 11

Mark Twain said " Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet shed on the heel that had crushed it."

Answer 12

Yes, and yes and I disagree with your thoughts.  You say

.`` I would fear my act of kindness would only enable him to continue his evil.``

Not only would your kindness or lack of it have no relation whatever to anybody else, but your very own thoughts could only result in not being so easily able to forgive yourself for whatever.  Actually I don`t even like the notion of forgiveness.

Most of it implies the idea of not being able to mind your own business (maybe a little too harsh and maybe not).  I`m not religious at all but I do agree with the thought of ``Love your neighbor as yourself``  or even ``love your enemies``.  Probably the best we can do and it is plenty good is to focus on what makes us happy or makes us feel good and not waste energy by offering resistance to what makes us feel bad.  Life is supposed to be fun.