Should I Kill Myself??? I Was Raped. I NEED HELP!!!!?

Question

Hi. I am thinking of suicide right now. I am a 20 year old woman that got herpes as a result of a rape. I am so severely depressed. I had a sore about 3 weeks after the rape. I went to the doctor and she said it was a yeast infection. However, two day sago (10 months after the rape) I got another sore. It healed in two days.

I just want to die. I just went to this website for herpes support and it says "Face it, you WILL be rejected"

I can't take it anymore. I just want to die. I was hoping to wait to have s*x until marriage. However, I don't know if any men these days would be willing to wait.

I just want to die. I am supposed to start college tomorrow (I dropped out bc of the rape but they are letting me come back) but I am so depressed. I was planning on telling my future fiance after we are engaged. If I tell every guy I am casually dating, they will blab to my whole social circle. Then everyone I know will know. Why do people say that would be dishonest if I wait to tell my fiance after we are engaged? Should I just put on my Facebook and MySpace that I have herpes, just be honest? What ever happend to privacy? How is it any guys business unless we are planning on getting married.

Please help me. I am seriously considering suicide. My whole life is shattered. I went shopping today at the mall but I was so deeply drepssed. I have a fresh start at school tomorrow (the rape ruined my schooling but the dean is letting me come back) but all I think about is herpes.

Should I kill myself and end it all? Will every guy think I am disgusting? SHOULD i GO TO CHURCH AND MEET A GUY? Would a nice Christian guy understand?????? How come every guy I meet as soon as we start going on days he asks how I like s*x..........If guys these days are so casual about s*x, then why are they so grossed out be herpes??? People are bound to get herpes eventually.

Should I kill myself? I have no hope.

Answer 1

No you shouldn't kill yourself..That is no way to go. There is sooo much more to life that dating and s*x and finding a boyfriend.  I'm very sorry you were raped but you should not be worried about if a guy will except you with herpes.  However if you do what a boyfriend who will understand (because if you tell your fiance..he can really feel like thats a deal breaker and leave you which would make you even more depressed)--there is dating sites where you can find someone with the same STD as you and noone but him would ever have to know.  

You should go to church, but not to find a boyfriend..I think that God can help you through this and just let you see that life can be good with herpies.  

And for the record-any guy that will not accept you because you wont have s*x untill your married is not really in love with you. Also any guy that wont accept you because you have herpies is not in love with you either.

The point is DONT KILL YOURSELF...you WILL be happy again!  You just have to find the strength in you to find that happiness!

People like me love you even though we dont know you and dont want to see you end your own life because some guy did this to you!

Please dont kill yourself..I myself know that feeling and I'm so glad I didnt because I see the bright side of everything now.

If you need anyone to talk to, just sent me a message.

Answer 2

NO! You should not kill yourself! The person who has done this to you has victimized you twice. DON'T let him go 3 for 3!

An unfortunate thing about this society is its stigmatization of persons with herpes or any other kind of STD.

I've heard that there are social groups for singles with herpes. Try the Web to find out where they might be. There are lots of people out there who have herpes, and I'll bet a good many of them are feeling the same way.

  It saddens me to read that you want to kill yourself over something that is NOT your fault. It sickens me to think that a precious human being is being reduced to this.

Please get counselling for this. In my humble opinion there is something much deeper going on than a STD infection. There is someone out there for you. You're only 20.

Your life is not over. What was done to you was one of the worst things that can be done to a human being. Please be strong and realize you are every bit as valuable as anyone else, and the crime committed against you did not make you less than you were, although that rotter tried to make it that way.

Don't let that son of a b**** win!

Answer 3

No, you should not kill yourself.  Did a doctor diagnose your with herpes? Because what you wrote makes it sound like you just got two sores 10 months apart and diagnosed yourself.  If it is herpes, outbreaks can be controlled to some extent with medication.  I urge you to talk to a physician.  It's probably even more important that you talk to a therapist about the rape and your depression.  Keep in mind that what happened wasn't your fault, and anyone who would think less of you for it is an immense jerk.  No one needs to know you have herpes unless it really seems like you're about to have s*x.  There are plenty of decent men, Christian and heathen, who won't be bothered by your infection.  There are also men who will wait to sleep with you until after marriage, so don't compromise your beliefs unless you really want to.  If you don't feel that you can wait to get in touch with a therapist, dial 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) right now and someone will cheer you up!

Answer 4

Hi,

I think that you are taking the fact that you contracted herpes a bit far.  Why not talk with the Herpes Support group as to what they do when they are about to have s*x with a partner?

I dont think that you should commit suicide.  There are people who have contracted HIV/AIDS through blood transfusions, or just being born and they didnt do anything wrong neither.  And they are doing the best that they can to live their lives to the fullest.

If you choose the right partner, he will understand why you need to take precautions when having s*x.

Answer 5

sweetie im so sorry! i cryed when i read this i wish i could give you a huge hug. i have veryyyy good news tho i wen thro hrrible depression and then got seriously involved in horses and ever since it has all gone away. its something about the outside of a horse thats good for the inside of a person. im alos a very strong christian and i very strongly advise you to go to church those are two of the best things you can do. dont be embarrased to get help you dont know how manyu epole are just the same as you. if you chosse to live that means that your using the gift of life to your advantage. this was none of your fault no matter what you think. truast me on this one and get involded in horses. im not kidding =)

Answer 6

The problem with suicide is that we must come back again and finish this life that we started out to do. You would have to do it all over again. Suicide will not solve the problem.

But some things will.

You have grown up believing that what someone does or says to you determines how you feel. This is just not true.

When someone says something to you, before you react, what they have said has no power over you - is this not true?

This is the same when someone does something to you.

It is not what people are saying or doing to you that makes you cry or feel upset, it can only be your reaction to it that makes you that way.

So, you have believed you have had no control over it, the other people had the control - but you can see now that is not true.

It is always the way we see things that make the way it is. You need to change the way you look at things.

For example - If someone lost their job, they can think "it is the end of the world for me". Or they can look at it another way. They can think "what a wonderful opportunity I now have to find a better job, one that I love and more money".

If someone doesn't "like you", you can think "woe is me, I'm very unpopular without any friends". Or you can think "thank you my friend for showing me that I need to love myself more, so that you can love me".

If someone does something to you, you can feel depressed or suicidal - OR you can think "I am going to be an even BETTER person because of this, I am going to forgive them and live every day as a glorious gift, as some others have a lot less days then me".

Forgiveness sets you free.

Forgive those that you believe have "harmed" you. At the moment they are connected to you by your negative thoughts about the whole matter. Once you forgive them, a big load will be lifted from your shoulders and you will see the past for what it was, just an experience, neither "good" nor bad". When one door closes, another door opens, but we need to be looking ahead for the open door - (not back at the closed door) to see it, otherwise it could pass us by.

As this grows, your self confidence will grow, as you see just how clever and nice you are.

Once you can see you are a really nice person (and you are), others will see that you are also.

The power is in your hands.

Peacefromken.

Answer 7

Dear You,

your first priority is to seek psy help, all the rest will grow old like an old injury and your body and soul will find a way to overcome the same way a broken arm is been used after a time of recovery.

go for sport, this will help you regain self-confidencen and don't worry about Herpes, it is rather common and any true love will overcome it!

:)

Answer 8

Please don't.  You'd be surprised...more people have herpes than you think.  You can have a normal life...I'm sorry about what happened.  I think that a good first step for you is to get help for your depression - then you can see things in a new light.  I had depression and it put a dark cloud over everything in my life and I couldn't see the possiblities for the future.  Please try it.

Answer 9

Please call a suicide helpline NOW or speak with someone you trust NOW!

Millions of people with herpes or even HIV live successful lives, have families, fall in love etc. Will you be rejected, of course, we all are for many reasons, too fat, mentally ill, not intelligent, really bad acne, scars, physical disability, too big a nose, quadriplegic, it goes on and on.

The feelings you have are normal, but you need help to get through this. If you broke your leg, would you fix it yourself?

Years ago, there was no help or cure for those with polio, some cancers, leukemia, heart problems, etc. Imagine if you kill yourself now and a cure for herpes is found say in 5 years? What a waste for you.

Wanting to kill yourself is something I know about personally.

The rapist saw you as a nothing, something he could harm. If you kill yourself you will prove his thoughts, because once dead you will be a nothing and he has won, you are now harmed forever.

Much luck to you my friend!

Answer 10

Honey go to a hospital then go talk to a preacher. A Good Christian will NOT judge YOU for being violated, IT was NOT YOUR fault! I would also recommend pressing charges if possible.

Answer 11

IT WILL BE BETTER 2MORROW!! trust me ! just go take a walk or do something fun with friends. try your best to get over it . I KNOW U CAN DO IT !!!!!!!

Answer 12

Naturally you should have hope and also cofidence in yourself.  Now, did you report the rape? If you have not, see an attorney who helps in such matters and have that good for nothing put in jail.  Also, see a dr about what you think you contracted from the guy.  There are very good drugs now that controll herpes.  But, do not kill yourself for that jerk who raped you.  Hold your head up high and see that attorney or any org that help with rape cases.  That good for nothing needs to be caught and jailed.

Answer 13

Dear Sandy,

I am so sorry to hear your story. Maybe I don't understand how you felt, but I know you must continue your life. I know that getting those experiences ruined your life badly. But do you know that you are not walking alone, there are lots of women got the same experience. What you need to do is to forget all your bitterness in your heart. You don't know how your future is, who you'll be, and where you'll be.

Herpes cannot take your life, believe it. Maybe some people rejected you, but I believe not all people think the same (like me!). Still there is antiviral medication to shorten or prevent the outbreaks and suppressive therapy to reduce the transmission to your partner. You got hopes you know. And I believe you will find someone who will accept you whatever your condition is.. So keep living! :D

Joseph.



  

Answer 14

From what you said you were never clinically diagnosed with herpes...your doctor told you it was a yeast infection.  Did the doctor come back and tell you otherwise?  

Killing yourself is not the answer.  If you kill yourself you leave all of your loved ones behind...think about your family.  They love you no matter what happens.

I tried to kill myself a year ago...I remember it like it was yesterday...my husband...then my fiance sobbed as EMTs worked on me...I was unconscious but I remember hearing him cry and to this day it makes my heart ache to remember it...he is the reason I will never try it again.

You need to find a support group if you have been diagnosed...like another poster said you would be amazed at the number of people that live normal lives with herpes.  It just means you have to be more careful when you do find the right person if they don't have the virus you don't want to pass it to them.

Don't tell your friends...its none of their business...don't even trust your best friend with information like that.  The only person you ever need to tell is the person you plan on having intercourse with.  You do have to tell that person but until the moment that you actually have intercourse you can date them without telling them...or wait until you are very serious with them...I wouldn't date someone for 2 weeks and then announce you have it because at that point there is no serious connection and there is no reason to tell them.  

Find a church...go to school...live life like nothing has happened.  You deserve that...you deserve to be happy.  God wants you to be happy.  Pray for strength and guidence.  He will see you through the hard times and into the light of day!  I will pray for you too!