Should I abandon my family?

Question

I live with my mom and dad, only child.

My mom yells at me and my dad almost everyday.

And my dads an alcoholic.

There's just a lot of fighting, and somehow, I end up getting the punishment.

For example; just a couple minutes ago

Mom: " ...< insert curse words here>... DAVID!!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU <another curse word> EXCUSES!!!!

Dad: "I'M TIRED AND GOING TO BED! LEAVE ME THE h**l ALONE!!!"

Me: -sighs and gets up from computer chair to shut the door-

Mom: OH NO YOU DONT!!! YOU LEAVE THIS >'nother curse word< DOOR OPEN!

Me: Mom... You seem really upset, maybe you should go sit down on the couch and read, or--

Mom: DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE YOUR BETTER THEN ME YOUNG LADY! OR DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THIS LAST WEEK OF SUMMER GROUNDED?!

Me: No, I don't. Sorry mom.

And it's like that ALOT. But, the thing is, my uncle married this women whose extremely nice and has a kid of her own who is only three years older then me. And there house is less then 2 minutes away driving or only 10 minutes walking. So I spend alot of my time there... but now she's moving about 30 minutes away. Though she says I can LIVE there if I want. All I would need to do is get good grades and help with household chores.

So the question, do I leave my parents to live with my aunt and uncle and her child? Or do I stay here and try to help my parents?

Answer 1

It is noble of you to try to help your parents, but you cannot.  You have no control over them at all.

So, if your excellent uncle and his wife have invited you to live with them, I recommend it.  

But don&#039;t stop there.  Living in an alcoholic home has a big effect on a person.  I recommend you find an Alateen meeting in your area and go to it.  

Maintain friendly relations with your parents if you can, but look to your own healthy development first.  Don&#039;t allow their problems to consume your life.

Answer 2

Do unto them as they have done to you...

I mean they brought you to this world. They could have left you in a trash can somewhere but they didn&#039;t right???.

I&#039;m sure your mom has a lot on her plate and here you are discussing these personal issues with strangers. It is easier for me to say Leave them and forget about this issue like it never happened as it really doesn&#039;t concern me. Can you do the same thing??

Listen to your heart. Stay there and help them. Cause in the end, only your family will be there for you, nobody else....All the best.

Answer 3

Honestly, no one can give you this answer. It&#039;s completely up to you. You know what is best for you. If you feel like moving out is the best for you then that is all that matters. Sometimes you just have to do what is best for you.

I&#039;ve been in your situation, and I went and stayed with a friend of mine for awhile. I&#039;m really close to my mom. So, after awhile I decided that no matter what goes on in my house I&#039;ll deal with it, because even though it was calmer in my friend&#039;s house that I wasn&#039;t with my family and nothing can replace that. Eventually things got better, and after my stay with my friend I learned more to deal with my family problems when they arise.

If you believe you can live without your parents, and be happy then I would suggest that you make the move. In the long run it would probably be best for you, and your well being. I understand how much it affects a person. If your parents really love you then they will support you in your choice, or maybe your moving out will make them realize what they are losing, and it might help them make a change.

Answer 4

Live with your aunt. You deserve to have a better life than this. Your parents have problems, and it&#039;s not up to you to fix them. Don&#039;t listen to the person who said it&#039;s your duty to stay with your family, because it isn&#039;t a matter of loyalty, it&#039;s a matter of YOUR well-being. You need to grow up in a calm, loving environment and it sounds like your aunt&#039;s place is where you can get it. I wish to god that I could have an option not to live with my family, who also verbally abuse me and one another. I hope everything works out for you with all my heart. Good luck!

Answer 5

This is a choice you&#039;ll need to make. Since your Aunt &amp; Uncle have invited you to live with them, I&#039;m guessing they know what goes on at your house.  I would ask them if they could sit down with your parents and present the options to them together. I think it would be a good idea to leave, and it may make your parents open up their eyes to the dysfunction going on in your life. Unfortunately, staying home to try and help your parents most likely won&#039;t work. You can&#039;t help them until they realize there&#039;s a problem and try to correct it themselves. Its a tough situation and no child should have to live with verbal or any type of abuse, especially when there is an option. I wish you luck.

Answer 6

your mom is stressed about your dad..it&#039;s nothing about you...one day, go up to her and put your hand on her back and say &quot; Mom, can i please talk to you for a moment?&quot; If she goes crazy on you...it&#039;s ur cue to movie out..but if she doesn&#039;t..you can go on gently about how you feel, and then you say that you are considering moving with your aunt because you feel a lot of pressure on yourself..but honestly, what i think is that you should stay..your mom has this huge burden on herself..the man she loved is treating her like this, so she&#039;s taking it out on you..if u leave..she&#039;s alone to deal with the trouble

Answer 7

aunt  

Answer 8

Well, if they are not hitting you then you don&#039;t have it so bad. My parents used to hit me and I stayed and eventually things worked out.

Stay there and help your family. They are the ones you will count on for the rest of your life.

Answer 9

There&#039;s nothing you can really do to help your parents, you can&#039;t make them change with the way their acting. You should get out of their while you still can.

Answer 10

I think you are fortunate a healthier and more peaceful family is open to you.  I think it is possible to live with uncle and aunt and still be a caring young person to your troubled parents.  You can&#039;t change them, you know.  You can look out for yourself, and you can have compassion for your parents.  

Answer 11

wow. that&#039;s a big thing. you shouldn&#039;t get treated like that at all. You can try helping your parents, talk to each of them separately and you know tell them how you feel and ask how they feel. if it doesn&#039;t work, you wont leave with guilt. your parents can never say you never tried because you did. I&#039;m sorry. good luck though

Answer 12

Hey hun,

Tough situation huh? I&#039;d say your aunt, They treat you so good there and I really think you need to move there. Your probably young and you don&#039;t  need this in your life. With all the pressures on girls today in society, so don&#039;t need this. Go live with your aunt.

Hope I helped,

XD

Answer 13

you should go to your aunt and uncle instead and if they come back to get you with all this abuse, you should try calling some parental abuse control.  it well help your parents get better, but you will have to live with your uncle for a couple of weeks or months

Answer 14

You can not help your parents, what is happening is between them. Its not up to you to solve it.

Do not feel guilty, move with your aunt. It is obviously a better environment to live in.

Goodluck