Should I accept it - please help?

Question

My girlfriends mother came a little earlier than expected to see us this week. She's a really lovely woman and all the initial inhibitions that I had about seeing her have vanished. Nevertheless I'm pregnant with my ex boyfriends baby (it's a very long story) and her mother gave me £800 last night and said it was for the baby. I told my girlfriend and she told me to take it, however I feel really uncomfortable as I don't want anyone to get the perception that I am a "gold digger". I have enough of my own money without anyone helping me, (although it was VERY sweet of her mother to give it me), nevertheless I just feel wrong accepting such a large sum of money off of her.

Answer 1

I think you have a crush on your girlfriends mother. By all means, keep the $800, but if you do develop a sexual relationship with this lovely older woman it could be percieved that you accepted the money because she was making advances.

Answer 2

Stick it in a bank account in the childs name

Answer 3

I don't like to accept money either, but you should just tell them how you feel about it. If they know how you feel, then they shouldn't perceive you as a "gold digger." In the end, just make sure that you really thank your girlfriend's mother and give her a hug. That was really a nice thing for her to do. She must really think highly of you.

Answer 4

If you do take the money,

give back to the mother somehow.

Make her a card or a flower basket or something.

Do something to show her your gratitude.

And don't just do one thing one time, continue until YOU really feel as if you have paid it back.

Answer 5

Bank the money until after the baby is born, then buy something for the baby, send "Grandma' a nice card thanking her for the lovely gift.  Or else you could open a bank account in the baby's name and put the money in it as a college fund for your child.  The card thanking Grandma remains the same.

Answer 6

well maybe she sort of see's your child like a grandchild maybe as your dating her daughter and any grandmother wants good for their grandchild so thats probably why she wants u to have it for the baby so id take it and make sure that baby gets the best from that. after all your girlfriends mother obviously wants you to have it so id take it,, i wouldnt perceive you as a "gold digger" because it was given by your unborn childs grandmother (theoretically speaking).

Answer 7

take the monet she gave it to you for a reason

Answer 8

The best advice I can give you is to 'separate' any money which is yours and any money given to you for the baby.  Trust me you are going to need every penny you can get when the baby is born and I think you should view it as a positive thing that your gfs mother actually wants to 'get involved'.

Answer 9

Do not accept the money. It is inappropriate.

Answer 10

Actually the money was given for the baby, and being a very nice compliment from your mother-in-law. If it is a girl you could name her after your mother-in-law.

Answer 11

I think your g/f's mother is trying to support her daughter, as I'm sure she will be concerned for her, owing to the fact that your relationship has got off to a pretty complex start.  She sounds like a decent woman who will also be attempting to support this child.  You can accept the money gracefully, and with the assurance that if that money is going to make your child's beginning an easier one then you must make that happen.

Answer 12

you accepting the money does not mean that ur a gold digger!!!

she is giving u the money with love and care!! and if you turn in down it can be rude!! and as u have said... she is a nice lady!! so she must be having good intentions for you!! so there is nothing wrong in accepting the money!! besides u can show her ur appreciation in many ways when u have the money!!! treat her nicely.... visit her often with ur baby!!! she would like to be a part of ur and ur baby's life i think!! and its such a sweet thing!!! ur not a gold digger!! don't worry sister!!!

all the best with your baby!!!! i wish u the happiest pregnancy!!!

Answer 13

i say to just keep it in the bank and save it for your baby

Answer 14

I think u shud accept.. its really kind of her and it shows her acceptance!! :D

Answer 15

I don't think there's something wrong accepting it and it's for the baby anyway.

Answer 16

Firstly, as an answerer to your previous question, I am delighted to hear that things are going well.

Concerning the money, I understand why you feel it is innappropriate.

Having said that, if you and your girlfriend will raise the baby, effectively she might see her role almost as grandmother of the baby and you as he daughter-in-law.

A gift like that from you mother-in-law FOR YOUR CHILD sounds reasonable to me.

I'm glad things are going well.

Best wishes.

Nick

:)

Answer 17

If you have enough money then i would tell her you really appreciate it, but that you don't want to take it from her and if she continues to insist you take it then take it.